Smitty
Yesterday I went to the Elder-Beerman awards ceremony thing-a-ma-jig. I won cosmetic girl of the Universe. Thank you very much. Helen Sue Stroud had to give a mini speech about me, using a microphone. I had to stand up while she spoke in front of millions. I made sure to smile pretty, stand with my hand on my hip, left hip bone out, shoulders back, head slightly cocked to the side, chin up...you know, something very chic and European. On our break I mingled with people from all over the Elder-Beerman world, yet still, amongst the millions, I ran into ol' Beverlee Kirby in the restroom. We exchanged pleasantries, which always include a few choice quotes from the hit VH1 show, "Flavor of Love." Bev knows what time it is. Brandy told Helen-Sue that she had "a black girl's ass." I laughed so hard internally I almost died and choked. I didn't realize how many people I knew within the company. I made sure to kiss ass whenever applicable. In some cases it was harder than others. I saw this one manager who used to work at our store and I didn't have anything sincere to say, so I said, "I like your hair, it's pretty. After I said it I realized I had said it in a child like monotone. After the ceremonious ceremony I realized, it's true, it's not what you know, it's who you know.