(no subject)
I can't belive it still hurts more than it did before , i have never been through anything like this, and i have been through a lot worse ,... it is just that this is the last in a long line of shit , and now the pity party is god damn complete , but there is no one left to join the party. - I have made a fool ofmyself chasing after you wanting you back , wanting you to love me , i can't do it anymore , and yet i can't stop - i keep telling myself , why are you putting yourself though this ,but the craxy thing about me , and i emphazise crzy , is that i can't stop , it is fucking restraining order time , i can'tcontrol myself anymore , i can't stop calling , i still want you to be my friend no matter what you do to hurt me , waht the fuck is wrong with me . God help me get over this , there is something wrong with me ... why do i let him hurt me and not get angry , why do i think somehow i deserveit , or that he didn't mean it , or that , i just can't stop , and i can't get angry at him , i think if i do then he will never love me again , i am sick.... what is wrong with me , why do i want his love so much , why ? My heart hurts so bad , and he can sooth it with one kind word which he refuses to give , i hate myself at this moment , truely.