Oct 17, 2007 04:10
Rob finally moved out Saturday , it was a wierd day , his step dad came and helped , and we "fought" over letting each other have everything , that is , I wanted to give everything I own to him, and he wanted to give everything he owned to me - it was bitter sweet. I don't know why he is doing this , but a little relief has followed - the relief is , that I am not waiting on him to leave me anymore .. it is done he is gone, and once more , um , I hate to admit , it hasn't killed me , not yet at least. ... not that what I do could be considered living. .... I went to the doctor , and asked for a little help , she has prescribed wellbutrin , I hope it helps , because i want to live again. I wish there was a pill for being brave ... I know there is a drink lol , but I can't be drunk all of the time, at least , it is not advised. I am not sure brave is my problem , If I had a strong desire , I could be brave to achieve it , but I have a lack of desire for most anything.
I am thinking about going back to church ... eh ... yeah i just don't know - something has got to change , because I am going to blink my eyes , and be this woman Paulie I met once.