I'm not the nicest guy you know.
A different version of that "pick 12 characters and answer these lulzy questions" meme that I've not done before.
1. Lt. Commander Data(Star Trek: TNG)
2. President Tom Whitmore (ID4)
3. Loki Laufeyson (Thor)
4. Thor Odinson (Well, derp.)
5. Jack Bauer (24)
6. Lore (Star Trek: TNG)
7. Wade Barrett (WWE)
8. Commander William T. Riker (Star Trek: TNG)
9. Captain Jack Sparrow (Again, derp.)
10. Aloysius Pendergast (Preston and Child novels)
11. Laufey (Thor)
12. Tony Stark (Iron Man)
1) What would #12 and #1 be like in a relationship?
Wha--Tony and Data?! XD I'm not entirely sure they'd be able to handle one another, TBH. Tony with his snark and wittiness, and Data with his analytical penchant for being quite literal that might very well shoot down every potential joke Tony might try to make.
Although if Data were to replicate Tony a glass of scotch, it might just be love at first sight. You never know. LOVE IS LOVE, BABY, WHEN IT'S TRUE. XD
2) If #6 and #3 were to have an affair, who would top?
LOKI AND LORE. YOU JUST GAVE ME LOKI. AND. LORE. HAVING AN AFFAIR.
Ohmygoodsweetlord.
...Okay, I think I can answer the question now.
Honestly, I think they'd take turns. I could see Lore just kinda rolling with it because, you know, he's an android, and without being able to ~really~ derive any sort of physical pleasure from it for himself, he'd more than likely be having sex with Loki simply because he ~COULD.~ There might be occasions where Lore might, you know, feel the need to satisfy his own dominant urges, which would be the sort of situation where he would top.
And, well, Loki does what Loki wants. End of discussion, I think. XD
3) #2 and #10. Totally crack or totally canon?
HAAAHAHAHAHA PRESIDENT WHITMORE AND AGENT PENDERGAST? LOOOOL. Crack. TOTAL crack.
4) Is #4 het or slash better?
....Look at the question you're asking. Now look WHO you're asking. Next question. ;D
5) Have you ever read fanfiction of #5 and #11?
Jack Bauer and Laufey? Yeah, not so much. How would that even go?
6) Why was #6 afraid of #7? Because #7 is after #8 and #9!
Lore was afraid of Wade Barrett because he was after Will Riker and Jack SPARROW?
...Sorry, Captain. CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow. And what sort of cracked-out crossover IS this, anyway?! Sounds like something I'd make up.
7) If #8 was to cosplay, what would they be?
Something tells me that if Commander Riker ever were to cosplay, he would be a 19th century naval officer. His costume is even equipped with a dashing captain, and a ship.
8) How many beers would #1 have to chug to have a go at #12?
What--WHY are you so keen on hooking up the android with Tony Stark? Is there something I should know, here? Something I'm missing?!
9) Would #3 make a good couple with #6? Or a better couple with #2?
Oh, Loki and Lore are just perfect for one another. God help anyone in their path.
10) #6 and #7 have to go on a fishing trip together. Would they end up getting "distracted" halfway through?
If by "distracted" you mean "snarking at each other until someone ends up out of the boat," then yes. Absolutely.
11) Pick a Disney film to represent #10 and #2.
WHAT? HOW? I DON'T EVEN.
12) If #3 and #11 are doing S & M, who's the sadist?
Laufey.
...WAIT, I REALLY JUST DID ANSWER THAT, DIDN'T I? AHHHHHKJSASHAKJSHAKSJHAGSA *runs in circles and crashes into something*
13) Pick a song to describe a #7#/12 fic.
HAH. TONY STARK/WADE BARRETT. "Boom Boom Boom Boom" by Vengaboys. XD
14) Is there any evidence for #4/#2?
Anything is possible. XD
15) How hot would #7/#3 be?
...HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. ON A SCALE OF 1-10, 25.
16) If #7 walked in on #2 and #8 performing, shall we say, "interesting" activities, what would their reaction be?
"Bloody HELL. This is the LAST time I trust a hotel room key I obtained from Heath Slater."
17) What's #1's secret kink?
ROLEPLAY. XD
18) How about #6?
I could see Lore being into the whole S&M thing. He would, undoubtedly, be the dommiest of any dom who ever dommed. And that is a fact.
19) Or perhaps #10?
Nobody knows. A gentleman never kisses (or anything else for that matter) and tells. ;D
20) What title would you assign a #1/#3/#5 threesome?
JACKDATLOKI. ...wait, that sounds wrong. LOL.
21) How about #2/#4/#6?
DAMN. XD
22) Or even #7/#8/#9?
THE OT3 OF FANTASTIC BASTARDS.
23) So. #1 (Data) has a relationship with #6 (Lore), but secretly wants #2 (President Whitmore). #6 (Lore) knows this, and breaks up with #1 (Data) to go pursue #3 (Loki), who loves #11 (LAUFEY OH MY GOD LOKI WHAT). #11 (Laufey) is with #10 (Agent Pendergast), however, who's cheating on #11 (Laufey) with #8 (Will Riker). #8 (Riker) finds out, and cheats with #7 (Wade Barrett), who is, in turn, cheating on #4 (Thor). #1 (Data) pursues #2 (President Whitmore), who just broke up with #5 (Jack Bauer), who's now after #9 (Jack Sparrow). #1 (Data) gives up on this, and ends up with #12 (Tony Stark), while #6 (Lore) finally ends up with #3 (Loki).
OKAY LET'S REVIEW THIS.
Data has a relationship with Lore, but secretly wants President Whitmore. (It's gotta be the hair and the smooth voice.) Lore knows this, and breaks up with Data to go pursue Loki, who loves LAUFEY. OH MY GOD, LOKI, WHAT. Laufey is with Agent Pendergast, however, who's cheating on Laufey with Will Riker. Riker finds out, and cheats with Wade Barrett, who is, in turn, cheating on Thor. Data pursues Pres. Whitmore, who just broke up with Jack Bauer, who's now after Jack Sparrow. Data gives up on this, and ends up with Tony Stark, while Lore finally ends up with LOKI.
Not only did that break pretty much every fandom wall, I'm also seeing a recurring theme.
MEME. WHY DO YOU WANT LOKI AND TONY STARK TO END UP TOGETHER SO BADLY!??!! IS THIS A SIGN?!!
Also, this meme apparently ships Loki and Lore hardcore, and I am SO okay with that.
24) Title a #6#/7 western fic. Yes, western. As in, cowboys, desperados, and such.
The Android and the Snide Englishman Go West. XD
25) If #8/#1 became canon, how would you react?
Riker/Data? *ahem.* ....
All of the above.
26) If #2 and #9 became a couple, who would top?
What--OH BLOODY HELL, NOW YOU REALLY ~ARE~ TRYING TO BREAK MY BRAIN.
27) What if it was #3 and #9?
LOKI AND JACK SPARROW. STOP IT. STOP.
28) #4 and #9?
I SURRENDER EVERYTHIIIING--
29) Do you know anyone who reads #9 slash?
I know plenty of people who do. XD
30) Or #2 het?
I don't even think there IS any of that out there. XD
31) Write me a little ficcy for #5/#9.
"Who are you?" the blonde demanded, glancing around warily at his surroundings. He was on a dock, somehow, clothing soaked to the skin by seawater, and Jack found he could not for the life of him even fathom how he had gotten there to begin with. The man who stood over him -- a pirate, Jack presumed he was -- had a half-empty bottle of rum in one hand and a compass in the other, and gazed down upon him as though he were a serpent that had just slithered out of the sea.
"I should ask you the same bloody question, you know." The pirate gave another long-suffering glance at the compass and placed it back into his pocket. "Name's Jack Sparrow. Captain Jack Sparrow. And who might you be?"
32) Write a possible summary for a fanfiction involving #2/#9/#7.
LOLOLOL I WAS DRUNK. THIS IS WHAT I CAME UP WITH. R*R PLZZZZZZ
33) Quick. #3 and #7 are cosplaying. What as?
EACH OTHER. XDDDD I'm sure it has something to do with one of Loki's plots.
34) Have you ever seen Fanart of #11 and #12?
Not in the same place at the same time.
35) Who would be the most outraged because of the above questions?
Probably Thor. He'd be all "WHAT TREACHERY IS THIS?!" I don't even know anymore, guys.
Yeah. File this under "things I do when I'm supposed to be productive."
1. Lt. Commander Data(Star Trek: TNG)
2. President Tom Whitmore (ID4)
3. Loki Laufeyson (Thor)
4. Thor Odinson (Well, derp.)
5. Jack Bauer (24)
6. Lore (Star Trek: TNG)
7. Wade Barrett (WWE)
8. Commander William T. Riker (Star Trek: TNG)
9. Captain Jack Sparrow (Again, derp.)
10. Aloysius Pendergast (Preston and Child novels)
11. Laufey (Thor)
12. Tony Stark (Iron Man)
1) What would #12 and #1 be like in a relationship?
Wha--Tony and Data?! XD I'm not entirely sure they'd be able to handle one another, TBH. Tony with his snark and wittiness, and Data with his analytical penchant for being quite literal that might very well shoot down every potential joke Tony might try to make.
Although if Data were to replicate Tony a glass of scotch, it might just be love at first sight. You never know. LOVE IS LOVE, BABY, WHEN IT'S TRUE. XD
2) If #6 and #3 were to have an affair, who would top?
LOKI AND LORE. YOU JUST GAVE ME LOKI. AND. LORE. HAVING AN AFFAIR.
Ohmygoodsweetlord.
...Okay, I think I can answer the question now.
Honestly, I think they'd take turns. I could see Lore just kinda rolling with it because, you know, he's an android, and without being able to ~really~ derive any sort of physical pleasure from it for himself, he'd more than likely be having sex with Loki simply because he ~COULD.~ There might be occasions where Lore might, you know, feel the need to satisfy his own dominant urges, which would be the sort of situation where he would top.
And, well, Loki does what Loki wants. End of discussion, I think. XD
3) #2 and #10. Totally crack or totally canon?
HAAAHAHAHAHA PRESIDENT WHITMORE AND AGENT PENDERGAST? LOOOOL. Crack. TOTAL crack.
4) Is #4 het or slash better?
....Look at the question you're asking. Now look WHO you're asking. Next question. ;D
5) Have you ever read fanfiction of #5 and #11?
Jack Bauer and Laufey? Yeah, not so much. How would that even go?
6) Why was #6 afraid of #7? Because #7 is after #8 and #9!
Lore was afraid of Wade Barrett because he was after Will Riker and Jack SPARROW?
...Sorry, Captain. CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow. And what sort of cracked-out crossover IS this, anyway?! Sounds like something I'd make up.
7) If #8 was to cosplay, what would they be?
Something tells me that if Commander Riker ever were to cosplay, he would be a 19th century naval officer. His costume is even equipped with a dashing captain, and a ship.
8) How many beers would #1 have to chug to have a go at #12?
What--WHY are you so keen on hooking up the android with Tony Stark? Is there something I should know, here? Something I'm missing?!
9) Would #3 make a good couple with #6? Or a better couple with #2?
Oh, Loki and Lore are just perfect for one another. God help anyone in their path.
10) #6 and #7 have to go on a fishing trip together. Would they end up getting "distracted" halfway through?
If by "distracted" you mean "snarking at each other until someone ends up out of the boat," then yes. Absolutely.
11) Pick a Disney film to represent #10 and #2.
WHAT? HOW? I DON'T EVEN.
12) If #3 and #11 are doing S & M, who's the sadist?
Laufey.
...WAIT, I REALLY JUST DID ANSWER THAT, DIDN'T I? AHHHHHKJSASHAKJSHAKSJHAGSA *runs in circles and crashes into something*
13) Pick a song to describe a #7#/12 fic.
HAH. TONY STARK/WADE BARRETT. "Boom Boom Boom Boom" by Vengaboys. XD
14) Is there any evidence for #4/#2?
Anything is possible. XD
15) How hot would #7/#3 be?
...HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. ON A SCALE OF 1-10, 25.
16) If #7 walked in on #2 and #8 performing, shall we say, "interesting" activities, what would their reaction be?
"Bloody HELL. This is the LAST time I trust a hotel room key I obtained from Heath Slater."
17) What's #1's secret kink?
ROLEPLAY. XD
18) How about #6?
I could see Lore being into the whole S&M thing. He would, undoubtedly, be the dommiest of any dom who ever dommed. And that is a fact.
19) Or perhaps #10?
Nobody knows. A gentleman never kisses (or anything else for that matter) and tells. ;D
20) What title would you assign a #1/#3/#5 threesome?
JACKDATLOKI. ...wait, that sounds wrong. LOL.
21) How about #2/#4/#6?
DAMN. XD
22) Or even #7/#8/#9?
THE OT3 OF FANTASTIC BASTARDS.
23) So. #1 (Data) has a relationship with #6 (Lore), but secretly wants #2 (President Whitmore). #6 (Lore) knows this, and breaks up with #1 (Data) to go pursue #3 (Loki), who loves #11 (LAUFEY OH MY GOD LOKI WHAT). #11 (Laufey) is with #10 (Agent Pendergast), however, who's cheating on #11 (Laufey) with #8 (Will Riker). #8 (Riker) finds out, and cheats with #7 (Wade Barrett), who is, in turn, cheating on #4 (Thor). #1 (Data) pursues #2 (President Whitmore), who just broke up with #5 (Jack Bauer), who's now after #9 (Jack Sparrow). #1 (Data) gives up on this, and ends up with #12 (Tony Stark), while #6 (Lore) finally ends up with #3 (Loki).
OKAY LET'S REVIEW THIS.
Data has a relationship with Lore, but secretly wants President Whitmore. (It's gotta be the hair and the smooth voice.) Lore knows this, and breaks up with Data to go pursue Loki, who loves LAUFEY. OH MY GOD, LOKI, WHAT. Laufey is with Agent Pendergast, however, who's cheating on Laufey with Will Riker. Riker finds out, and cheats with Wade Barrett, who is, in turn, cheating on Thor. Data pursues Pres. Whitmore, who just broke up with Jack Bauer, who's now after Jack Sparrow. Data gives up on this, and ends up with Tony Stark, while Lore finally ends up with LOKI.
Not only did that break pretty much every fandom wall, I'm also seeing a recurring theme.
MEME. WHY DO YOU WANT LOKI AND TONY STARK TO END UP TOGETHER SO BADLY!??!! IS THIS A SIGN?!!
Also, this meme apparently ships Loki and Lore hardcore, and I am SO okay with that.
24) Title a #6#/7 western fic. Yes, western. As in, cowboys, desperados, and such.
The Android and the Snide Englishman Go West. XD
25) If #8/#1 became canon, how would you react?
Riker/Data? *ahem.* ....
All of the above.
26) If #2 and #9 became a couple, who would top?
What--OH BLOODY HELL, NOW YOU REALLY ~ARE~ TRYING TO BREAK MY BRAIN.
27) What if it was #3 and #9?
LOKI AND JACK SPARROW. STOP IT. STOP.
28) #4 and #9?
I SURRENDER EVERYTHIIIING--
29) Do you know anyone who reads #9 slash?
I know plenty of people who do. XD
30) Or #2 het?
I don't even think there IS any of that out there. XD
31) Write me a little ficcy for #5/#9.
"Who are you?" the blonde demanded, glancing around warily at his surroundings. He was on a dock, somehow, clothing soaked to the skin by seawater, and Jack found he could not for the life of him even fathom how he had gotten there to begin with. The man who stood over him -- a pirate, Jack presumed he was -- had a half-empty bottle of rum in one hand and a compass in the other, and gazed down upon him as though he were a serpent that had just slithered out of the sea.
"I should ask you the same bloody question, you know." The pirate gave another long-suffering glance at the compass and placed it back into his pocket. "Name's Jack Sparrow. Captain Jack Sparrow. And who might you be?"
32) Write a possible summary for a fanfiction involving #2/#9/#7.
LOLOLOL I WAS DRUNK. THIS IS WHAT I CAME UP WITH. R*R PLZZZZZZ
33) Quick. #3 and #7 are cosplaying. What as?
EACH OTHER. XDDDD I'm sure it has something to do with one of Loki's plots.
34) Have you ever seen Fanart of #11 and #12?
Not in the same place at the same time.
35) Who would be the most outraged because of the above questions?
Probably Thor. He'd be all "WHAT TREACHERY IS THIS?!" I don't even know anymore, guys.
Yeah. File this under "things I do when I'm supposed to be productive."