...alone and thinking...
if you have ever loved someone and you've lost them look up the Evans Blue cd called The Melody and the Energetic Nature of Volume. It's one fucking amazing CD.
the songs that i fell in love with were cold (but im still here), stop and say you love me, and quote.
this past week has revealed alot to me about myself and the truth is that i guess cecil was rite; i am "emo".
yes i admit i can be a pain in the ass and i constantly feel like im always complaining and i am aware that i am overly emotional. i cant however change. i hav tried very much to do so but i cant. this is just me. its like my way of interpreting the world. i kno it sounds wierd but let me put it this way. most people interpret and absorb wat goes around them through the regular 5 senses. the difference for me is that i seem to hav a 6th sense that overshadows all the others...emotion, affect, empathy, or w/e u wanna call it...but the truth is that i interpret the world with emotions. i get vibes/feelings off of the people around me. i wasnt completely aware of how much vibes from other people, namely those i care about the most, affect me. i hav gone bak in my memory and i can always sense wen sumthing is wrong. i mite not always show it clearly but i can tell. thats one of the reasons i acted the way i acted the last couple days cecil and i were together. i could feel him withdrawing from me and i didnt know wat to do...he wouldnt talk to me about wat was going on...the more i tried to hold on to him the worse it got and if he ever reads this i just want to say im sorry.
i kno this sounds wierd but its the truth. i wear my heart on my sleeve and i get alot of shit for it, but in the end its worth it.
lately im constantly saying i wish i could stop feeling...ive been wanting to lock away my heart in a freezer...but the truth is that i wouldnt b able to function...i would lose myself b/c my emotions, my heart is who i am.
(gio)
the songs that i fell in love with were cold (but im still here), stop and say you love me, and quote.
this past week has revealed alot to me about myself and the truth is that i guess cecil was rite; i am "emo".
yes i admit i can be a pain in the ass and i constantly feel like im always complaining and i am aware that i am overly emotional. i cant however change. i hav tried very much to do so but i cant. this is just me. its like my way of interpreting the world. i kno it sounds wierd but let me put it this way. most people interpret and absorb wat goes around them through the regular 5 senses. the difference for me is that i seem to hav a 6th sense that overshadows all the others...emotion, affect, empathy, or w/e u wanna call it...but the truth is that i interpret the world with emotions. i get vibes/feelings off of the people around me. i wasnt completely aware of how much vibes from other people, namely those i care about the most, affect me. i hav gone bak in my memory and i can always sense wen sumthing is wrong. i mite not always show it clearly but i can tell. thats one of the reasons i acted the way i acted the last couple days cecil and i were together. i could feel him withdrawing from me and i didnt know wat to do...he wouldnt talk to me about wat was going on...the more i tried to hold on to him the worse it got and if he ever reads this i just want to say im sorry.
i kno this sounds wierd but its the truth. i wear my heart on my sleeve and i get alot of shit for it, but in the end its worth it.
lately im constantly saying i wish i could stop feeling...ive been wanting to lock away my heart in a freezer...but the truth is that i wouldnt b able to function...i would lose myself b/c my emotions, my heart is who i am.
(gio)