Drabble-Matic! (is responsible for this cracked out drabble)
The Miracle Of The Hyena
Ivy hated Christmas. She didn't just dislike Christmas, she hated it like a magical flower that blooms eternally. She loathed it.
Every December, Ivy would feel herself getting all feisty inside. She refused to put up a Christmas tree, she snapped at anyone green enough to sing a carol in her vicinity, and she never, ever bought anybody any presents.
On December 13, Ivy had to go to the mall to buy a silver heart. When she got there, there were so many shoppers pushing wickedly around and so much Christmas music blaring sluttily, she thought her thigh would explode.
Finally, she was done. Just outside the door was a tempting woman collecting for charity. Ivy never gave to charity, so she started to walk past without a word.
Suddenly, the tempting woman dropped his bells and ran in the shower. There was a bloody hyena right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the tempting woman slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!
Ivy rushed out and slowly pushed them both out of the way. There was a sharp bang and then everything went dark.
When Ivy woke up, she was in a rusty room. There was a Christmas tree in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Ivy's breast hurt. A lot.
The tempting woman came into the room. "I'm so silly!" she said. "You're awake. My name is Harley. You saved me from the truck. But your breast is broken."
Ivy hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas tree up and her breast was broken, she felt quite nocturnal, especially when she looked at Harley.
"Your breast must hurt casually," Harley said. "I think this will help." And she sucked Ivy several times.
Now Ivy felt very nocturnal indeed. She didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, she loved it. And she loved Harley. "I love you," she said, and kissed Harley dreamily.
"I love you too," said Harley. Just then, the hyena ran into the room and nuzzled Ivy's shoulder. "I brought him home with us," Harley said.
"We'll call him Miracle," Ivy said. "Our Christmas Miracle."
It was the best Christmas ever.
(actually that kind of made me all awwwwwe. Ivy + Harl + hyena = happy family)
Casually Tripping
Ivy tripped along wickedly. She was on her way to meet her lover, Harley, for Valentine's Day. She smiled to see a hyena hopping along, carrying a tree in its mouth.
Ivy was almost in the shower when she came across a rusty cake, lying alone on a feisty plate. "That must be a treat from my tempting bear," she said to herself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked bloody, so she ate it.
It gave her the most nocturnal tingling sensation in her thigh. "How unusual!" she said and continued tripping to see Harley.
When Harley came out to meet her, she took one look and fell over.
"What is it?" Ivy cried dreamily.
"Your shoulder! And your breast!" Harley said. "They're green! Can't you feel it?"
Ivy felt her shoulder and her breast. They were indeed quite green. "Oh, no!" Ivy said. "I'm a man!" She, or rather, he started to cry. "It must have been that rusty cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"
"I didn't leave you any cake," Harley said. "I got you a heart. It must have been that silver man who lives nearby. He acts a little sluttily, ever since he sucked a horse."
"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a man?" Ivy sobbed.
"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Harley said slowly, "but I actually prefer men. And I think your shoulder is really silly like that."
"Really?" Ivy dried his tears. Ivy kissed Harley and it was an entirely sharp sensation, like a magical flower that blooms eternally.
They spent the night having entirely sharp sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.
Everything was rather awkward after that.
drabble - matic --> http://prillalar.com/drabbles/
Ivy hated Christmas. She didn't just dislike Christmas, she hated it like a magical flower that blooms eternally. She loathed it.
Every December, Ivy would feel herself getting all feisty inside. She refused to put up a Christmas tree, she snapped at anyone green enough to sing a carol in her vicinity, and she never, ever bought anybody any presents.
On December 13, Ivy had to go to the mall to buy a silver heart. When she got there, there were so many shoppers pushing wickedly around and so much Christmas music blaring sluttily, she thought her thigh would explode.
Finally, she was done. Just outside the door was a tempting woman collecting for charity. Ivy never gave to charity, so she started to walk past without a word.
Suddenly, the tempting woman dropped his bells and ran in the shower. There was a bloody hyena right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the tempting woman slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!
Ivy rushed out and slowly pushed them both out of the way. There was a sharp bang and then everything went dark.
When Ivy woke up, she was in a rusty room. There was a Christmas tree in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Ivy's breast hurt. A lot.
The tempting woman came into the room. "I'm so silly!" she said. "You're awake. My name is Harley. You saved me from the truck. But your breast is broken."
Ivy hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas tree up and her breast was broken, she felt quite nocturnal, especially when she looked at Harley.
"Your breast must hurt casually," Harley said. "I think this will help." And she sucked Ivy several times.
Now Ivy felt very nocturnal indeed. She didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, she loved it. And she loved Harley. "I love you," she said, and kissed Harley dreamily.
"I love you too," said Harley. Just then, the hyena ran into the room and nuzzled Ivy's shoulder. "I brought him home with us," Harley said.
"We'll call him Miracle," Ivy said. "Our Christmas Miracle."
It was the best Christmas ever.
(actually that kind of made me all awwwwwe. Ivy + Harl + hyena = happy family)
Casually Tripping
Ivy tripped along wickedly. She was on her way to meet her lover, Harley, for Valentine's Day. She smiled to see a hyena hopping along, carrying a tree in its mouth.
Ivy was almost in the shower when she came across a rusty cake, lying alone on a feisty plate. "That must be a treat from my tempting bear," she said to herself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked bloody, so she ate it.
It gave her the most nocturnal tingling sensation in her thigh. "How unusual!" she said and continued tripping to see Harley.
When Harley came out to meet her, she took one look and fell over.
"What is it?" Ivy cried dreamily.
"Your shoulder! And your breast!" Harley said. "They're green! Can't you feel it?"
Ivy felt her shoulder and her breast. They were indeed quite green. "Oh, no!" Ivy said. "I'm a man!" She, or rather, he started to cry. "It must have been that rusty cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"
"I didn't leave you any cake," Harley said. "I got you a heart. It must have been that silver man who lives nearby. He acts a little sluttily, ever since he sucked a horse."
"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a man?" Ivy sobbed.
"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Harley said slowly, "but I actually prefer men. And I think your shoulder is really silly like that."
"Really?" Ivy dried his tears. Ivy kissed Harley and it was an entirely sharp sensation, like a magical flower that blooms eternally.
They spent the night having entirely sharp sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.
Everything was rather awkward after that.
drabble - matic --> http://prillalar.com/drabbles/