I Wish to Register a Vituperation
In The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, Sting plays a bit part as a heroic soldier who crosses enemy lines, kills some number of soldiers, throws the enemy into disarray and returns. He is then arrested and executed for setting an example that the common soldier can not hope to match.
Where am I going with this, you may ask? I eat a lot of frozen dinners for lunch at work. My favorite brand is by far Marie Callender's. And my favorite of that brand by far is the chicken and broccoli alfredo. Until today.
Last week, Flynn (a coworker whom many of you know), offered me his entire supply of chicken & broccoli alfredo dinners (4), saying that they'd changed the recipe and he no longer cared for them. I love these things, so I happily accepted. Today at lunch, I decided to have one. I noticed as soon as I'd opened the package that things were different. Instead of the usual two pouches, there was now a single sealed tray. Skeptical, I followed the directions.
To say I was disappointed is like saying that a nuclear explosion is a little bright. The chicken was tough and stringy, the broccoli was yellow, the sauce was little more than flavored water. Wondering if (hoping) this was an anomaly, I described my experience to Flynn, who just kept nodding through my description.
We can only conclude that the previous, wonderful incarnation of this frozen dinner set a standard so high that no other frozen dinner could hope to match it, so this one had to be killed. And animated as a zombie to walk the earth forever.
I left Flynn's desk muttering something about Rat Tart (for you Monty Python fans out there). Disgusting.
Where am I going with this, you may ask? I eat a lot of frozen dinners for lunch at work. My favorite brand is by far Marie Callender's. And my favorite of that brand by far is the chicken and broccoli alfredo. Until today.
Last week, Flynn (a coworker whom many of you know), offered me his entire supply of chicken & broccoli alfredo dinners (4), saying that they'd changed the recipe and he no longer cared for them. I love these things, so I happily accepted. Today at lunch, I decided to have one. I noticed as soon as I'd opened the package that things were different. Instead of the usual two pouches, there was now a single sealed tray. Skeptical, I followed the directions.
To say I was disappointed is like saying that a nuclear explosion is a little bright. The chicken was tough and stringy, the broccoli was yellow, the sauce was little more than flavored water. Wondering if (hoping) this was an anomaly, I described my experience to Flynn, who just kept nodding through my description.
We can only conclude that the previous, wonderful incarnation of this frozen dinner set a standard so high that no other frozen dinner could hope to match it, so this one had to be killed. And animated as a zombie to walk the earth forever.
I left Flynn's desk muttering something about Rat Tart (for you Monty Python fans out there). Disgusting.