(no subject)
I've been inexcusably absent! So, let's do a List, shall we?
This is a List of Recent Dirty-ish Things I've heard (either in person or on TV/in movies, etc) or Recent Overshares
Note: I am not putting in who said what... in order to protect the ridiculous. This is some funny shit, at least to me.
**Upon seeing a guy walking with a little girl on his shoulders, "Awwww, now that's the sort of thing that makes me want a baby-daddy."
**"I can't contain myself around boys in the dirt. Seriously. If I see dreadlocks in the vegetable patch, I have to, like, physically restrain myself from humping the legs that belong to those dreadlocks."
**"I'm glad to see that you've discovered the little-known truth that slightly-defective girls are the way to go. I once dated a girl who had one tiny arm. Crazy in the sack. Plus, when she grabbed my dick with her little baby hand, I looked gigantic."
**"George, am I photocopying a penis?"
"What? Oh, yeah, I couldn't bring that to Staples. I'm putting together a collaged book of self-portrait work. Y'know, bits and snatches from my past, or whatever."
"Snatches From My Past????!! Is that gonna be the title??!!"
[hysteria ensues]
**"Ash?"
"Mmm?"
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Yeah, 'course."
"Ok. Would you, at 25, ever consider dating a man like me, you know, who's 74?"
**"So, my husband thinks you're just about the cutest thing ever. Well, besides me, of course."
**"I'm ready to fuck anything that moves.... nah... actually, it doesn't even have to be moving, really. I'm ready to fuck anything with live brain cells."
It's been an intense week. Lunar eclipse on Thursday done drove them all mad.
This is a List of Recent Dirty-ish Things I've heard (either in person or on TV/in movies, etc) or Recent Overshares
Note: I am not putting in who said what... in order to protect the ridiculous. This is some funny shit, at least to me.
**Upon seeing a guy walking with a little girl on his shoulders, "Awwww, now that's the sort of thing that makes me want a baby-daddy."
**"I can't contain myself around boys in the dirt. Seriously. If I see dreadlocks in the vegetable patch, I have to, like, physically restrain myself from humping the legs that belong to those dreadlocks."
**"I'm glad to see that you've discovered the little-known truth that slightly-defective girls are the way to go. I once dated a girl who had one tiny arm. Crazy in the sack. Plus, when she grabbed my dick with her little baby hand, I looked gigantic."
**"George, am I photocopying a penis?"
"What? Oh, yeah, I couldn't bring that to Staples. I'm putting together a collaged book of self-portrait work. Y'know, bits and snatches from my past, or whatever."
"Snatches From My Past????!! Is that gonna be the title??!!"
[hysteria ensues]
**"Ash?"
"Mmm?"
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Yeah, 'course."
"Ok. Would you, at 25, ever consider dating a man like me, you know, who's 74?"
**"So, my husband thinks you're just about the cutest thing ever. Well, besides me, of course."
**"I'm ready to fuck anything that moves.... nah... actually, it doesn't even have to be moving, really. I'm ready to fuck anything with live brain cells."
It's been an intense week. Lunar eclipse on Thursday done drove them all mad.