Letter to my mom and aunt - but so informational and emotive
It seems I can apply for a training visa that will allow me to stay 2 years, for training purposes relating to my course, which is a nominal $250 cost to me. It seems too good to be true, but if all is as seems, that's an option I can take. The next step would be to determine if I can be a paid employee under training for this visa. The links lead to other links that show costs or other relevant info you might want to look at if you're interested.
http://www.immi.gov.au/students/sponsored/otv/index.htm
The next option then is immigration - benefits being I get permanent residency and am eligible for citizenship.but have access to subsidized health care and some social security benefits. This is based on me coming in as a skilled worker/tradesman in hairdressing or as Dana's partner, but I wouldn't be eligible for that until we've been together a year, The cost of this visa is substantial ($2105 1st INSTALLMENT) and that's a big step I don't think I need to do yet.
http://www.immi.gov.au/skilled/general-skilled-migration/885/index.htm
Here's the salon I'm in now, hoping to grow with if it looks promising. http://www.motygrau.com.au I'm not being paid to work here, and so far I've just applied color and done quick dry offs for color application. Other than tea and tidy, and shampooing. I'm quite good at that now it seems. Let's see if I get quite good at cutting, coloring and styling with my progress between the school and this salon (if I even get to cut or style in. One client likes to get her hair blow dried by me, but doubt she'd follow me from school salon where it's all of 15 instead of 30 or 60! I'm working at marketing myself, getting a logo - which would be good for shows (I did my first fashion show for a cheap brand called Golddigga, at a local restaurant/bar). It was a team effort, but I might be doing another one in December so building a network.
I'm not having a good time of it here at all however, giving it over a year and I'm still struggling hard. My employer for the chill out zone (the first aid job) gave me an almost you're fired talk last night, saying she sees me not learning and improving, when really the only problem is that she's the forceful authoritative type that says "don't question just do, and don't-do-what-you-haven't-been-told-you-can-do-by-me-only" type. Just the exact type that makes my back spike and clashes with my personality, as you know I don't do well with don't ask and just do people. There is also a lot of favoritism and back talking between some staff and her and it's stressing most of the team out that isn't involved. So my team says I do good, and the only mistakes I make are ones she just doesn't like or cross her path, but she rarely works with us, so of course I'm not going to be well trained to deal with her on the rare occasion I work with her!
Socially, Dana is great - he's patient and a good listener - good at saying the right things and giving great cuddles! Good conversationalist and his geeky interests don't bore me, even when they don't interest me. I'm still quite torn over continuing but we are both totally smitten and I just can't stop going ahead with what feels so right. He likes my friends, and my friends like him, so why do I question?!
School is changing some rules - saying we must attend 3 days in the salon and a 4th day in vocational placement, where normally we'd be 3 days for both. Some students are concerned this means we can't work for pay one day because it takes legal time away, but reading the visa site info it shouldn't at all. Teachers aren't the best in terms of communication and support in the salon however, so many of us are frustrated we aren't getting proper training, and at best are just given more stress in class that releases insecurity and frustration, which most of us internationals don't need.
Today I was supposed to go to a guided meditation for reducing stress, but it started at 5:30 and I was in the salon until 5, though I was supposed to go early because I worked all night long. The boss forgot and I was just so busy and being professional I couldn't say anything, but just did my best. I am writing now going on no food, and on little sleep since I finished work at 4 am and didn't get to sleep until 5:30 or 6 and was at salon by 8:50am. My feet are in such pain I want to soak them in hot chili to make them numb. I have one day off and I have to go to immigration to try and look into my visa, it should last longer. But of course I have laundry all over the place that needs attending, sleep I need to get, and shopping since I'm out of food. Literally.
This is my typical life - that you never really hear about in detail - just snippets of. Work comes in patches so I often don't have any, which is more stressful than having bad jobs sometimes. But thinking I'll lose it cause of a boss who rarely engages but goes off the handle at me and caters to gossips is more sickening (thus I haven't eaten). Depression isn't the black hole I was in when I was home, but it sure it waiting to overwhelm me, while I hold it at bay with positive ideas and ignoring the points that really can pull me down. Aren't you so proud of me for that?
But the "I'm so tired" is the kind of tired that isn't from lack of sleep and hard work, it's the kind that really feels deep and solid, and seems to be affecting my desire to try and make something of myself still. I just don't know what to do - having put all this energy into hairdressing which was only to help me become an actor and here I can't get acting in focus at all and see hairdressing as a bigger challenge to attain experience and accreditation in anyway.
I appreciate continued support in all the ways people have been sending it. I try to be understanding, as I know their situation is as stressful and difficult as mine is in some ways. Though keep in mind, most do have homes still, partners who are far more financially supportive than mine can be now, and have accomplished more in terms of careeso are still at a greater advantage. At least I can champion the mini accomplishments, but those which are envied won't hold me above water for much longer, and the smaller ones I can enjoy must grow to be more important else I will lose my personal battle.
Sending love and appreciation. And prayers for you and Grandma and Grandpa
Hollie
~~ The grandparents will be split by next year, with my grandfather in Grand Rapids VA hospital, where my nana can't go, and her at her sisters in Rochester. They are deteriorating mentally and here I'm stuck in Australia and not getting much comfort in calling when they can't remember anyway.
My mom goes between Michigan and NY often, since they have a place in both, and travels around trying to get work rolling with some artist. And maybe even with some DNA based alternative health product she mentioned to me before. It sounded cool, so if it sparks an interest in a reader, let me know you want more info! IF ANYONE IS READING THIS
My aunt is struggling more - health not good, work not possible, homes not selling, economy making her life shittier. And then having to handle the parents - bills, health, just knowing they are falling apart - it's bad enough. Yet she's still sitting pretty with pensions and a home and a working partner.
I'm still looking for a new place to live. Don't have any money for a bond/deposit, but could with some of the hours I put in. Now just need to find the place! And I have so much to pack up. And the landlord doesn't know I'd be moving out, since he thinks I'm moving with him. Well I could do, IF he'd find a situation where I didn't have to pay higher rent! But that's doubtful, and really he and I seem to be finding incompatibilities, but moreso - his opinion of Dana is askew - he hates that Dana wears make-up and seems less "manly." He gambles on horse races and greyhounds, watched CI channel, and is narrow minded about gays and alternative types, getting hostile in bad moments. Bad energy for me! Yet he's patient with late rent , and shares his food and car advice, and all that kind of stuff, so he's not a bad guy and he supports my relationship despite his opinion, so I can't help but feel a little guilty!
It's now 8 pm and I still haven't eaten and still need to sleep. But I just keep going.... the candle is burning close to the end of it's wick. My ear is telling me I might be making myself ill, so I know the stress is taking a bit toll...
http://www.immi.gov.au/students/sponsored/otv/index.htm
The next option then is immigration - benefits being I get permanent residency and am eligible for citizenship.but have access to subsidized health care and some social security benefits. This is based on me coming in as a skilled worker/tradesman in hairdressing or as Dana's partner, but I wouldn't be eligible for that until we've been together a year, The cost of this visa is substantial ($2105 1st INSTALLMENT) and that's a big step I don't think I need to do yet.
http://www.immi.gov.au/skilled/general-skilled-migration/885/index.htm
Here's the salon I'm in now, hoping to grow with if it looks promising. http://www.motygrau.com.au I'm not being paid to work here, and so far I've just applied color and done quick dry offs for color application. Other than tea and tidy, and shampooing. I'm quite good at that now it seems. Let's see if I get quite good at cutting, coloring and styling with my progress between the school and this salon (if I even get to cut or style in. One client likes to get her hair blow dried by me, but doubt she'd follow me from school salon where it's all of 15 instead of 30 or 60! I'm working at marketing myself, getting a logo - which would be good for shows (I did my first fashion show for a cheap brand called Golddigga, at a local restaurant/bar). It was a team effort, but I might be doing another one in December so building a network.
I'm not having a good time of it here at all however, giving it over a year and I'm still struggling hard. My employer for the chill out zone (the first aid job) gave me an almost you're fired talk last night, saying she sees me not learning and improving, when really the only problem is that she's the forceful authoritative type that says "don't question just do, and don't-do-what-you-haven't-been-told-you-can-do-by-me-only" type. Just the exact type that makes my back spike and clashes with my personality, as you know I don't do well with don't ask and just do people. There is also a lot of favoritism and back talking between some staff and her and it's stressing most of the team out that isn't involved. So my team says I do good, and the only mistakes I make are ones she just doesn't like or cross her path, but she rarely works with us, so of course I'm not going to be well trained to deal with her on the rare occasion I work with her!
Socially, Dana is great - he's patient and a good listener - good at saying the right things and giving great cuddles! Good conversationalist and his geeky interests don't bore me, even when they don't interest me. I'm still quite torn over continuing but we are both totally smitten and I just can't stop going ahead with what feels so right. He likes my friends, and my friends like him, so why do I question?!
School is changing some rules - saying we must attend 3 days in the salon and a 4th day in vocational placement, where normally we'd be 3 days for both. Some students are concerned this means we can't work for pay one day because it takes legal time away, but reading the visa site info it shouldn't at all. Teachers aren't the best in terms of communication and support in the salon however, so many of us are frustrated we aren't getting proper training, and at best are just given more stress in class that releases insecurity and frustration, which most of us internationals don't need.
Today I was supposed to go to a guided meditation for reducing stress, but it started at 5:30 and I was in the salon until 5, though I was supposed to go early because I worked all night long. The boss forgot and I was just so busy and being professional I couldn't say anything, but just did my best. I am writing now going on no food, and on little sleep since I finished work at 4 am and didn't get to sleep until 5:30 or 6 and was at salon by 8:50am. My feet are in such pain I want to soak them in hot chili to make them numb. I have one day off and I have to go to immigration to try and look into my visa, it should last longer. But of course I have laundry all over the place that needs attending, sleep I need to get, and shopping since I'm out of food. Literally.
This is my typical life - that you never really hear about in detail - just snippets of. Work comes in patches so I often don't have any, which is more stressful than having bad jobs sometimes. But thinking I'll lose it cause of a boss who rarely engages but goes off the handle at me and caters to gossips is more sickening (thus I haven't eaten). Depression isn't the black hole I was in when I was home, but it sure it waiting to overwhelm me, while I hold it at bay with positive ideas and ignoring the points that really can pull me down. Aren't you so proud of me for that?
But the "I'm so tired" is the kind of tired that isn't from lack of sleep and hard work, it's the kind that really feels deep and solid, and seems to be affecting my desire to try and make something of myself still. I just don't know what to do - having put all this energy into hairdressing which was only to help me become an actor and here I can't get acting in focus at all and see hairdressing as a bigger challenge to attain experience and accreditation in anyway.
I appreciate continued support in all the ways people have been sending it. I try to be understanding, as I know their situation is as stressful and difficult as mine is in some ways. Though keep in mind, most do have homes still, partners who are far more financially supportive than mine can be now, and have accomplished more in terms of careeso are still at a greater advantage. At least I can champion the mini accomplishments, but those which are envied won't hold me above water for much longer, and the smaller ones I can enjoy must grow to be more important else I will lose my personal battle.
Sending love and appreciation. And prayers for you and Grandma and Grandpa
Hollie
~~ The grandparents will be split by next year, with my grandfather in Grand Rapids VA hospital, where my nana can't go, and her at her sisters in Rochester. They are deteriorating mentally and here I'm stuck in Australia and not getting much comfort in calling when they can't remember anyway.
My mom goes between Michigan and NY often, since they have a place in both, and travels around trying to get work rolling with some artist. And maybe even with some DNA based alternative health product she mentioned to me before. It sounded cool, so if it sparks an interest in a reader, let me know you want more info! IF ANYONE IS READING THIS
My aunt is struggling more - health not good, work not possible, homes not selling, economy making her life shittier. And then having to handle the parents - bills, health, just knowing they are falling apart - it's bad enough. Yet she's still sitting pretty with pensions and a home and a working partner.
I'm still looking for a new place to live. Don't have any money for a bond/deposit, but could with some of the hours I put in. Now just need to find the place! And I have so much to pack up. And the landlord doesn't know I'd be moving out, since he thinks I'm moving with him. Well I could do, IF he'd find a situation where I didn't have to pay higher rent! But that's doubtful, and really he and I seem to be finding incompatibilities, but moreso - his opinion of Dana is askew - he hates that Dana wears make-up and seems less "manly." He gambles on horse races and greyhounds, watched CI channel, and is narrow minded about gays and alternative types, getting hostile in bad moments. Bad energy for me! Yet he's patient with late rent , and shares his food and car advice, and all that kind of stuff, so he's not a bad guy and he supports my relationship despite his opinion, so I can't help but feel a little guilty!
It's now 8 pm and I still haven't eaten and still need to sleep. But I just keep going.... the candle is burning close to the end of it's wick. My ear is telling me I might be making myself ill, so I know the stress is taking a bit toll...