AHAHAHAHAHAHAH
I JUST WENT TO THE DMV AND IT WAS GREAT! IT TOTALLY ROCKED, AND MY NEW LISENCE IS SO BEAUTIFUL I ALMOST DIED! I DROVE HOME IN ECSTASY, ZOOMING THROUGH AS MANY PUDDLES AS MY LITTLE CAR COULD REASONABLY HIT, AND EVEN STOPPED TO SAVE A TURTLE ON THE ROAD! IT WAS THE COOLEST ASS DAMN TURTLE MY ASS HAS EVER SEEN. FUCKING ORANGE! AN ORANGE FUCKING ASS TURTLE!
I GOT HOME AND PROUDLY EXHIBITED MY LOVELY NEW DRIVERS LISENCE, PRINTED VERTICALLY INSTEAD OF HORIZONTALLY, WITH THE PHOTO THAT LOOKS LIKE MERRY FOGG, TO MY UNASSUMING DAD. HE IS BORING AND WE'VE BEEN FIGHTING, SO HE DIDN'T APPRECIATE IT AS MUCH AS HE SHOULD HAVE. BUT I THINK SECRETLY HE WAS JUST DEPRESSED HE HADN'T GOTTEN HIS WALLET STOLEN ON THE 64 BUS IN ROME SO HE TOO COULD GO TO THE DMV AND GET A BRAND NEW PHOTO LISENCE FOR HIMSELF.
I'M SERIOUSLY THINKING OF GOING CRAZY SOON. I MEAN, MY GOD, I'M 19, IT'S SUMMER, I HAVE A HOT CAR, SAW A FUCKING SWEET ORANGE TURTLE TODAY, I'M BASICALLY IN LOVE, AND I'M SITTING AROUND IN A PUDDLE WONDERING WHY I CAME HOME FROM ITALY. WHAT A SLEAZY LAZY STUPID ASS THING TO DO! I MEAN, I CAN'T LET OTHER PEOPLE ROCK MORE THEN I DO. HEIDI! DUCK!
SO I FEEL LIKE RAISING HELL. MAKING A SCENE. BEING SHOCKING. TELLING MY FUCKING DAD TO GET OVER HIS JEALOUSEY OVER NOT GETTING AS GOOD A DRIVERS LISENCE AS ME, AND JUST BE A BIT NICER FOR ONCE. TELLING THAT FUCKING UNASSERTIVE NEUTRAL BOY THAT I'M CRAZY ABOUT HIM, FUCKING FINISHING ALL THE SHIT I STARTED, BEING HONEST AND OBNOXIOUS AND IN YO' FACE AND UNTRADITIONAL AND UNCONVENTIONAL AND NOT GIVING A SHIT IF NICK KRUSE CAN WRESTLE AND I CAN'T BUT LEARNING HOW TO WRESTLE PROPERLY ANYWAY. HEIDI WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?
I MEAN, WHAT REALLY SUCKS IS THAT THERE IS NO ONE AROUND WHO I AM MATCHED WITH FOR PHYSICAL STRENGTH AND AGRESSION. I NEED SOMEONE TO BE THICK SKULLED AND MACHO WITH, WHO'S NOT KEITH (WHO COULD MASH ME INTO A PULP) AND NOT KARINA (WHO I COULD MASH INTO A PULP) AND WORSE YET, THE FUCKING RUGBY SEASON IS FUCKING OVER. OR ALMOST SO. AND I AM NOT ALLOWED TO PLAY BOYS LACROSSE.
LIFE'S NOT FAIR!
THE WEATHER IS SLIGHTLY AGRESSIVE, HOWEVER, DAILY SUMMER STORMS, AND ALL. IT'S DEFINATELY MY FAVORITE TIME OF DAY.
I'M THINKING OF GOING TO MASSAGE SCHOOL. I DON'T REALLY WANT TO GO TO REGULAR COLLEGE JUST YET. EVERYONE DOES THAT, AND THAT'S REASON ENOUGH FOR ME NOT TO. I HAVE TO KEEP REMINDING MYSELF THAT I ENJOY MY ECCENTRIC LIFESTYLE AND ITS WHAT I'VE CHOSEN, FOR SOEM VERY WELL THOUGHT OUT REASONS, MAINLY BEING THAT I'M CONTRARY AND WHEN EVERYONE GOES RIGHT I GO LEFT. USUALLY EVERYONE WENT RIGHT BECAUSE THERE'S A DITCH ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROAD, BUT HEY, I LIKE MUD AND SCUM, AND MUDWRESTLING IS JUST ABOUT MY FAVORITE SPORT EVER. PROBLEM IS, LATELY I'VE BEEN LEFT MUDWRESTLING WITH MYSELF. NOT SO MUCH FUN, REALLY, AS IT TURNS OUT.
AND TODAY I FUCKING SAW A FUCKING ORANGE ASSED TURTLE.
I GOT HOME AND PROUDLY EXHIBITED MY LOVELY NEW DRIVERS LISENCE, PRINTED VERTICALLY INSTEAD OF HORIZONTALLY, WITH THE PHOTO THAT LOOKS LIKE MERRY FOGG, TO MY UNASSUMING DAD. HE IS BORING AND WE'VE BEEN FIGHTING, SO HE DIDN'T APPRECIATE IT AS MUCH AS HE SHOULD HAVE. BUT I THINK SECRETLY HE WAS JUST DEPRESSED HE HADN'T GOTTEN HIS WALLET STOLEN ON THE 64 BUS IN ROME SO HE TOO COULD GO TO THE DMV AND GET A BRAND NEW PHOTO LISENCE FOR HIMSELF.
I'M SERIOUSLY THINKING OF GOING CRAZY SOON. I MEAN, MY GOD, I'M 19, IT'S SUMMER, I HAVE A HOT CAR, SAW A FUCKING SWEET ORANGE TURTLE TODAY, I'M BASICALLY IN LOVE, AND I'M SITTING AROUND IN A PUDDLE WONDERING WHY I CAME HOME FROM ITALY. WHAT A SLEAZY LAZY STUPID ASS THING TO DO! I MEAN, I CAN'T LET OTHER PEOPLE ROCK MORE THEN I DO. HEIDI! DUCK!
SO I FEEL LIKE RAISING HELL. MAKING A SCENE. BEING SHOCKING. TELLING MY FUCKING DAD TO GET OVER HIS JEALOUSEY OVER NOT GETTING AS GOOD A DRIVERS LISENCE AS ME, AND JUST BE A BIT NICER FOR ONCE. TELLING THAT FUCKING UNASSERTIVE NEUTRAL BOY THAT I'M CRAZY ABOUT HIM, FUCKING FINISHING ALL THE SHIT I STARTED, BEING HONEST AND OBNOXIOUS AND IN YO' FACE AND UNTRADITIONAL AND UNCONVENTIONAL AND NOT GIVING A SHIT IF NICK KRUSE CAN WRESTLE AND I CAN'T BUT LEARNING HOW TO WRESTLE PROPERLY ANYWAY. HEIDI WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?
I MEAN, WHAT REALLY SUCKS IS THAT THERE IS NO ONE AROUND WHO I AM MATCHED WITH FOR PHYSICAL STRENGTH AND AGRESSION. I NEED SOMEONE TO BE THICK SKULLED AND MACHO WITH, WHO'S NOT KEITH (WHO COULD MASH ME INTO A PULP) AND NOT KARINA (WHO I COULD MASH INTO A PULP) AND WORSE YET, THE FUCKING RUGBY SEASON IS FUCKING OVER. OR ALMOST SO. AND I AM NOT ALLOWED TO PLAY BOYS LACROSSE.
LIFE'S NOT FAIR!
THE WEATHER IS SLIGHTLY AGRESSIVE, HOWEVER, DAILY SUMMER STORMS, AND ALL. IT'S DEFINATELY MY FAVORITE TIME OF DAY.
I'M THINKING OF GOING TO MASSAGE SCHOOL. I DON'T REALLY WANT TO GO TO REGULAR COLLEGE JUST YET. EVERYONE DOES THAT, AND THAT'S REASON ENOUGH FOR ME NOT TO. I HAVE TO KEEP REMINDING MYSELF THAT I ENJOY MY ECCENTRIC LIFESTYLE AND ITS WHAT I'VE CHOSEN, FOR SOEM VERY WELL THOUGHT OUT REASONS, MAINLY BEING THAT I'M CONTRARY AND WHEN EVERYONE GOES RIGHT I GO LEFT. USUALLY EVERYONE WENT RIGHT BECAUSE THERE'S A DITCH ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROAD, BUT HEY, I LIKE MUD AND SCUM, AND MUDWRESTLING IS JUST ABOUT MY FAVORITE SPORT EVER. PROBLEM IS, LATELY I'VE BEEN LEFT MUDWRESTLING WITH MYSELF. NOT SO MUCH FUN, REALLY, AS IT TURNS OUT.
AND TODAY I FUCKING SAW A FUCKING ORANGE ASSED TURTLE.