Reaching For Normal
Title: Reaching For Normal
Author: girl_dean
Character/pairing: Sam/girl!Dean (Dee)
Rated: G
Word count: 421
Disclaimer: Characters aren’t mine. Written for fun, not for profit. Just my own personal, totally self-indulgent, Sam/girl!Dean canon.
Notes: Takes place during 1x16 (Shadow)
Summary: Sam doesn't want to go back.
This is it. This just might be the night they find the thing that killed their mom.
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here.” Dee grabs a sawed off shotgun and checks the barrel before she loads it.
“I know, I’m just saying….what if we did?” Sam looks wistfully out the window. “Man, I’d sleep for a week. I’d go back to school...be a person again.”
Dee looks up at him. “You want to go back to school?”
“Yeah. Once we’re done hunting the thing.”
Dee nods her head, looks back down at the gun in her hand. “Huh.”
“What? Is there something wrong with that?”
“No. That’s great...good for you.”
Sam’s not stupid. He knows his sister and he knows she doesn’t mean it. But Dee doesn’t look mad, she just looks...sad.
“What are you going to do when this is all over?” Sam asks her.
Dee glares at him. “It’s not going to be over, Sam. There’s always going to be others. There’s always going to be something to hunt.”
“But there has to be something you want for yourself.”
Dee lets out a heavy sigh and turns away from him. Sam can see how tense she is just by the way she holds herself.
“What if I just want my family back?” Dee asks, back still facing him. “You and me and Dad. Back together.”
Sam’s face falls. He was afraid of that.
“We can’t go back to the way things were.” he says, voice soft.
Dee turns back to look at him. “Can’t we?” She asks. Her eyes are pleading and Sam’s heart breaks.
He flashes back to the night he told her he got a full ride to Stanford. The night he told her... “I want something other than this life.”
Dee had asked, “What’s wrong with this life?”
“The way we live, it isn’t normal!” Sam exclaimed. Then he’d paused for a moment, unsure if he should say it. Finally, he did. “The way I feel about you isn’t normal! I want to be normal, Dee.”
Now today, in this tiny motel room, two years later, he says it again.
“I still want to be normal.”
He can see Dee gets it. She gets the full meaning behind the words. She gives a shaky nod and her fingers tighten around the shotgun’s grip, knuckles going white.
“When this is over,” Sam says. “You have to let me go.”
Dee looks down, hiding her eyes behind long strands of dark blond hair.
Author: girl_dean
Character/pairing: Sam/girl!Dean (Dee)
Rated: G
Word count: 421
Disclaimer: Characters aren’t mine. Written for fun, not for profit. Just my own personal, totally self-indulgent, Sam/girl!Dean canon.
Notes: Takes place during 1x16 (Shadow)
Summary: Sam doesn't want to go back.
This is it. This just might be the night they find the thing that killed their mom.
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here.” Dee grabs a sawed off shotgun and checks the barrel before she loads it.
“I know, I’m just saying….what if we did?” Sam looks wistfully out the window. “Man, I’d sleep for a week. I’d go back to school...be a person again.”
Dee looks up at him. “You want to go back to school?”
“Yeah. Once we’re done hunting the thing.”
Dee nods her head, looks back down at the gun in her hand. “Huh.”
“What? Is there something wrong with that?”
“No. That’s great...good for you.”
Sam’s not stupid. He knows his sister and he knows she doesn’t mean it. But Dee doesn’t look mad, she just looks...sad.
“What are you going to do when this is all over?” Sam asks her.
Dee glares at him. “It’s not going to be over, Sam. There’s always going to be others. There’s always going to be something to hunt.”
“But there has to be something you want for yourself.”
Dee lets out a heavy sigh and turns away from him. Sam can see how tense she is just by the way she holds herself.
“What if I just want my family back?” Dee asks, back still facing him. “You and me and Dad. Back together.”
Sam’s face falls. He was afraid of that.
“We can’t go back to the way things were.” he says, voice soft.
Dee turns back to look at him. “Can’t we?” She asks. Her eyes are pleading and Sam’s heart breaks.
He flashes back to the night he told her he got a full ride to Stanford. The night he told her... “I want something other than this life.”
Dee had asked, “What’s wrong with this life?”
“The way we live, it isn’t normal!” Sam exclaimed. Then he’d paused for a moment, unsure if he should say it. Finally, he did. “The way I feel about you isn’t normal! I want to be normal, Dee.”
Now today, in this tiny motel room, two years later, he says it again.
“I still want to be normal.”
He can see Dee gets it. She gets the full meaning behind the words. She gives a shaky nod and her fingers tighten around the shotgun’s grip, knuckles going white.
“When this is over,” Sam says. “You have to let me go.”
Dee looks down, hiding her eyes behind long strands of dark blond hair.