(no subject)
it's hard waking up in a cold bed alone again. i want to wake up and see his face. it's so hard to say goodbye. to see the tears in he's fighting back so that he can be strong for you. i've said and thought some horrible things about him in the past few months. why, i'll never know. the distance, i'm sure, but there truly are no excuses for the way i've acted and the way that i've treated him.
i've never been so proud of someone or something as i am of him. hearing the guest speaker at the ball about our war. i had flashbacks of the times when he was there. i always knew what he did for me, our country, and its citizens. it was different though as i heard these things being said and watching him. my eyes never left him. i watched him the entire time.
i thank God for giving me him. he loves me and everything i am. all my emotions, he loves me. and i know in my heart that he will never stop. distance is hard, but the time we have together makes it all worthwhile. the tears, the heartache, the anger, the confusion, the frustration, the questions. it's all worth it to be with him in the end.
i have come to terms with the fact that i am always mad at him about something, for it isn't true at all. it isn't him that i'm angry with. after i explained it to him this weekend, i don't think he understands nor will he ever, my emotions, my anger, my frustration. but i think that he realizes that he hasn't done anything wrong (most of the time, ha). it's just me. i don't understand it, so i don't expect him to.
all i know is that i love him more than anything in this world, and there isn't anything i wouldn't do for him. although i'm sure i'll have my doubts in the days, weeks, months, and years to follow, i think i'm entitled to this as long as we have the burden of distance on our shoulders. i know that i'm with the person i was meant to be with, and he is with the person he was meant to be with.
i'm sure you'll never read this, but i love you. i love everything you are. i'm proud of you and everything you do for me, for you, for us, for our country. there is nothing in this world that i wouldn't do for you. you wasn't my beginning, but i know that you will be my end. i will always love you, no matter where the Corps takes us. no matter the miles between us. no matter the amount of days in between visits. being miserably alone is worth a few days of being together, being happy, and being in love with you. again.
i've never been so proud of someone or something as i am of him. hearing the guest speaker at the ball about our war. i had flashbacks of the times when he was there. i always knew what he did for me, our country, and its citizens. it was different though as i heard these things being said and watching him. my eyes never left him. i watched him the entire time.
i thank God for giving me him. he loves me and everything i am. all my emotions, he loves me. and i know in my heart that he will never stop. distance is hard, but the time we have together makes it all worthwhile. the tears, the heartache, the anger, the confusion, the frustration, the questions. it's all worth it to be with him in the end.
i have come to terms with the fact that i am always mad at him about something, for it isn't true at all. it isn't him that i'm angry with. after i explained it to him this weekend, i don't think he understands nor will he ever, my emotions, my anger, my frustration. but i think that he realizes that he hasn't done anything wrong (most of the time, ha). it's just me. i don't understand it, so i don't expect him to.
all i know is that i love him more than anything in this world, and there isn't anything i wouldn't do for him. although i'm sure i'll have my doubts in the days, weeks, months, and years to follow, i think i'm entitled to this as long as we have the burden of distance on our shoulders. i know that i'm with the person i was meant to be with, and he is with the person he was meant to be with.
i'm sure you'll never read this, but i love you. i love everything you are. i'm proud of you and everything you do for me, for you, for us, for our country. there is nothing in this world that i wouldn't do for you. you wasn't my beginning, but i know that you will be my end. i will always love you, no matter where the Corps takes us. no matter the miles between us. no matter the amount of days in between visits. being miserably alone is worth a few days of being together, being happy, and being in love with you. again.