Slipping Away
Title: Slipping Away
Paring: Henry / Ryeowook, a little QMi
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Angst!!! 700+ words, why can't I write anything long anymore?
Summary: Han Geng has his reasons but his actions will effect more than just himself. Henry-centric story about how easy it is for something to just disappear.
“Why?” the word passed Henry’s lips and hung heavily in the air as he stared at Han Geng in their living room. The others had all already spoken, their reactions ranging from angry shouting to broken sobbing; all the while Henry had remained silent.
After seeing the words “contract terminated” on Kyuhyun’s laptop screen, Henry wasn’t even sure if he could speak. It was almost unreal how everything had been wonderful and then suddenly it was like he was a fish who had just noticed its tank had a very substantial and dangerous crack. All he could do was silently watch and wait for everything to come crashing down. It wasn’t until Han Geng had looked at him that he even said a word.
Han Geng was silent for a moment, looking like every minute of this was tearing him to pieces. They were all being torn to pieces, just in different ways. When he didn’t reply Henry spoke again.
“Why, gege?” His hands, his arms, his whole body was shaking and he felt Ryeowook gently take hold of a shaking hand.
“I just… It’s not that I… It’s complicated, Henli.”
“So complicated that you couldn’t tell us? That we had to find out on the internet like all the fans? We’re supposed to be family. You’re supposed to…supposed to…” Supposed to look out for us. The words caught in his throat. The crack was getting larger and his world was draining away. He had always thought Han Geng would protect them, protect him but now he wasn’t so sure. He wasn’t sure about anything.
“This decision could change everything and not just for you, gege.”
“Henli, you don’t und-”
“Don’t you dare say I don’t understand! You don’t understand! What about us? If you’re gone what happens to us? Did you even think about that?” Tears were burning his eyes now and he hated them. He hated that what he was saying sounded selfish. Most of all he hated how terrified he felt and how little control he had over a situation that could alter his entire life. A lump was forming in his throat and it was becoming hard to swallow, let alone speak, but he continued, not even noticing he had starting speaking English. Where had all of those words he had learned gone?
“If you’re gone where do we go? Where will Zhou Mi sing? Where will I be? This is all I have and you might take it all away and you think I don’t understand?” The tears were slipping down his cheeks now and he didn’t even stay to see Han Geng’s reaction. Slipping his hand out of Ryeowook’s he turned and ran down the hallway.
He passed by Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi’s room where the latter was sniffling on the bed, being comforted by Kyuhyun who looked like he had been crying as well. It was a stark difference from how angry Kyuhyun had been earlier. Seeing Kyuhyun angry was frightening. He had yelled at Han Geng until Zhou Mi started to cry. Henry knew Zhou Mi saw the crack too.
Finally reaching his room he flung the door shut, only to hear a yelp from Ryeowook who nearly got hit in the face, his hands flying up and taking the blow just in time.
“I’m sorry, Wookie…” Henry choked, trying to examine Ryeowook’s hands and make sure they were okay but his vision was blurred and Ryeowook tugged his hands away, pulling him into a tight hug instead.
Ryeowook didn’t say a word and Henry started to sob, burying his face in Ryeowook’s shoulder, his hands clutching at Ryeowook’s back. He had wanted so much to be mature about all of this, but how could he be when the world was shaking around him and nothing he knew was stable. And just when he had started to feel safe.
It was like life was mocking him for even daring to feel secure and happy for once. Everything had been going so well that he hadn’t even dreamed anything could hurt it. He had gotten too comfortable, too confident. Well not anymore.
“I’m scared.” He wept against Ryeowook’s collarbone as the older boy ran soothing hands over his back. Just the thought of all of this, of his dream disappearing as if it had never really happened, made him feel like he couldn’t breathe. He could feel it. He could feel it all just slipping away. At least in Ryeowook’s arms everything felt steady and he pressed even closer.
Ryeowook just held him tighter, lips pressing into his hair with reassuring kisses but speaking words just as broken as the world around them. “I am too, Henli.”
~*~*~*~
A.N.: Noooo I don't hate Geng. I love him. And I respect his decision. His contract sucks and he deserves better. They all do. I wish they would all go demand better contracts. But I am scared to death of losing SJM. Because without Geng, SJ can probably limp on, but SJM will be ruined. And what happens if we lose SJM? Henry and Mimi will just disappear? I think I might die... And if I don't start seeing more people acknowledging this I think I might go crazy...
Anyway, angsty fic is angsty. I hope I can write something happier soon. This just wouldn't quit eating at my brain.
Comments are loved (and would totally cheer me up). <3
Paring: Henry / Ryeowook, a little QMi
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Angst!!! 700+ words, why can't I write anything long anymore?
Summary: Han Geng has his reasons but his actions will effect more than just himself. Henry-centric story about how easy it is for something to just disappear.
“Why?” the word passed Henry’s lips and hung heavily in the air as he stared at Han Geng in their living room. The others had all already spoken, their reactions ranging from angry shouting to broken sobbing; all the while Henry had remained silent.
After seeing the words “contract terminated” on Kyuhyun’s laptop screen, Henry wasn’t even sure if he could speak. It was almost unreal how everything had been wonderful and then suddenly it was like he was a fish who had just noticed its tank had a very substantial and dangerous crack. All he could do was silently watch and wait for everything to come crashing down. It wasn’t until Han Geng had looked at him that he even said a word.
Han Geng was silent for a moment, looking like every minute of this was tearing him to pieces. They were all being torn to pieces, just in different ways. When he didn’t reply Henry spoke again.
“Why, gege?” His hands, his arms, his whole body was shaking and he felt Ryeowook gently take hold of a shaking hand.
“I just… It’s not that I… It’s complicated, Henli.”
“So complicated that you couldn’t tell us? That we had to find out on the internet like all the fans? We’re supposed to be family. You’re supposed to…supposed to…” Supposed to look out for us. The words caught in his throat. The crack was getting larger and his world was draining away. He had always thought Han Geng would protect them, protect him but now he wasn’t so sure. He wasn’t sure about anything.
“This decision could change everything and not just for you, gege.”
“Henli, you don’t und-”
“Don’t you dare say I don’t understand! You don’t understand! What about us? If you’re gone what happens to us? Did you even think about that?” Tears were burning his eyes now and he hated them. He hated that what he was saying sounded selfish. Most of all he hated how terrified he felt and how little control he had over a situation that could alter his entire life. A lump was forming in his throat and it was becoming hard to swallow, let alone speak, but he continued, not even noticing he had starting speaking English. Where had all of those words he had learned gone?
“If you’re gone where do we go? Where will Zhou Mi sing? Where will I be? This is all I have and you might take it all away and you think I don’t understand?” The tears were slipping down his cheeks now and he didn’t even stay to see Han Geng’s reaction. Slipping his hand out of Ryeowook’s he turned and ran down the hallway.
He passed by Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi’s room where the latter was sniffling on the bed, being comforted by Kyuhyun who looked like he had been crying as well. It was a stark difference from how angry Kyuhyun had been earlier. Seeing Kyuhyun angry was frightening. He had yelled at Han Geng until Zhou Mi started to cry. Henry knew Zhou Mi saw the crack too.
Finally reaching his room he flung the door shut, only to hear a yelp from Ryeowook who nearly got hit in the face, his hands flying up and taking the blow just in time.
“I’m sorry, Wookie…” Henry choked, trying to examine Ryeowook’s hands and make sure they were okay but his vision was blurred and Ryeowook tugged his hands away, pulling him into a tight hug instead.
Ryeowook didn’t say a word and Henry started to sob, burying his face in Ryeowook’s shoulder, his hands clutching at Ryeowook’s back. He had wanted so much to be mature about all of this, but how could he be when the world was shaking around him and nothing he knew was stable. And just when he had started to feel safe.
It was like life was mocking him for even daring to feel secure and happy for once. Everything had been going so well that he hadn’t even dreamed anything could hurt it. He had gotten too comfortable, too confident. Well not anymore.
“I’m scared.” He wept against Ryeowook’s collarbone as the older boy ran soothing hands over his back. Just the thought of all of this, of his dream disappearing as if it had never really happened, made him feel like he couldn’t breathe. He could feel it. He could feel it all just slipping away. At least in Ryeowook’s arms everything felt steady and he pressed even closer.
Ryeowook just held him tighter, lips pressing into his hair with reassuring kisses but speaking words just as broken as the world around them. “I am too, Henli.”
~*~*~*~
A.N.: Noooo I don't hate Geng. I love him. And I respect his decision. His contract sucks and he deserves better. They all do. I wish they would all go demand better contracts. But I am scared to death of losing SJM. Because without Geng, SJ can probably limp on, but SJM will be ruined. And what happens if we lose SJM? Henry and Mimi will just disappear? I think I might die... And if I don't start seeing more people acknowledging this I think I might go crazy...
Anyway, angsty fic is angsty. I hope I can write something happier soon. This just wouldn't quit eating at my brain.
Comments are loved (and would totally cheer me up). <3