Fic - Experimental Method. (PG, John/Sherlock)
In which experiments are carried out, a head is frozen and the question as to how is a Sherlock like a cat is resolved...
Experimental Method
Subject: John Watson
Experiment 1: Primary Deductions
Success rate: Within normal margins - 1 error: sister not brother.
Reaction: surprising - is impressed.
Conclusion: low-self-esteem? Therapist claims has trust issues. Doesn’t fit:- praise repeated in front of hostile audience. Easily impressed? - No, no, no, unimpressed by Mycroft. Inconclusive - more data needed.
Experiment 2: Mycroft’s gambit
Observations: M’s approach obvious and interfering. Could corrupt results - point this out to M when next see him.
Reaction: unimpressed (see above) and affronted
Conclusion: Signs of conventional moral compass - dull. If psychopath, good at it. Reaction to danger: more interesting - more data needed.
Experiment 3: Conversation
Observations: Compatible with conversational needs though unfocused (inevitable). Raises issue sexual history - why? Pauses before suggesting ‘boyfriend’.
Conclusion: Unobservant. Likes to think of himself as liberal but some internal homophobia - disapproval of sister? No, that was her drinking - think Sherlock. Emphasises unattached - more interesting. Latent bisexual tendencies, then. High degree internal resistance coupled to disapproval of sister - more plausible as secondary factor. Overly defensive when I state married to work. Inconclusive - more data needed.
Experiment 4: the shot
Observations: Deeply surprising. Moral compass not entirely conventional - good - but not psychopath unless was planning to shoot me too. Unlikely - had time to execute plan if desired.
Conclusion: Other motive. What? More data needed.
....
The body parts which Sherlock distributes around the flat are not so much experiments as a form of elaborate punctuation. He brings them home when he wants to initiate a row or divert attention from other disagreements. They offer an opportunity for conversation which is more concrete, predictable and controlled than the forms of argument that others seem to indulge in: labyrinths of subtext and messy emotional clues in which he feels at a disadvantage.
Either John does not notice his strategy or he does not mind. Sherlock suspects the latter: after all, he cannot believe that a doctor so experienced as John would believe that he was measuring the coagulation of saliva after death in a head that was patently frozen. No, John is not stupid and therefore they have a tacit if mildly surprising agreement that when words become inadequate, the morgue will provide. He has carefully considered the issue and is brutally honest about his motives.
He does not acknowledge the prickle of kinship. when he sees their neighbour’s cat proclaiming its prowess over the corpse of a dead mouse.
...
Experiment 5: Distractions
Observations: Disappointing. Why does he clutter up his time with work? And why oh why carry that clutter outside the clinic? ‘Going on a date’ when there is a case? Ridiculous! Intolerable! At least he is amenable to suggestion - although that, too, is obscurely irritating. DAMN.
....
Boredom is only half the trouble. Or, he grudgingly concedes, not the only trouble. Boredom, Sherlock finds he had hoped, would be less overwhelmingly, stiflingly dull now that John is around. They could conduct experiments in ballistics together, whip corpses and burgle Lestrade. But John is following Sarah round like a lovelorn puppy and is no fun. The whole thing is demeaning.
He shoots another hole in the wall.
....
Experiment 6: Demands
Observations: Obeys requests with only minimal protest. Dull. But utterly disproves lack of trust hypothesis: does not object to retrieving phone from my inner pocket. Also gets angry when I show I do not live up to his clearly delusional expectations.
Conclusion: He feels safe with me. Troubling - find myself loath to disappoint him, even in interests of science. Further research needed.
.....
When John steps out of the changing rooms, Sherlock feels a surge of perverse excitement. Perhaps John has surprised him after all? His experiments had not, after all, completely discounted the possibility that John has psychopathic tendencies.
It lasts for only a second. The coat is clearly too bulky and the inevitable conclusion not hard to reach. The tinge of disappointment is easily set aside in wake of a new revelation: he really does not want John to die. Not now, not - irrationally - ever. The ferocity of his sharp overwhelming rage surprises him. And when John grabs Moriarty and yells at Sherlock to run, he finds himself unable to do the logical thing. If they are going to die, it is going to be on Sherlock’s terms.
He has never found vulnerability appealing. Seeing John vulnerable makes him obscurely furious. Finding out that John is still fighting startles him into something...different. Although he cannot define the difference and now is really not the time for philosophical ruminations. He directs his ferocity into ripping off the bomb but immediately feels wrong-footed, uncertain as to what comes next. He hides his confusion by pacing, which does not calm him and makes the space between them feel acutely charged. Something strange and unscripted is happening and he needs time to analyse it. It is all very frustrating. John is slumped on the floor like an idiot and muttering something about being glad no-one saw. An observation which mirrors Sherlock’s own confusion about what, precisely, he is doing.
When Moriarty returns, he feels almost relieved: at least here is a tangible problem. And if it all goes wrong, he won’t have to think about this...muddle again. Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn. Activating the bomb is an easy decision: it is the only option which might give them a chance.
...
Sherlock awakes to find himself in a hospital. Mycroft is by the bed and although his lips are moving there are no words, only a strange buzzing sound. Sherlock tries to say “John” but can’t hear his own voice. Mycroft looks angry and scribbles something on a pad, finally holding up a sign saying, ‘you have burst your eardrums and have concussion’ - idiot. Surely that much was obvious? He tries again.
“John”
Mycroft looks exasperated. He scribbles for a moment and holds up a new sign which simply says ‘Alive’. Sherlock goes back to sleep.