The happenings and my thoughts..
Im back in Sydney. Very glad to be back where things are normal and familiar. Where its easier to just go where i want and do what i want.
Kinnear... what am i goin to do there.
and work and money and car and study .....
I feel soo rushed and overwhelmed and its my second day back.
I miss Kinnear soo much, and all i want is to be with him.
But i cant allow myself that. The trust is gone as well as the faith that i used to have in everything being good. The seed of doubt has been planted.
He needs to work hard if he really wants us to be together and i dont think he will or even knows how to do that.
But i can not give in and make everything happy for the sake of my feelings and happiness at the present.
The issues need to be fixed and HE needs to chase and work at it.
Im tired.
This is very upsetting.
My throat aches and burns with the tears that i wont allow to fall. I am stuck and in pain. It feels though the days pass in seconds and years as one. So fast and yet so draggingly slow. I have not the energy or the strength. I am weak of heart and will.
Kinnear... what am i goin to do there.
and work and money and car and study .....
I feel soo rushed and overwhelmed and its my second day back.
I miss Kinnear soo much, and all i want is to be with him.
But i cant allow myself that. The trust is gone as well as the faith that i used to have in everything being good. The seed of doubt has been planted.
He needs to work hard if he really wants us to be together and i dont think he will or even knows how to do that.
But i can not give in and make everything happy for the sake of my feelings and happiness at the present.
The issues need to be fixed and HE needs to chase and work at it.
Im tired.
This is very upsetting.
My throat aches and burns with the tears that i wont allow to fall. I am stuck and in pain. It feels though the days pass in seconds and years as one. So fast and yet so draggingly slow. I have not the energy or the strength. I am weak of heart and will.