It's been a rough time for me this past week. Days were spent rushing around at work. Nights were spent looking after Emma on my own and doing more work. I even broke down a couple of times. The main challenge for me is not just spending time with emma but that I've committed myself to exclusively breastfeeding her for at least a year or more. And that has been making it very hard for me to manage at work. It got to the point where I was crying last night and feeling like I'm going to have to choose between being in a job that I like and breastfeeding my child. And I'm ashamed to admit that I haven't been able to decide which I should choose.
I know that bf need not be an all or nothing scenario. Most babies grow up taking some or a lot of formula and my baby is probably going to be okay if we go down that path. But I'm not ready to do that yet. Which brings me to my next point. This was brought up by DL, who told me that as parents we need to be aware if we're doing something for ourselves or for our children. Is it for my own ego that I'm still stubbornly insisting in doing TBF? Honestly, I don't know.
So I'm now open to looking for a job. I still love my current job a lot, but I feel that I should at least try to see what's out there.
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