Bittersweet Happiness
So. I know it's been a long, long time since I wrote anything on any of my journals. I got sucked into the morass of Facebook along with so many other things. School is going well and I'm in my final term. Hopefully that means thst the hell of a job I've been stuck in will only be a factor fir anither month or two.
That's not the thing that's been on my mind the most of late, though. No... that personal emotional trial has been saved for what I feel is the death of what was a thirteen-year friendship.
It started last summer when two people I cared for very much split up very suddenly. There were bad reactions, bad feelings, and a close friend of mine (a sister nearly) stopped taling to anyone. She hurt her partner, she hurt me (if purely by not talking to me, and wasn't going to be sorry for any of it.
Fast forward to now. Things are still strained. Said friend has not said more than a line or two to me since then. I reached out a time or two but never got answers or much concrete acknowledgement of the growing rift. At one point I was convinced she wasn't even aware of it.
The last message she sent to me wasn't even to me alone. It was a FB post to my mother and I letting us know she was pregnant and due in January. Before that she'd only written us when her cat was shot. I gave politely appropriate responses each time...
She knows how to contact me. I was invited to her baby shower but declined due to work. I didn't feel right going, I couldn't find it in me to make fake smiles. The pictures later hurt enough.
I'm not a part of that world anymore.
That's not the thing that's been on my mind the most of late, though. No... that personal emotional trial has been saved for what I feel is the death of what was a thirteen-year friendship.
It started last summer when two people I cared for very much split up very suddenly. There were bad reactions, bad feelings, and a close friend of mine (a sister nearly) stopped taling to anyone. She hurt her partner, she hurt me (if purely by not talking to me, and wasn't going to be sorry for any of it.
Fast forward to now. Things are still strained. Said friend has not said more than a line or two to me since then. I reached out a time or two but never got answers or much concrete acknowledgement of the growing rift. At one point I was convinced she wasn't even aware of it.
The last message she sent to me wasn't even to me alone. It was a FB post to my mother and I letting us know she was pregnant and due in January. Before that she'd only written us when her cat was shot. I gave politely appropriate responses each time...
She knows how to contact me. I was invited to her baby shower but declined due to work. I didn't feel right going, I couldn't find it in me to make fake smiles. The pictures later hurt enough.
I'm not a part of that world anymore.