An Unfair World
As a child I used to be unorigional and cliche, but it was how I needed to be at the time. Since, I believe, I have been on a quest for origionality. In that quest, I have found origionality by it's self and for the sake of its self to be empty and meaningless. Better to be cliche and heartfelt then to be origional and shallow.
I think a lot these days about how all things are connected (there I go being cliche again.)But truly... think about the butterfly effect, monarch butterflies, GE corn, and the tsunami, Katrina, and Rita. Think about the possibility of a looming avian flu epidemic... no... pandemic? think about global warming, how a few more million cars can raise the oceans temperature by just a few degrees, and how that can raise the intensity of a storm by two or three classes... I mean, if you think about it all together, one might come to the conclusion that we're doomed. Whats more, we've brought it all upon ourselves.
sometimes i panic, when i'm driving down the highway... running madly from place to place in my busy life. often a sad event like a dead animal on the road, or an accident will provoke it, or sometimes it's just the sinking needle on the fuel gauge. Often the rush of emotions that follow verbalize themselves as "I'm a monster" or "we are monsters" (we being the human race as a whole.) and while the human mind, heart, and subconcious are my passion and my chosen field of study... i really hate us as a species.
Thinking also about connectedness in relation to the self... physical, mental, emotional? How does birth trauma effect the rest of our lives? how crucial are the first few moments in this world, breathing independent of our mothers? how interwoven and delicate are those first bonds, those first associations, those first primal beliefs?
anyway, it's late, and though i don't feel it i know i am exhausted.
michael's coming to visit me on friday. i'm way excited.
I think a lot these days about how all things are connected (there I go being cliche again.)But truly... think about the butterfly effect, monarch butterflies, GE corn, and the tsunami, Katrina, and Rita. Think about the possibility of a looming avian flu epidemic... no... pandemic? think about global warming, how a few more million cars can raise the oceans temperature by just a few degrees, and how that can raise the intensity of a storm by two or three classes... I mean, if you think about it all together, one might come to the conclusion that we're doomed. Whats more, we've brought it all upon ourselves.
sometimes i panic, when i'm driving down the highway... running madly from place to place in my busy life. often a sad event like a dead animal on the road, or an accident will provoke it, or sometimes it's just the sinking needle on the fuel gauge. Often the rush of emotions that follow verbalize themselves as "I'm a monster" or "we are monsters" (we being the human race as a whole.) and while the human mind, heart, and subconcious are my passion and my chosen field of study... i really hate us as a species.
Thinking also about connectedness in relation to the self... physical, mental, emotional? How does birth trauma effect the rest of our lives? how crucial are the first few moments in this world, breathing independent of our mothers? how interwoven and delicate are those first bonds, those first associations, those first primal beliefs?
anyway, it's late, and though i don't feel it i know i am exhausted.
michael's coming to visit me on friday. i'm way excited.