(no subject)
What a year. 2003 was a year of many changes in my life. Some good. Some bad. Some I still don't know the full results of. I started the year 2003, a very different person. and I'm ending it forever changed. I will not be the same person I was at the start of last January. Last January I had a whole different set of friends. A whole different set of values. A whole other life. I had people a year ago that I never thought I would lose. Friends that threw out the word forever and faded into the shadows before the month of January was even done. I'd be a lair if I didn't say those people that I once held quite dear I missed. I do miss them. I miss laughing with them on AIM. Talking about the things we used to talk about. I miss having them there. I am reminded of them sometimes, and I smile. I smile at the memories of a friendship long gone. I do have a lot of memories. Some good and some bad, but the bad have drifted away. With time they have, and I only remember the good that was once there. I sometimes wonder if things had been different would we still be friends? I wonder that a lot, but you can't go back. You can't say what if? You can just live with the cards life has dealt you.
This year has brought much change. I went from not being in any type of relationship in almost seven years to having two. One that has ended, and one that is in the current beginning stages. I'm just letting things happen as they may. I never thought a year ago that I could feel so much for someone who's face I haven't seen up close. Who I've only spoken to on the phone. I do though. I know that in time it will be more. I'm patient. I can wait.
I have had many friends come and go over the past year. Maybe even the last few months, but I know I have some constants in my life that will hopefully never fade.
Patty, who has been there for for so long. I'm there for her, and she is there for me. We can be silly or serious, and we'll be there for each other for years to come. Sisters do that.
My babygirl, who I am starting this wonderful journey with. I love you so much. Your voice makes me happy. I look forward to spending this next year together with you.
Abby, who has been my friend for almost a year, and I hope we can get closer as time passes because I do cherish your friendship.
Jason, even though we haven't gotten to talk much as of late, I know you are still there. I cherish your friendship, and your trying to understand what I'm going through, even if you don't really get it.
There have been others that have come and gone. I'm saddened by some of those losses as well, but I wasn't friends with them long enough for them to leave a huge handprint on my heart. Better to lose them now than a year from now.
So .. for this 2003 ... I'm glad it is done. I'm looking forward to see what 2004 brings. I'm going to be the same person. I'm going to be here for my friends. I'm going to try and write more. I'm going to deal with this ever depressing home/family climate, and most of all I'll be okay. I know I will be.
This year has brought much change. I went from not being in any type of relationship in almost seven years to having two. One that has ended, and one that is in the current beginning stages. I'm just letting things happen as they may. I never thought a year ago that I could feel so much for someone who's face I haven't seen up close. Who I've only spoken to on the phone. I do though. I know that in time it will be more. I'm patient. I can wait.
I have had many friends come and go over the past year. Maybe even the last few months, but I know I have some constants in my life that will hopefully never fade.
Patty, who has been there for for so long. I'm there for her, and she is there for me. We can be silly or serious, and we'll be there for each other for years to come. Sisters do that.
My babygirl, who I am starting this wonderful journey with. I love you so much. Your voice makes me happy. I look forward to spending this next year together with you.
Abby, who has been my friend for almost a year, and I hope we can get closer as time passes because I do cherish your friendship.
Jason, even though we haven't gotten to talk much as of late, I know you are still there. I cherish your friendship, and your trying to understand what I'm going through, even if you don't really get it.
There have been others that have come and gone. I'm saddened by some of those losses as well, but I wasn't friends with them long enough for them to leave a huge handprint on my heart. Better to lose them now than a year from now.
So .. for this 2003 ... I'm glad it is done. I'm looking forward to see what 2004 brings. I'm going to be the same person. I'm going to be here for my friends. I'm going to try and write more. I'm going to deal with this ever depressing home/family climate, and most of all I'll be okay. I know I will be.