Straight Privilege in the Church
Here is a combined list of what y'all and others came up with. Continued additions quite welcome!
When seeking a new church, most straight people can...
· go anywhere and assume their sexual orientation will be accepted.
· enter a new church without the fear that the pastor/members will tell them they are not "really" Christian because of their sexual orientation.
· find a church based on their theology and worship preferences (or whatever other reasons they may choose to attend), without taking into consideration the question of whether they will be welcomed.
· expect to never have to "come out" to anybody. It is assumed they are heterosexual.
While active in the church, most straight people can…
· know that the acceptability of their sexual orientation will never be the topic of a bible study, sermon, casual conversation, or book in the church library.
· expect to hear their relationship patterns reflected in sermon illustrations
· expect that theology developed by people who share their sexual orientation will be presented in small group studies and sermons.
· be certain that their sexual orientation will be represented in photos chosen for a church bulletin, newsletter, website, devotional, publicity flyer, etc.
· never be asked to speak for everyone who is heterosexual.
· hear phrases related to their sexual orientation used to mean positive things (i.e. "the straight and narrow path")
· avoid assumptions that they hold certain political views or other traits based on their sexual orientation.
· be guaranteed to find people of their sexual orientation in any class, committee, or leadership group.
· hear/see pairings like theirs presented in scripture readings and often affirmed as good.
· never have to think twice about whether or not to use gendered pronouns when talking about people in their past or present life.
· remain ignorant of the language, cultures, and issues of lgbt people.
· expect to be ministered to by someone who inherently understands the challenges & rewards of their type of sexuality without having to come out and/or educate church staff before beginning to receive useful support.
· be a lifelong member of a single denomination without having to seek a new denomination that is more supportive of their sexual orientation.
If partnered, most straight people can…
· bring a new partner to church without it being a “coming out” moment that re-defines them.
· hold hands, kiss at church, or talk loudly and frequently about their significant other without concern for what others might think and without being considered pushy.
· approach any church about a wedding with a reasonable expectation that the gender of their partner will not be an issue
· know that their ceremony will be called a wedding without debate over alternative terms such as union, blessing, commitment ceremony
· find many wedding liturgies that reflect their relationship structure without modification.
If raising children, most straight people can…
· approach the church with the reasonable expectation that their child will be baptized without question or controversy, and that the baptismal ceremony and certificates will reflect their family structure.
· expect that their children will hear about families like theirs in Sunday School lessons and see their family structures represented in posters, handouts, and other children’s materials.
· be pretty sure their kids won’t have to educate other kids about their family structure or defend its validity.
· know their kids won't be teased or harassed by other kids/youth because of their parents’ sexual orientation.
· avoid having their child be held up as “proof” that people like them can raise happy, healthy, and heterosexual kids.
When the “issue” of homosexuality comes up, most straight people can...
· expect to have the majority representation in the room when deciding whether or not (and how) to fully include non-heterosexual people in the church.
· be considered "unbiased" in conversations about whether or not homosexuality is sin
· claim to "not see sexual orientation" and "just see people" to avoid recognizing and dealing with homophobia and heterosexism.
· receive congratulations for being so open and inclusive when an lgbt person comes to their church and is treated well.
When called to a particular ministry, most straight people can...
· follow their call without having to choose between their call and their desire to be part of a committed sexual relationship
· expect that they can remain in their own denomination while pursuing their call.
· hold ministerial office without being asked (explicitly or implicitly) if they're "practicing."
· be ordained without considering whether they are in a welcoming or a “don’t ask/don’t tell” region.
· find seminary classes filled with people who affirm their sexual orientation.
· avoid worry about losing a job or a job opportunity if their sexual orientation is discovered/revealed.
· be vocally supportive of lgbt people with less risk, fewer accusations of bias, and more “thank you”s than an lgbt person who does the same.
When seeking a new church, most straight people can...
· go anywhere and assume their sexual orientation will be accepted.
· enter a new church without the fear that the pastor/members will tell them they are not "really" Christian because of their sexual orientation.
· find a church based on their theology and worship preferences (or whatever other reasons they may choose to attend), without taking into consideration the question of whether they will be welcomed.
· expect to never have to "come out" to anybody. It is assumed they are heterosexual.
While active in the church, most straight people can…
· know that the acceptability of their sexual orientation will never be the topic of a bible study, sermon, casual conversation, or book in the church library.
· expect to hear their relationship patterns reflected in sermon illustrations
· expect that theology developed by people who share their sexual orientation will be presented in small group studies and sermons.
· be certain that their sexual orientation will be represented in photos chosen for a church bulletin, newsletter, website, devotional, publicity flyer, etc.
· never be asked to speak for everyone who is heterosexual.
· hear phrases related to their sexual orientation used to mean positive things (i.e. "the straight and narrow path")
· avoid assumptions that they hold certain political views or other traits based on their sexual orientation.
· be guaranteed to find people of their sexual orientation in any class, committee, or leadership group.
· hear/see pairings like theirs presented in scripture readings and often affirmed as good.
· never have to think twice about whether or not to use gendered pronouns when talking about people in their past or present life.
· remain ignorant of the language, cultures, and issues of lgbt people.
· expect to be ministered to by someone who inherently understands the challenges & rewards of their type of sexuality without having to come out and/or educate church staff before beginning to receive useful support.
· be a lifelong member of a single denomination without having to seek a new denomination that is more supportive of their sexual orientation.
If partnered, most straight people can…
· bring a new partner to church without it being a “coming out” moment that re-defines them.
· hold hands, kiss at church, or talk loudly and frequently about their significant other without concern for what others might think and without being considered pushy.
· approach any church about a wedding with a reasonable expectation that the gender of their partner will not be an issue
· know that their ceremony will be called a wedding without debate over alternative terms such as union, blessing, commitment ceremony
· find many wedding liturgies that reflect their relationship structure without modification.
If raising children, most straight people can…
· approach the church with the reasonable expectation that their child will be baptized without question or controversy, and that the baptismal ceremony and certificates will reflect their family structure.
· expect that their children will hear about families like theirs in Sunday School lessons and see their family structures represented in posters, handouts, and other children’s materials.
· be pretty sure their kids won’t have to educate other kids about their family structure or defend its validity.
· know their kids won't be teased or harassed by other kids/youth because of their parents’ sexual orientation.
· avoid having their child be held up as “proof” that people like them can raise happy, healthy, and heterosexual kids.
When the “issue” of homosexuality comes up, most straight people can...
· expect to have the majority representation in the room when deciding whether or not (and how) to fully include non-heterosexual people in the church.
· be considered "unbiased" in conversations about whether or not homosexuality is sin
· claim to "not see sexual orientation" and "just see people" to avoid recognizing and dealing with homophobia and heterosexism.
· receive congratulations for being so open and inclusive when an lgbt person comes to their church and is treated well.
When called to a particular ministry, most straight people can...
· follow their call without having to choose between their call and their desire to be part of a committed sexual relationship
· expect that they can remain in their own denomination while pursuing their call.
· hold ministerial office without being asked (explicitly or implicitly) if they're "practicing."
· be ordained without considering whether they are in a welcoming or a “don’t ask/don’t tell” region.
· find seminary classes filled with people who affirm their sexual orientation.
· avoid worry about losing a job or a job opportunity if their sexual orientation is discovered/revealed.
· be vocally supportive of lgbt people with less risk, fewer accusations of bias, and more “thank you”s than an lgbt person who does the same.