con pondering
So it looks like I won't be able to upload and sort my photos from the con until Sunday, as I have a dinner guest tonight and plans Friday night and Saturday. Most of my pics are not that different from everyone else's, though I did find a few hidden Snapely/potions treasures at Hogsmeade up my sleeve.
But while looking over pics today and yesterday, and chatting with mysduende about all the COSplaying, I recalled something I told her jokingly when I went to Portus two years ago - that it was filled with fat girls in short skirts (aka "my people"). And looking at the pics from this year, I am struck by just how much of a queer space is embodied by the HP con.
It's not Queer with a capital Q. Not political, not intellectual, not in-your-face making a point to change the world or shift your paradigm (which I'm all about too). Rather, it's instinctual, inner life come to life. This universal feeling of how hard it is to reenter the muggle world strikes at the core of a kind of identity all its own. That we have people who cross gender lines in COSplay, who use COSplay as a way to explore all manner of inner life, or tailoring and makeup skills, or because the wig just looked right, that some people COSplay specific characters who call to them, and others simply wear their own version of "how I'd look if I were wizarding" in this shared fantasy space is something I find profoundly moving and affirming. I love that nobody is made to feel out of place because of age or weight or race or physical ability (at least not that I witnessed or heard).
That a simple house color tie or sweater sends a message understood by all in attendance is unfathomable to my coworkers. I don't even bother discussing it with my family. So it's this powerful form of community, the likes of which JKR could never envision - because it barely has anything to do with her - and it once again strikes me as queer in the most positive way imaginable.
I can tell you that I got chills when I heard logospilgrim's talk about Harry "finding" Snape's eyes (and btw she knows how to rock a 3-piece suit). I nodded in recognition, familiarity, almost like family, when droxy, stitch_witch, alabastard and alabastardragon gave their talk. And being the attention whore natural teacher/group facilitator that I am, it was no work at all to get people to share ideas about their problems with the HP films at our snapecast presentation. (And yes, there is an Infinitus/Park episode in the works!).
Witnessing the creativity of the community also fills me with glee. There were women dressed in Victorian versions of house uniforms! I bought a pair of earrings shaped like brooms. What's not to love?
It's true, I am exhausted. I learned more about my physical limitations on this trip than I care to admit (eyes the yoga mat and exercycle collecting dust). I hadn't realized until I didn't feel well just how much my CSA has reshaped my relationship to processed and bad food (I seem to now have a lower tolerance for highly salted foods, for one). But this is the topic for another entry.
So I guess I want to say welcome back to old friends and new, and that it's an extraordinary feeling to find one's own. While I enjoyed Gallifrey a few months back, I recall mentioning to rm that I don't have a "position in the fandom" like I do in HP. But now I realize it's more than just that. Sure, it's gratifying to have people ask me "Are you Gina R Snape?" because we've crossed paths online. But it's not just that. I love DW, but I can't escape the feeling that I'm a guest trying to catch up and remember everyone's names. In HP, it feels like home, even if I'm standing next to someone I've never seen in my life. Is it any wonder I got a little choked up standing in the fake Hogsmeade for the first time? Sure, you have to ignore the mass merchandising, suspend disbelief, ignore the shoving crowds, squint a little bit. But sometimes, even an approximation of the "real thing" can be the real thing if you make it so in your mind. And that goes for the park, for the con, and I daresay everyday life where many many many things feel more like an approximation of real life than real life.
Yeah, ok, so I'm a bit of an optimist today. Don't crucio me! :)
But while looking over pics today and yesterday, and chatting with mysduende about all the COSplaying, I recalled something I told her jokingly when I went to Portus two years ago - that it was filled with fat girls in short skirts (aka "my people"). And looking at the pics from this year, I am struck by just how much of a queer space is embodied by the HP con.
It's not Queer with a capital Q. Not political, not intellectual, not in-your-face making a point to change the world or shift your paradigm (which I'm all about too). Rather, it's instinctual, inner life come to life. This universal feeling of how hard it is to reenter the muggle world strikes at the core of a kind of identity all its own. That we have people who cross gender lines in COSplay, who use COSplay as a way to explore all manner of inner life, or tailoring and makeup skills, or because the wig just looked right, that some people COSplay specific characters who call to them, and others simply wear their own version of "how I'd look if I were wizarding" in this shared fantasy space is something I find profoundly moving and affirming. I love that nobody is made to feel out of place because of age or weight or race or physical ability (at least not that I witnessed or heard).
That a simple house color tie or sweater sends a message understood by all in attendance is unfathomable to my coworkers. I don't even bother discussing it with my family. So it's this powerful form of community, the likes of which JKR could never envision - because it barely has anything to do with her - and it once again strikes me as queer in the most positive way imaginable.
I can tell you that I got chills when I heard logospilgrim's talk about Harry "finding" Snape's eyes (and btw she knows how to rock a 3-piece suit). I nodded in recognition, familiarity, almost like family, when droxy, stitch_witch, alabastard and alabastardragon gave their talk. And being the attention whore natural teacher/group facilitator that I am, it was no work at all to get people to share ideas about their problems with the HP films at our snapecast presentation. (And yes, there is an Infinitus/Park episode in the works!).
Witnessing the creativity of the community also fills me with glee. There were women dressed in Victorian versions of house uniforms! I bought a pair of earrings shaped like brooms. What's not to love?
It's true, I am exhausted. I learned more about my physical limitations on this trip than I care to admit (eyes the yoga mat and exercycle collecting dust). I hadn't realized until I didn't feel well just how much my CSA has reshaped my relationship to processed and bad food (I seem to now have a lower tolerance for highly salted foods, for one). But this is the topic for another entry.
So I guess I want to say welcome back to old friends and new, and that it's an extraordinary feeling to find one's own. While I enjoyed Gallifrey a few months back, I recall mentioning to rm that I don't have a "position in the fandom" like I do in HP. But now I realize it's more than just that. Sure, it's gratifying to have people ask me "Are you Gina R Snape?" because we've crossed paths online. But it's not just that. I love DW, but I can't escape the feeling that I'm a guest trying to catch up and remember everyone's names. In HP, it feels like home, even if I'm standing next to someone I've never seen in my life. Is it any wonder I got a little choked up standing in the fake Hogsmeade for the first time? Sure, you have to ignore the mass merchandising, suspend disbelief, ignore the shoving crowds, squint a little bit. But sometimes, even an approximation of the "real thing" can be the real thing if you make it so in your mind. And that goes for the park, for the con, and I daresay everyday life where many many many things feel more like an approximation of real life than real life.
Yeah, ok, so I'm a bit of an optimist today. Don't crucio me! :)