(no subject)
I tried to watch the news this morning. I like the ambient background noise of the morning news. I like the weather reports, I like hearing about traffic even though I'm not going to be driving in it, I just like the news.
But today, there was a fatal crash being reported. It just looks like someone fell asleep at the wheel and veered into the oncoming lane. I can close my eyes and see the mangled sedan...it was hit by a semi truck. A fucking truck.
It made me feel both hot and cold at the same time. Someone just lost their spouse, their parent, their sibilng, their friend. The lives of everyone who knew the people who died are going to change forever today. It brought me right back to the day that I found out that Chad died. It made me feel like someone hit reset on my grief. I felt all of those feelings that I felt on that day. All of them.
And then the news being the news, it kept repeating the story. I mean, the road had to be closed, so it was an important story, but they just kept showing the car. The truck had virtually no damage. But people died in the car.
I fucking hate triggers and I wish that I didn't get fucking wrecked by this kind of stuff. I'm so sick of this. I'm sick of feeling like I'm better just to get knocked back down. I'm just so tired.
But today, there was a fatal crash being reported. It just looks like someone fell asleep at the wheel and veered into the oncoming lane. I can close my eyes and see the mangled sedan...it was hit by a semi truck. A fucking truck.
It made me feel both hot and cold at the same time. Someone just lost their spouse, their parent, their sibilng, their friend. The lives of everyone who knew the people who died are going to change forever today. It brought me right back to the day that I found out that Chad died. It made me feel like someone hit reset on my grief. I felt all of those feelings that I felt on that day. All of them.
And then the news being the news, it kept repeating the story. I mean, the road had to be closed, so it was an important story, but they just kept showing the car. The truck had virtually no damage. But people died in the car.
I fucking hate triggers and I wish that I didn't get fucking wrecked by this kind of stuff. I'm so sick of this. I'm sick of feeling like I'm better just to get knocked back down. I'm just so tired.