you swoop so low, you come and you go
man, I totally have things i should be posting about, but i've just been enjoying reading all of your posts. i had an old friend over for dinner on friday. he's getting his phd at princeton. we grew up down the street from one another. he's a neuroscientist and a poet, and i adore him for his lifelong devotion to oddness. he slides from the cerebral to the metaphorical in the space of single sentences, and we carry on great conversations with one another, always have.
so, on friday we started talking about a theory that he has. he believes that our greatest strengths, the things we should be deeply proud of in ourselves, are also tied to our greatest weaknesses. and it was so horrible as he was saying this, because i couldn't for the life of me even think of any strength of mine that could even be considered "great." isn't that horrible? i listened to him talking about what he thought his was, and i turned to nikki, our other dinner companion, and knew right away what hers was and talked about how her deep compassion often caused her to have panic attacks and breakdowns simply because she can feel other people's feelings so intensely as her own. we talked a little more. and i finally said, "god, you know, with everything i've been thinking and feeling lately, i feel like i'm so deeply re-evaluating myself and all of my characteristics... i don't even think i could come up with my greatest strength." i felt a little panicked by this as i was saying it... like, what does this say about me? where am i really?
and then he kind of smiled and said, "well, i know we aren't as close now as we have been in years past, but i really think your greatest strength is the way in which you see the world as a beautiful place. and you're able to see every moment as a beautiful moment, or you're able to see the beauty in everything in a very different way than most people." i thought about that, and he continued, "what that means, though, is that you build beautiful stories and suppositions about things and you fall in love with everything such that you hit a wall when you realize that these beautiful creations are not always real."
jaw to the floor.
and he's right. and what he said was, "do i want to change myself or do away with my strength simply because it causes me pain in certain situations? no, never. i am the person i am because of this great thing, and ultimately it's all about balancing the strength and weakness on a day-to-day basis."
think about it. what is your greatest strength and how does it link to your greatest weakness? or, after a while, i found that it was easier to think about my biggest weaknesses and then link them to something good in me.
so, on friday we started talking about a theory that he has. he believes that our greatest strengths, the things we should be deeply proud of in ourselves, are also tied to our greatest weaknesses. and it was so horrible as he was saying this, because i couldn't for the life of me even think of any strength of mine that could even be considered "great." isn't that horrible? i listened to him talking about what he thought his was, and i turned to nikki, our other dinner companion, and knew right away what hers was and talked about how her deep compassion often caused her to have panic attacks and breakdowns simply because she can feel other people's feelings so intensely as her own. we talked a little more. and i finally said, "god, you know, with everything i've been thinking and feeling lately, i feel like i'm so deeply re-evaluating myself and all of my characteristics... i don't even think i could come up with my greatest strength." i felt a little panicked by this as i was saying it... like, what does this say about me? where am i really?
and then he kind of smiled and said, "well, i know we aren't as close now as we have been in years past, but i really think your greatest strength is the way in which you see the world as a beautiful place. and you're able to see every moment as a beautiful moment, or you're able to see the beauty in everything in a very different way than most people." i thought about that, and he continued, "what that means, though, is that you build beautiful stories and suppositions about things and you fall in love with everything such that you hit a wall when you realize that these beautiful creations are not always real."
jaw to the floor.
and he's right. and what he said was, "do i want to change myself or do away with my strength simply because it causes me pain in certain situations? no, never. i am the person i am because of this great thing, and ultimately it's all about balancing the strength and weakness on a day-to-day basis."
think about it. what is your greatest strength and how does it link to your greatest weakness? or, after a while, i found that it was easier to think about my biggest weaknesses and then link them to something good in me.