(no subject)
sometimes i just get really freaked out about things. like right now. i start to think about things in the future, change, and i freak out. like this summer, i'll be in athens all alone, possibly even living alone. and i can't even handle that. i can't imagine coming home every day to an empty apartment without even anywhere to go, or anyone to see. its making me feel upset. and then of course we'll al graduate and be thrown into a world finally without each other. i find it all very frightening. i always get waves of homesickness on sunday nights. when i'm here for some reason, i don't feel like a real person anymore. all my thoughts are geared towards school and/or my future, i just want to think about other things. me and daniel went to the botanical gardens on saturday and i had this great sense of relief. i just felt like i was actually doing something for once. daniel said something about how when we were in high school, it was like you had your life, and then you went to school, it was just something that you did. a part of your life. school is life now. and that's it. no getting away from it. this is my life now. yes, i can go home sometimes, but we all know the feeling...its not quite right there anymore either. i miss my parents, i miss having a life outside of this.
i can't go home for fall break. i have to work. i'll be here alone. it will be my first taste of the future i guess.
i get so attached to the special people in my life. they are everything to me. my family, daniel, my best friends. and it just has always seemed that if i don't have them, i have nothing. nothing else even comes close.
i hate change.
i can't go home for fall break. i have to work. i'll be here alone. it will be my first taste of the future i guess.
i get so attached to the special people in my life. they are everything to me. my family, daniel, my best friends. and it just has always seemed that if i don't have them, i have nothing. nothing else even comes close.
i hate change.