(no subject)
*beginning of entry 1 week ago*
*shudder* 3 sicknesses in a month. This is the most frequently sick I've ever been. It's all pretty disgusting. Having the flu was annoying but stomach bugs are so yuck. I mean my nose is fine which is fantastic, but the constant stomach ache and running to the toilet...ewww
The last few days I feel like I've kind of been living outside my body. A few days ago Jess told me that she's been thinking of breaking up. In fact that she had been thinking about it almost constantly for the last almost month. This was a great shock to me, considering the way she had seemed to be acting, like clingy, needy. We had mostly been arguing about A, which I guess is understandable. She had made alot of decisions within herself about the way she felt about her.And they really clashed with my own decisions about how I wanted my friendship with A to continue.
Over the last month Jess has become increasingly depressed with herself. Not sharing her feelings with anyone, bar me, it has been so heart breaking to watch. The girl just doesn't trust people. She reckons if she does talk to someone about her feelings, they'll blow her off and tell her that her problems are insignificant and that she is a nat in the world. I tell her she is silly, but that doesn't do too much. I too had been thinking about our relationship, and what to do with it but it coming from her seemed out of left field.
EDIT (continuation of entry) : But there it was the obvious statement, that we clearly weren't working together. But here we are in this new relationship and sometimes it feeels great and other times it feels really disconnected. More recently feeling a little more connected due to spending over $500 on sex toys.
Ah I really need to do a goddamn long post on Jess and A and all the whole schuboodle. Maybe not at 5 am.
*shudder* 3 sicknesses in a month. This is the most frequently sick I've ever been. It's all pretty disgusting. Having the flu was annoying but stomach bugs are so yuck. I mean my nose is fine which is fantastic, but the constant stomach ache and running to the toilet...ewww
The last few days I feel like I've kind of been living outside my body. A few days ago Jess told me that she's been thinking of breaking up. In fact that she had been thinking about it almost constantly for the last almost month. This was a great shock to me, considering the way she had seemed to be acting, like clingy, needy. We had mostly been arguing about A, which I guess is understandable. She had made alot of decisions within herself about the way she felt about her.And they really clashed with my own decisions about how I wanted my friendship with A to continue.
Over the last month Jess has become increasingly depressed with herself. Not sharing her feelings with anyone, bar me, it has been so heart breaking to watch. The girl just doesn't trust people. She reckons if she does talk to someone about her feelings, they'll blow her off and tell her that her problems are insignificant and that she is a nat in the world. I tell her she is silly, but that doesn't do too much. I too had been thinking about our relationship, and what to do with it but it coming from her seemed out of left field.
EDIT (continuation of entry) : But there it was the obvious statement, that we clearly weren't working together. But here we are in this new relationship and sometimes it feeels great and other times it feels really disconnected. More recently feeling a little more connected due to spending over $500 on sex toys.
Ah I really need to do a goddamn long post on Jess and A and all the whole schuboodle. Maybe not at 5 am.