(no subject)
I stayed home from work today with a migraine. I always feel guilty for staying home, even when I need to stay home.
It's 3:30, it's sunny, (as sunny as Washington state can be in January after 3pm anyway), and my apartment is quiet. Everything is quiet. I love my life so much that it makes me afraid that something bad is going to happen, like a shoe is going to drop. I'm healed enough to know that this is just a symptom of cptsd, it's normal for people who have been through the kind of things I've been through to not trust happiness or peace.
I don't know why but I never thought I'd live to see this. I'm 40, I'm happy, and I'm free. I didn't think I'd live to see this.