Rotten Ghostly Children
This isn't depressing, it's pensive.
I imagine feeling sick for the rest of my life.
An endless stomach ache of not being loved enough. That's what stomach aches are, after all...
fucking screwed to a wall between childhood and adulthood, between two men that i love, between the day and the night, my needs and my fears, my friends and myself.
somehow when things are rough, i always think back to this one time when i was little... i did something that made my dad mad and he yelled at me. He sent me to my room, and i sat there crying for a long time. after a while he came up and hugged me to him. "will you forgive me?" he asked. I nodded tearfully. I could never refuse anyone forgiveness, especially not him. He never asks for my forgiveness anymore.
I think he's now forgotten that forgiving is more important then the fighting or the being right or wrong.
this morning i sat on the porch and the air felt haunted. somewhere just beyond the treeline i heard the laughter of children, but saw none. the voices bounced around the valley, surrounding everything. such an alien sound in this quiet place... when they appeared in the field, a little boy and girl, i thought they looked like ghosts. i wanted them to leave.
I imagine feeling sick for the rest of my life.
An endless stomach ache of not being loved enough. That's what stomach aches are, after all...
fucking screwed to a wall between childhood and adulthood, between two men that i love, between the day and the night, my needs and my fears, my friends and myself.
somehow when things are rough, i always think back to this one time when i was little... i did something that made my dad mad and he yelled at me. He sent me to my room, and i sat there crying for a long time. after a while he came up and hugged me to him. "will you forgive me?" he asked. I nodded tearfully. I could never refuse anyone forgiveness, especially not him. He never asks for my forgiveness anymore.
I think he's now forgotten that forgiving is more important then the fighting or the being right or wrong.
this morning i sat on the porch and the air felt haunted. somewhere just beyond the treeline i heard the laughter of children, but saw none. the voices bounced around the valley, surrounding everything. such an alien sound in this quiet place... when they appeared in the field, a little boy and girl, i thought they looked like ghosts. i wanted them to leave.