not the best of days
what if i am wrong and everything ive every wanted and thought was right, isnt good for me. ?
what if i have been lieing to myself this entire time just because it feels better than something else?
what if it all just ends suddenly? how will i change? what will i do?
you have the answers. i have the questions. lets get together and make some solutions.
i been wondering the past few days if i really am doing the right think with my life right now. why do i always go into dream mode and freak people out. why do i always fantazize about a life that i prolly will never see? why cant i just be greatful for what i have and happy where i am at. i feel like my life is useless and i serve no purpose being here. why am i here. what is my niche? when will i find it and be secure in the body i am in and the role i play in this world. i feel like my existence does nothing for any one. sure i have friends and family that love me, but they could have done fine without me. i didnt offer anything miraculous. i dont do anything lately but tick people off and cost them $$.
im in one of my many down moods. low points. call it whatever. im there. i need something uplifting to happen, something to surprise me and make me smile.
tomorrow i get to see nick and hopefully it will be a good day. we are prolly goign to see "bad santa" cuz he thinks its gunna be funny so it should be good. we'll see.
what if i have been lieing to myself this entire time just because it feels better than something else?
what if it all just ends suddenly? how will i change? what will i do?
you have the answers. i have the questions. lets get together and make some solutions.
i been wondering the past few days if i really am doing the right think with my life right now. why do i always go into dream mode and freak people out. why do i always fantazize about a life that i prolly will never see? why cant i just be greatful for what i have and happy where i am at. i feel like my life is useless and i serve no purpose being here. why am i here. what is my niche? when will i find it and be secure in the body i am in and the role i play in this world. i feel like my existence does nothing for any one. sure i have friends and family that love me, but they could have done fine without me. i didnt offer anything miraculous. i dont do anything lately but tick people off and cost them $$.
im in one of my many down moods. low points. call it whatever. im there. i need something uplifting to happen, something to surprise me and make me smile.
tomorrow i get to see nick and hopefully it will be a good day. we are prolly goign to see "bad santa" cuz he thinks its gunna be funny so it should be good. we'll see.