Fanfic: A Nickname Is a Sign of Fondness (And maybe Mayhem)
*Cough* First time poster, and I'm just going to leave this here while I have enough time to do this without fretting for the umpteenth time that I'm doing something wrong.
Title: A Name to Remember One's (Idiotic) Self By
Characters: Gintoki, Katsura.
Pairings: None.
Word count: 2795.
Rating: G, maybe some GinZura?
Warnings: Katsura being Katsura.
Summary: There were five moments when he cared and one when he did not.
Notes: Technically this was written for an RP, but it's not very obvious. The theme was 5 + 1, and it should be obvious which was the five and which was the one here. :P
I.
“Shut up, Zura.”
That line makes Katsura Kotaro stare as he looks at his new friend with a mixture of awe, wonder and just the tiniest bit of annoyance. Zura? Gintoki was definitely looking at him when he said that word, and they had just learned in last week’s class that more and more people were calling wigs ‘Zura’ nowadays. Really, the thought of even adults being lazy to say ‘katsura’ properly made him pout at times.
(It has nothing to do with how it sounds like his own name. No, not at all.)
The memory of that lesson makes Katsura frown and touch his silky soft hair while he ponders the meaning of Gintoki’s first words, quite forgetting that it’s rude to tell someone else to shut up in the process. Kat-su-ra, he mouths silently, trying to rationalize Gintoki’s words. Yes, of course, it has to be that his name is difficult for Gintoki to say since he’s only just begun to speak.
Thinking that, Katsura beams happily at Gintoki’s direction. “It’s alright, Gintoki,” the child says. “Sensei says that it’ll take you some time to learn, and then you can-”
Gintoki glares at him and digs his nose as he says the phrase again. “Oi, didn’t you hear me the first time? I said shut up, Zura”.
That did it. Katsura glares angrily at Gintoki for a grand total of one second before he tackles the other kid in protest of this stupid and modern sounding nickname that he’s decided he dislikes. “It’s not Zura, it’s Katsura!” He cries out as he’s dragged away by his sensei.
Unfortunately for Katsura, an essay explaining why he felt it necessary to defend his family’s honor isn’t what Shouyou-sensei considers a proper apology. And he’s still banned from playing after apologizing.
II.
If at anything, Katsura feels that the second (significant) time is worse than the first.
It happens on a sunny summer day when he and Gintoki are charged with the sacred task of buying cold drinks for everyone. Naturally, it’s Katsura that gets to keep the money since Gintoki can’t seem to hold on to it at all and he always loses it before they even reach their destination.
They’re not even close to the stall before it’s evident that trouble lies just ahead. ‘Trouble’ takes on the form of a lady with long hair talking idly with the store owner, who’s clearly so engrossed in enjoying the conversation that he ignores the two tiny children that are approaching his stall. “Oh, it’s her again...” Katsura says dejectedly, looking down at his feet. He’s seen her before; every time, he’s always returned empty-handed because he just can’t bear to interrupt people’s conversations when they seem to be so close.
“Her?” That makes Katsura remember that Gintoki hasn’t been here for a long time yet so he explains. “Yes, her. I don’t know her name, but she seems to be the stall owner’s lover. She only seems to come here during the summer, and while it’s rude to talk about people’s affairs, I wonder why does she only visit him once a year, like the Weaver and the Cowherd. Perhaps she’s obtained a better life somewhere but she can never forget her first love and-”
All Gintoki hears is that Katsura isn’t making sense again and that a lot of people are going to be irritated and hot if they don’t get the drinks. He normally doesn’t even bother to work hard except that even Shouyou-sensei agreed that he could use a drink this time and he takes that responsibility very seriously. That does mean he needs to distract Katsura first though.
“Oi, Zura, maybe you should go and talk to that lady a bit and ask her about her hair.”
“What?”
“You know, birds of a feather gather together. I’m saying you ought to go discuss haircare tips with her while I buy the drinks since you’re obviously trying to grow girly hair too.”
“I SO DO NOT!” With an angry roar, Katsura lunges and tackles Gintoki, coins flying everywhere as the boys fight and bicker so loudly that the store owner rushes over to see what’s happening. Gintoki then flashes a grin at Katsura to show him that he’s succeeded in distracting the store owner, but what actually happens is that Gintoki has managed to lose all of the money and he and Katsura go back bloodied, bruised and angry at each other, though that last one’s more Katsura than Gintoki.
III.
The third moment Katsura remembers isn’t one that’s related to Gintoki, but it’s awful all the same.
By this time, all of the other kids have taken to calling him Zura directly, partly because they enjoy the nickname, partly because it’s hilarious and partly because they’re jealous of him. For all his girly looks, Katsura’s still Shouyou-sensei’s star student and it’s obvious why: He’s bright, he’s obedient and very eager to please.
Chief among these kids is Takasugi Shinsuke, who’s always endeared himself to his teacher because he has no one else. While it’s true that he’s been friends with Katsura for a long time, that doesn’t mean they always get along. It’s always those petty things that get them yelling at each other, like how Katsura thinks Takasugi should work harder (When he already is; it’s just not enough) or how Takasugi thinks Katsura should get his hair cut (Katsura likes his hair long; it reminds him of sensei).
Bit by bit, the tension between them rises until it explodes one day when Takasugi calls Katsura names one too many times and Katsura responds by punching him. While Katsura is sent to a room to think about what he’s done, Gintoki passes by the room and hears someone crying in there.
“But it’s not fair...he’s the one that began it,” Katsura complains to Gintoki, still sobbing over the injustice of it all minutes afterwards while he tries to dry off his tears because samurai didn’t cry.
“You’re still the one that punched him though.”
“But he insulted my family name! And the Katsura family has been nothing but kind to me. I can’t let anyone call them names, not even Shinsuke. Anyway, he knows he’s not supposed to do that.”
It’s at times like this when Katsura sometimes wonders if there’s more to his nickname than a disgrace and a stupid word. Most of the other kids still feel uneasy about Gintoki and his white hair and his red eyes, but Katsura doesn’t see that. Instead, he sees the same unruly and lazy boy that the other children see but he has the strange feeling that Gintoki knows so much more than he’s letting on.
“You’re also not supposed to punch people, but I guess since you both did something you weren’t supposed to do, that cancels each other out, right? There’s no need to think about it so much, Zura.”
Katsura stops crying a while later, but it will be many more minutes before he washes his face and puts up a brave front when he goes to apologize to Takasugi and many, many more before he silently acknowledges that what he did was wrong.
IV.
True to its bad reputation, it’s the fourth moment that Katsura remembers most and holds closest to his heart when his more rational self tells him that he should just forget it.
He remembers the day in perfect detail, down to the constant shivering of his body as he tells Gintoki that he’s going to fight for Japan, to finally drive out the Amato scum that stole their sensei’s life. The truth was always that he was scared, that he was but a boy of thirteen daring to join the war veterans for a cause he felt was worthwhile, worthy of their late sensei’s name.
He should have seen it then, the slight fading of light in Gintoki’s eyes as Gintoki listens to how he plans to fight and keep fighting until the Amanto leave and their Japan is returned to them. But perhaps his younger self already knows the truth he knows now: Regret or no regret, he’s going. He’ll always feel guilty over what he’s done but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s chosen this path and he’ll live and die by it.
“...So that’s what we’re going to do. Shinsuke’s following, and we think we might get other people along the way,” Katsura concludes, trying to his hands away from himself so as to disguise the coldness he feels, both physically and mentally.
“Zura.” Gintoki’s always been the one to see things like they are and tell it like it is. At that moment, all he sees is that Katsura is hugging himself and looking down at his feet, and he knows that Katsura is still a boy that scares easily even when he declares obstinately that he’s definitely not frightened. And yet, despite that fear, Gintoki’s also seen the conviction in Katsura’s eyes, as if he’s decided that this was what he was born to do.
Perhaps it’s destiny that will send him back there, to those fields of red where only the strong survive. Gintoki knows that he can survive it again what with him being a monster, but Katsura...Katsura is different. He may have read about heroes and their legendary exploits in great detail and he might be the smartest out of them, but he’s not a bred warrior despite all his insistences about how all samurai get trained for that purpose. Even though Katsura has the skills to fight well and he’s enthusiastic enough about it, Gintoki’s only ever really seen him happy when he’s tending to others, whether it’s fussing over his friends, soothing agitated baby animals and getting bitten for his kindness and when he’s talking about how he wants everything to stay the same.
“What is it, Gintoki?”
“...Are you sure you want to do this?” Because Katsura might or might not go, but there’s one thing Gintoki is sure of: He doesn’t want to lose yet another person important to him no matter how much of a burden they might be.
“Of course I’m sure. Oh, and, and you can’t call me Zura while we’re there.” It’s odd how the littlest things feel so important at the moments, those small details one never looks at until they’re vanishing. “‘Zura’ sounds too girly, Gintoki. If we go there, you have to call me Katsura.”
Although Gintoki never did promise in the end, Katsura remembers that he didn’t mind so much after all when Gintoki breaks that rule the first time they’re alone in their journey to a war-torn world.
V.
The fifth moment isn’t anything special, but maybe that’s exactly why Katsura remembers it fondly. Or at least, more fondly than he remembers those other moments.
It starts with a “Yo, Zura!” when they’re in the middle of a battlefield and Katsura almost misses it as he’s busy cleaning his sword during a breather, a rare moment when human and Amanto alike have stopped fighting for a while to attend to their injured and fallen. Katsura used to feel some semblance of peace during these moments, but lately he’s given himself into thinking that these moments are but a prelude to an upcoming battle so he can’t rest even then.
“It’s not Zura, it’s Katsura!” He snaps back, continuing to polish his sword. But in reality, it’s not the nickname that has him on edge this time so much as it’s the endless fights, the samurai blood being spilled each day despite their best efforts and the constant looming threat of the Amanto using their stronger weapons against them, just like how they had made the Shogun surrender and began their relentless conquest of Japan.
“You need to relax, Zura,” Gintoki says, suddenly right beside him. “I’ve seen you going at that spot for at least an hour now, like some housewife. Is that what you want to be? Have you suddenly found your true calling in the middle of the battlefield, ah?”
The drawl makes Katsura snap back to his senses as he realizes that Gintoki is right (About relaxing, not about being a housewife). And yet, although his sword is completely clean he can still see the colors running down the blade, red mingling with purple and mixed in with green and orange, a truly hideous sight.
“I suppose you’re right,” Katsura manages after a while, still not taking his eyes off the sword. “But there are still some men that are in need of care and I need to bury five more, and then-”
“And then what, Zura? By that time we’ll need to fight again and you won’t have had any rest.” A pause. “Stop being such an idiot, Zura. Those people will still be around when you wake up.” There’s something else that Gintoki wants to add there, something along the line of how Katsura might be the next one to go if he continues to forgo his sleep but he can tell from Katsura’s surprised face that calling him an idiot did the trick for now.
“Ah, I suppose so.” Katsura wants to say that those men might not be alive by the time he wakes up, but now that he’s admitted defeat he can feel lethargy calling out to him, telling him that he would be better off dragging himself off to sleep before he just collapses onto the floor. “Good night, Gintoki,” Katsura mumbles sleepily, heading off to a nearby tent to sleep.
“...good night?” Gintoki looks up to see a barely rising sun bathing the world with its warm light and he groans as he presses his hand to his head. “What the hell, Zura, I think I may be starting to worry for you. It’s not night any more, the sun’s already rising.”
VI.
Truthfully, there’s very little that Katsura remembers about the last moment. The details linger just slightly out of his memory, lost and obscured in a flurry of activity and a dully colored haze of exhaustion and pain, except for an irritatingly familiar voice calling to him while he’s trying to remember how to breathe.
“...Katsura? Oi, Katsura, wake up. This is no time for you to be sleeping after everything you said about responsibility.”
He remembers a strong hand gripping his own while he remains lying on something soft, trying to listen more carefully for the voice that’s talking to him. It’s Gintoki, that he knows, but instead of being gruff as usual it’s almost like Gintoki is trying to be reassuring-
And he’s actually calling him Katsura. But why, after all of these years?
It goes on for hours, Gintoki talking to him like he’s actually supposed to be unconscious, talking as if Katsura can’t actually hear him talking about how he’d like to let Katsura sleep but he’s honestly more relieved when Katsura is up and about instead of lying here like he’s been for days with no regard for anything around him, all the while calling Katsura by his proper name.
As the haze begins to dissipate and Katsura finds himself able to see the insides of the place where he’s been treated, he begins to finally understand why Gintoki’s called him a wig all of these years. A wig is what people wear to be presentable, what balding people don in order to hide their insecurities or to convey that they’re better than others when in reality life’s just too short to worry about what one thinks of you.
“Gintoki...I’m awake now,” he calls out, smiling gently as he opens his eyes.
“Oh, you’re finally awake huh, Zura? You sure took your sweet time. Whatever happened to your so-called discipline?” Gintoki shoots back, but the smile on his face betrays any image of aloofness he might have had.
“I must have learned that from you, Gintoki. And...I heard everything you said just now. To think that it took me so long to understand why you gave me such a nickname...perhaps I really am an idiot after all,” Katsura says back, already drifting back to sleep now that he’s shown Gintoki that he’s conscious and capable of talking back.
“I’ll never understand how you keep overthinking these things, Zura,” Gintoki mumbles under his breath once Katsura is slumbering again like he should be. “It’s just a nickname is all- but I guess, if you want to think there’s some deeper meaning behind it, I don’t really mind,” he finishes, content to have Katsura still gripping onto his hand while he’s smiling for the first time since they left for the war.
Title: A Name to Remember One's (Idiotic) Self By
Characters: Gintoki, Katsura.
Pairings: None.
Word count: 2795.
Rating: G, maybe some GinZura?
Warnings: Katsura being Katsura.
Summary: There were five moments when he cared and one when he did not.
Notes: Technically this was written for an RP, but it's not very obvious. The theme was 5 + 1, and it should be obvious which was the five and which was the one here. :P
I.
“Shut up, Zura.”
That line makes Katsura Kotaro stare as he looks at his new friend with a mixture of awe, wonder and just the tiniest bit of annoyance. Zura? Gintoki was definitely looking at him when he said that word, and they had just learned in last week’s class that more and more people were calling wigs ‘Zura’ nowadays. Really, the thought of even adults being lazy to say ‘katsura’ properly made him pout at times.
(It has nothing to do with how it sounds like his own name. No, not at all.)
The memory of that lesson makes Katsura frown and touch his silky soft hair while he ponders the meaning of Gintoki’s first words, quite forgetting that it’s rude to tell someone else to shut up in the process. Kat-su-ra, he mouths silently, trying to rationalize Gintoki’s words. Yes, of course, it has to be that his name is difficult for Gintoki to say since he’s only just begun to speak.
Thinking that, Katsura beams happily at Gintoki’s direction. “It’s alright, Gintoki,” the child says. “Sensei says that it’ll take you some time to learn, and then you can-”
Gintoki glares at him and digs his nose as he says the phrase again. “Oi, didn’t you hear me the first time? I said shut up, Zura”.
That did it. Katsura glares angrily at Gintoki for a grand total of one second before he tackles the other kid in protest of this stupid and modern sounding nickname that he’s decided he dislikes. “It’s not Zura, it’s Katsura!” He cries out as he’s dragged away by his sensei.
Unfortunately for Katsura, an essay explaining why he felt it necessary to defend his family’s honor isn’t what Shouyou-sensei considers a proper apology. And he’s still banned from playing after apologizing.
II.
If at anything, Katsura feels that the second (significant) time is worse than the first.
It happens on a sunny summer day when he and Gintoki are charged with the sacred task of buying cold drinks for everyone. Naturally, it’s Katsura that gets to keep the money since Gintoki can’t seem to hold on to it at all and he always loses it before they even reach their destination.
They’re not even close to the stall before it’s evident that trouble lies just ahead. ‘Trouble’ takes on the form of a lady with long hair talking idly with the store owner, who’s clearly so engrossed in enjoying the conversation that he ignores the two tiny children that are approaching his stall. “Oh, it’s her again...” Katsura says dejectedly, looking down at his feet. He’s seen her before; every time, he’s always returned empty-handed because he just can’t bear to interrupt people’s conversations when they seem to be so close.
“Her?” That makes Katsura remember that Gintoki hasn’t been here for a long time yet so he explains. “Yes, her. I don’t know her name, but she seems to be the stall owner’s lover. She only seems to come here during the summer, and while it’s rude to talk about people’s affairs, I wonder why does she only visit him once a year, like the Weaver and the Cowherd. Perhaps she’s obtained a better life somewhere but she can never forget her first love and-”
All Gintoki hears is that Katsura isn’t making sense again and that a lot of people are going to be irritated and hot if they don’t get the drinks. He normally doesn’t even bother to work hard except that even Shouyou-sensei agreed that he could use a drink this time and he takes that responsibility very seriously. That does mean he needs to distract Katsura first though.
“Oi, Zura, maybe you should go and talk to that lady a bit and ask her about her hair.”
“What?”
“You know, birds of a feather gather together. I’m saying you ought to go discuss haircare tips with her while I buy the drinks since you’re obviously trying to grow girly hair too.”
“I SO DO NOT!” With an angry roar, Katsura lunges and tackles Gintoki, coins flying everywhere as the boys fight and bicker so loudly that the store owner rushes over to see what’s happening. Gintoki then flashes a grin at Katsura to show him that he’s succeeded in distracting the store owner, but what actually happens is that Gintoki has managed to lose all of the money and he and Katsura go back bloodied, bruised and angry at each other, though that last one’s more Katsura than Gintoki.
III.
The third moment Katsura remembers isn’t one that’s related to Gintoki, but it’s awful all the same.
By this time, all of the other kids have taken to calling him Zura directly, partly because they enjoy the nickname, partly because it’s hilarious and partly because they’re jealous of him. For all his girly looks, Katsura’s still Shouyou-sensei’s star student and it’s obvious why: He’s bright, he’s obedient and very eager to please.
Chief among these kids is Takasugi Shinsuke, who’s always endeared himself to his teacher because he has no one else. While it’s true that he’s been friends with Katsura for a long time, that doesn’t mean they always get along. It’s always those petty things that get them yelling at each other, like how Katsura thinks Takasugi should work harder (When he already is; it’s just not enough) or how Takasugi thinks Katsura should get his hair cut (Katsura likes his hair long; it reminds him of sensei).
Bit by bit, the tension between them rises until it explodes one day when Takasugi calls Katsura names one too many times and Katsura responds by punching him. While Katsura is sent to a room to think about what he’s done, Gintoki passes by the room and hears someone crying in there.
“But it’s not fair...he’s the one that began it,” Katsura complains to Gintoki, still sobbing over the injustice of it all minutes afterwards while he tries to dry off his tears because samurai didn’t cry.
“You’re still the one that punched him though.”
“But he insulted my family name! And the Katsura family has been nothing but kind to me. I can’t let anyone call them names, not even Shinsuke. Anyway, he knows he’s not supposed to do that.”
It’s at times like this when Katsura sometimes wonders if there’s more to his nickname than a disgrace and a stupid word. Most of the other kids still feel uneasy about Gintoki and his white hair and his red eyes, but Katsura doesn’t see that. Instead, he sees the same unruly and lazy boy that the other children see but he has the strange feeling that Gintoki knows so much more than he’s letting on.
“You’re also not supposed to punch people, but I guess since you both did something you weren’t supposed to do, that cancels each other out, right? There’s no need to think about it so much, Zura.”
Katsura stops crying a while later, but it will be many more minutes before he washes his face and puts up a brave front when he goes to apologize to Takasugi and many, many more before he silently acknowledges that what he did was wrong.
IV.
True to its bad reputation, it’s the fourth moment that Katsura remembers most and holds closest to his heart when his more rational self tells him that he should just forget it.
He remembers the day in perfect detail, down to the constant shivering of his body as he tells Gintoki that he’s going to fight for Japan, to finally drive out the Amato scum that stole their sensei’s life. The truth was always that he was scared, that he was but a boy of thirteen daring to join the war veterans for a cause he felt was worthwhile, worthy of their late sensei’s name.
He should have seen it then, the slight fading of light in Gintoki’s eyes as Gintoki listens to how he plans to fight and keep fighting until the Amanto leave and their Japan is returned to them. But perhaps his younger self already knows the truth he knows now: Regret or no regret, he’s going. He’ll always feel guilty over what he’s done but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s chosen this path and he’ll live and die by it.
“...So that’s what we’re going to do. Shinsuke’s following, and we think we might get other people along the way,” Katsura concludes, trying to his hands away from himself so as to disguise the coldness he feels, both physically and mentally.
“Zura.” Gintoki’s always been the one to see things like they are and tell it like it is. At that moment, all he sees is that Katsura is hugging himself and looking down at his feet, and he knows that Katsura is still a boy that scares easily even when he declares obstinately that he’s definitely not frightened. And yet, despite that fear, Gintoki’s also seen the conviction in Katsura’s eyes, as if he’s decided that this was what he was born to do.
Perhaps it’s destiny that will send him back there, to those fields of red where only the strong survive. Gintoki knows that he can survive it again what with him being a monster, but Katsura...Katsura is different. He may have read about heroes and their legendary exploits in great detail and he might be the smartest out of them, but he’s not a bred warrior despite all his insistences about how all samurai get trained for that purpose. Even though Katsura has the skills to fight well and he’s enthusiastic enough about it, Gintoki’s only ever really seen him happy when he’s tending to others, whether it’s fussing over his friends, soothing agitated baby animals and getting bitten for his kindness and when he’s talking about how he wants everything to stay the same.
“What is it, Gintoki?”
“...Are you sure you want to do this?” Because Katsura might or might not go, but there’s one thing Gintoki is sure of: He doesn’t want to lose yet another person important to him no matter how much of a burden they might be.
“Of course I’m sure. Oh, and, and you can’t call me Zura while we’re there.” It’s odd how the littlest things feel so important at the moments, those small details one never looks at until they’re vanishing. “‘Zura’ sounds too girly, Gintoki. If we go there, you have to call me Katsura.”
Although Gintoki never did promise in the end, Katsura remembers that he didn’t mind so much after all when Gintoki breaks that rule the first time they’re alone in their journey to a war-torn world.
V.
The fifth moment isn’t anything special, but maybe that’s exactly why Katsura remembers it fondly. Or at least, more fondly than he remembers those other moments.
It starts with a “Yo, Zura!” when they’re in the middle of a battlefield and Katsura almost misses it as he’s busy cleaning his sword during a breather, a rare moment when human and Amanto alike have stopped fighting for a while to attend to their injured and fallen. Katsura used to feel some semblance of peace during these moments, but lately he’s given himself into thinking that these moments are but a prelude to an upcoming battle so he can’t rest even then.
“It’s not Zura, it’s Katsura!” He snaps back, continuing to polish his sword. But in reality, it’s not the nickname that has him on edge this time so much as it’s the endless fights, the samurai blood being spilled each day despite their best efforts and the constant looming threat of the Amanto using their stronger weapons against them, just like how they had made the Shogun surrender and began their relentless conquest of Japan.
“You need to relax, Zura,” Gintoki says, suddenly right beside him. “I’ve seen you going at that spot for at least an hour now, like some housewife. Is that what you want to be? Have you suddenly found your true calling in the middle of the battlefield, ah?”
The drawl makes Katsura snap back to his senses as he realizes that Gintoki is right (About relaxing, not about being a housewife). And yet, although his sword is completely clean he can still see the colors running down the blade, red mingling with purple and mixed in with green and orange, a truly hideous sight.
“I suppose you’re right,” Katsura manages after a while, still not taking his eyes off the sword. “But there are still some men that are in need of care and I need to bury five more, and then-”
“And then what, Zura? By that time we’ll need to fight again and you won’t have had any rest.” A pause. “Stop being such an idiot, Zura. Those people will still be around when you wake up.” There’s something else that Gintoki wants to add there, something along the line of how Katsura might be the next one to go if he continues to forgo his sleep but he can tell from Katsura’s surprised face that calling him an idiot did the trick for now.
“Ah, I suppose so.” Katsura wants to say that those men might not be alive by the time he wakes up, but now that he’s admitted defeat he can feel lethargy calling out to him, telling him that he would be better off dragging himself off to sleep before he just collapses onto the floor. “Good night, Gintoki,” Katsura mumbles sleepily, heading off to a nearby tent to sleep.
“...good night?” Gintoki looks up to see a barely rising sun bathing the world with its warm light and he groans as he presses his hand to his head. “What the hell, Zura, I think I may be starting to worry for you. It’s not night any more, the sun’s already rising.”
VI.
Truthfully, there’s very little that Katsura remembers about the last moment. The details linger just slightly out of his memory, lost and obscured in a flurry of activity and a dully colored haze of exhaustion and pain, except for an irritatingly familiar voice calling to him while he’s trying to remember how to breathe.
“...Katsura? Oi, Katsura, wake up. This is no time for you to be sleeping after everything you said about responsibility.”
He remembers a strong hand gripping his own while he remains lying on something soft, trying to listen more carefully for the voice that’s talking to him. It’s Gintoki, that he knows, but instead of being gruff as usual it’s almost like Gintoki is trying to be reassuring-
And he’s actually calling him Katsura. But why, after all of these years?
It goes on for hours, Gintoki talking to him like he’s actually supposed to be unconscious, talking as if Katsura can’t actually hear him talking about how he’d like to let Katsura sleep but he’s honestly more relieved when Katsura is up and about instead of lying here like he’s been for days with no regard for anything around him, all the while calling Katsura by his proper name.
As the haze begins to dissipate and Katsura finds himself able to see the insides of the place where he’s been treated, he begins to finally understand why Gintoki’s called him a wig all of these years. A wig is what people wear to be presentable, what balding people don in order to hide their insecurities or to convey that they’re better than others when in reality life’s just too short to worry about what one thinks of you.
“Gintoki...I’m awake now,” he calls out, smiling gently as he opens his eyes.
“Oh, you’re finally awake huh, Zura? You sure took your sweet time. Whatever happened to your so-called discipline?” Gintoki shoots back, but the smile on his face betrays any image of aloofness he might have had.
“I must have learned that from you, Gintoki. And...I heard everything you said just now. To think that it took me so long to understand why you gave me such a nickname...perhaps I really am an idiot after all,” Katsura says back, already drifting back to sleep now that he’s shown Gintoki that he’s conscious and capable of talking back.
“I’ll never understand how you keep overthinking these things, Zura,” Gintoki mumbles under his breath once Katsura is slumbering again like he should be. “It’s just a nickname is all- but I guess, if you want to think there’s some deeper meaning behind it, I don’t really mind,” he finishes, content to have Katsura still gripping onto his hand while he’s smiling for the first time since they left for the war.