(no subject)
God doesn't give you anything that you can't handle , my Mom used to say, she also used to say , that I would never be alone. She said that God managed to put people in her life right when she needed them - When her first husband died she had her mother , when her mother died she had my father , when my father died she had me. I wonder if she ever had a couple of weeks like I have had , I am sure that she had , i guess. I lost her , and clung to Rob , and her words, I knew that he was my "not alone" , and he probably was for that time. - and i really am thankful for that. now , i don't know - this is the first time since she has been gone , that I feel alone and scared. I can't sleep - and anyone who knows me knows that I can always sleep. - the Wellbutrin i think is working , which is the worse part - i would hate to see me with out it. Don't get me wrong , I am not whining , I do not have it that bad , i have good job , and good health for the most part. I have some pretty good friends , and Rob and his family is still in my life , in a lesser manner. - I know that people have it worse , i am not trying to think that I have it worse than anyone - there was just a time when I had it better - there was a time when I was loved. I did not take that time for granted- maybe because I always knew this time woudl come :( I have hope that , a time to love and be loved by a friend or even a mother type person will come again. I have hope , because of what my Mom told me - Hope but not patience. I really miss feeling loved. I'm really sad. deeply. I am lonely.