Assorted Eureka Ficlets - Ficlet meme. (various pairings; NC-17)
Ficlet meme -- seen somewhere. I modified it a bit to fit my slightly OCD/perfectionistic tenancies.
The Rules:
1. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like.
2. Turn on your music player and put it on random/shuffle.
3. Write a drabble/ficlet related to each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble; you start when the song starts, and stop when it's over. No lingering afterwards!
4. Do ten of these, then post them.
My modifications-- I lingered a while after. I can't just... stop. It's not how I work. I let the image play out in my mind. But in return for this being off the cuff, I did not do my normal editing, just basics like spelling and grammar. (Anyone that knows my writing construction stages can tell you that it's a REALLY BIG DEAL for me to let something out and seen without anywhere from 3-15+ drafts/edits.)
Fandom: EUReKA
Rating: NC-17 overall
Pairing/Characters: Jack Carter/Nathan Stark; Jo Lupo/Zane Donovan; Jack Carter, Jo Lupo
Spoilers: Spoilers for at least 3x04 - "I Do Over", possibly other parts of S3
Size range: 194 to 463 words each
1.) Dave Matthews Band - Angel (Jo/Zane)
He never imagined a beautiful creature like her could bring him to his knees literally and figuratively. He’s always been the fringe guy, the punk on the outside too cool, too fast and too busy to worry about matters of the heart. A fling here and there - after all, he *is* human, and knows how to work the charm - but nothing ever worth sticking around for. The mysteries of the universe and particle physics were always ultimately more seductive than human interaction, although he did enjoy messing around with some theories in that too.
Until he met her. His hands can nearly span her delicate waist, yet she probably knows over 100 ways to easily kill him and wouldn’t hesitate to use them. Bright and beautiful with an edge of danger more seductive than any problem ever created, he loved lavishing hours of attention on her, black hair spread out on the pillow like a darkened veil. His fallen angel.
His hubris has always kept him going before, kept him from getting hurt by the realities of the world. Science is his haven, his mistress that would always be at his side. Particle physics could puzzle him his whole life, but it wouldn’t be able to cut his heart out so easily like she could.
It took him a week of a wounded ego, broken heart and assistants afraid of a premature death before he went back and apologized. By then he would have gone back on his knees, dying to feel her touch again.
2.) Papa Roach - Getting Away with Murder (Jack/Nathan)
They shouldn’t be doing this. Everything in his brain screams at him that this is a very, very bad idea. But then Jack’s hand slips farther down, into his pants -- not even wasting the time to take their pants off this time -- and he loses all rational thought.
Jack’s biting and sucking on his neck, almost frantic with need and he bares his neck to the other man, giving him open access. He moans when Jack scrapes his teeth all the way across, licking and biting harder, hands kneading as they move up and down his torso. Jack makes a pleased rumble in response, and Nathan nudges at Jack to capture his mouth again, dirty and all teeth and tongue.
When they have to break for air, Jack grunts out “Bed,” before pulling Nathan along by the shirt. Nathan wasn’t going to argue with that suggestion.
******
Later that night he leaves Jack almost reluctantly, pausing to take in the image of him laying tangled naked in the sheets in a completely unflattering pose. He lays a soft kiss on Jack’s pec and is simultaneously relieved and disappointed when Jack doesn’t wake up.
S.A.R.A.H. bids a him a quiet good morning as he leaves the bunker, and he lets the grin spread over his face that had been threatening to break through since he woke up tangled up with Jack on the bed.
Even though something should nag at him for ghosting away in the middle of the night - he’s never been the type to run from anything, a personal disaster or not -- he can’t help the grin that takes over his face at what the two of them are getting away with.
3.) Jimmy Eat World - The Middle (Jack)
He’s felt overwhelmed ever since he first set foot in this crazy town, outclassed by the geniuses and the crazy world they’ve created. He’s seen things he never even thought possible, met people more outlandish than the weirdest stand-up routine he’s ever seen, and despite the fact some look down on him for his ‘normalcy’, met a lot of kind people.
This town isn’t made for a ‘norm’ to help lead it, as Zoe calls it. They all expect him to solve their problems except he doesn’t know a damn thing about particle physics or anti-gravity machines or multisyllabic fields of study. It’s all the same foreign gobbledygook, and there are days where he misses being able to *understand* what’s going on around him. And those days where they’ve done something yet again to blow up the town, where he couldn’t even begin to understand it if he had the rest of his life instead of the next 5 minutes- he has to shut off the demon in the back of his mind reminding him that he doesn’t belong with these people, in this town.
But he’s got a job to do, a job he’s been given, and he’s never been one to back down from a challenge. Being Sheriff of a town of geniuses isn’t the most normal job out there, but if he buckles down and does what he knows how to do best-be himself, and genuinely try to help the people he’s been sent to protect.
4.) Dave Matthews Band - Busted Stuff (Lillywhite Sessions) (Jack)
What did he do to deserve this one? Tough and beautiful, and already off limits by getting in a jurisdictional pissing contest not 30 seconds after he met her. This does not bode well for his time in this damn town. Jack lags behind as she strides ahead with purpose, off to talk to the sheriff and that hairtrigger deputy of his. Her hips sway invitingly, and he pauses to watch her move. Damn, she’s but beautiful.
As she speaks to the sheriff, she looks pointedly over at him, and suddenly frowns at him. Maybe the lack of sleep is getting to him and he’s too obvious about the whole thing. It appears they’re arguing about him for some reason, but he doesn’t really care right now. The boy’s been found. Now he just wants to get his car fixed, pick up Zoe and get the hell out of Dodge.
When she drops him off at the town Inn and practically tells him off, his heart sinks. In that moment, he knew that it was never going to be as he hoped. Agent Blake would break his heart - whether he even got to have her or not.
He could wish, though.
5.) Saliva - Always (Jack/Nathan)
This is all wrong, wrong. WRONG. He’s in love with Allison. He practically raised Kevin, loves him probably more than he does Allison. They are his family, everything his personal life has known for the last 10 years beyond Henry’s mentorship. He. Loves. Allison.
Then why in the fuck is he drawn to Jack like a moth to a flame? Flinging sarcasm and whatever else he can at the sheriff just to get his attention, a reaction. Studying and watching him over time, the attraction growing stronger and stronger the longer he tries to deny it.
Jack’s behavior changes over time, from defensive and resentful to open and flirtatious, his dry wit and impressively upbeat attitude simultaneously attractive and annoying. His open pining for Allison just pisses him off, and he doesn’t know if the flare of jealousy is over Allison or Jack.
There is nothing that could be good with this - except maybe the sex - he expects that would be mind blowing. But the director of a top secret research facility and the town sheriff aren’t the type of jobs that just let people follow their desires. Especially Jack’s. They may be in a pretty open and accepting town, but that doesn’t mean the rest of the world is.
And they’ve got to get past themselves first.
6.) Hinder - Get Stoned (Jack/Nathan)
He slams Nathan against the wall, growling in frustration as he kisses Nathan hungrily. Nathan returns in kind and they’re a mess of tangling tongues and gnashing teeth, until he tastes someone’s blood. He’s not quite sure whose, but he’ll find out soon enough.
The copper tang must have hit Nathan at the same time, because he rumbles and shoves himself away from the wall, using his larger bulk as leverage to toss Jack down onto the couch and climb over him, pinning him down.
Jack tries to buck Nathan off, but weight, mass, gravity and leverage are all working against him. He can feel Nathan snort in amusement as he moves down to biting Jack’s neck while he makes quick work of Jack’s shirts, pushing them out of the way as he leaves a trail of angry red marks down Jack’s torso. He tries to fight back, squirm away, but Nathan’s hands go back to pinning his arms down and another wave of arousal tears through him at being forced down.
Fuck, this is so good, he thinks. It shouldn’t be this good, not when we’re practically destroying each other in the process.
7.) Josh Kelley - Home to Me (Jack/Nathan)
Nathan wakes up slowly, warm and content to stay where he is. Jack’s curled up against his chest, asleep and boneless against him. He’s heavy, but his weight is comforting, real. Jack shifts against him, burrowing closer, and the smile on Nathan’s face widens. Jack’s so vulnerable, so beautiful like this, and part of him wants to sit and stare and the other just wants to follow Jack back into slumber. Nothing’s pressing today, so he’s not going to force Jack to awaken before he feels like it. SARAH can make them a meal whenever, and Zoe is more than capable of fending for herself for a few hours.
Six months ago, he wouldn’t have imagined being content to laze about in bed instead of work. Or that he’d be holding Jack Carter in his arms, that they could ever come to a point enough to trust each other to relax in each other’s presence, much less sleep together. He definitely would never have guessed that he would find home and contentment in the arms of the man that constantly managed to put his world on its head, despite barely capable of higher level mathematics.
Jack makes a small whimper, shifting again, and he reaches up to stroke a hand through Jack’s hair and he settles down quickly. He doesn’t remove his hand, cradling Jack’s head close to his chest. Jack gives a heaving sigh, and goes even more boneless against him. Yeah Jack, he thinks. I’m here. Home.
He lets the ghost of a smile trail onto his lips as he closes his eyes to join Jack.
8.) Meredith Brooks - What Would Happen (Jack/Nathan)
He’s noticed lately that he’s let his mind wander too often, watching Jack as he moves. At the café, down below in the atrium, when they’re working in the same room-his eyes wander and his mind isn’t far behind. It’s not proper, not right. He’s not in the kind of position that he can lose focus and still be successful. Ali’s going to notice soon enough, and Henry’s already been shooting him concerned looks, although they could just Henry noticing the lack of sleep wearing him down.
He blames it all on the dreams. Ever since they started a few months ago they’ve become more and more frequent, disrupting what little sleep he gets and wreaking havoc on his subconscious. Fantasies, nightmares, nights of passion, waking up aching for the feel of Jack under him.
There are times that he’s afraid to even go to sleep, afraid of what he’ll see when he closes his eyes, and so he just keeps working to avoid it. Or sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night so turned on he has to jerk off to calm down enough to even attempt to go back to sleep. Sometimes those nights he just gets up and goes to work.
One night a couple weeks ago he watched Jack die in front of him, watching the light fade from his eyes like Callister. He woke up so cold, so empty that he stood for 20 minutes in a pure hot shower, burning his skin to try to warm up the chill that had taken firm root in his chest. When Jack walked into his office the next morning, he felt he could finally breathe again, but lashed out at Jack all day. How dare he affect him so much?
After that, the dreams started really getting even more vivid and frequent. Now he wonders what Jack would do if he kissed him. Kiss back? Punch him? Laugh it off as a cruel joke? He has a feeling the handsome sheriff isn’t as vanilla as he likes the world to think, but he can’t be sure without empirical evidence. And he’s not quite sure how he’s going to get it.
9.) Nine Inch Nails - Perfect Drug (Jack/Nathan)
Jack practically climbs into his lap, pressing more of them together even through their clothing. Their kisses are messy, hands roaming and clutching at angles and flesh. Jack’s fingers tangle in his hair now that’s he been letting it grow out, tugging and angling Nathan’s head to his liking. Part of him likes the little spikes of pain that melt into the pleasure. He starts to shove at Jack’s clothing, and Jack leans far enough away to strip off his shirt while never breaking the kiss. As soon as Jack’s chest hits the air, Nathan’s hands are roaming all over, tracing patterns as Jack goes to work on his shirt. He leans forward to let Jack strip it off him, and his skin practically vibrates when Jack’s heat comes to lean against his.
He craves the sensations, the endorphins. The smell and feel of Jack, the slide of their bare flesh together sends sparks down every nerve ending in his body. He’s found nothing better than wrapping himself around and burying himself in Jack, until nobody can tell where one of them ends and the other begins. He never thought he’d be like this with someone again, not after Ali. And this isn’t even remotely the same. It’s different, electric. Forbidden and perfect and volatile and more fascinating than the biggest big bang they could ever hope to recreate.
It had started out as something causal, almost ‘helping out a buddy’ of sorts. A quick handjob and no kissing wasn’t supposed to turn out like this - with both of them spiraling out of control and hooked on the taste of the other like a couple of junkies. He thought at first it was just him, craving the feel and taste of Jack more and more after those first few flings, but when Jack crossed the line and kissed him tentatively the first time, it didn’t take long for them to build momentum. Now it seems that he can’t keep anything else in his head besides Jack - his smell, his taste, the tiny keening noise he makes when he comes. Watching him, playing him like an instrument of pleasure under his fingertips that makes the most beautiful music, melodies and soundscapes that drive him wild.
They can’t, he can’t go back now. To make them stop would be like withdrawal, and honestly, there is part of him that doesn’t even know what he would do. And that scares him…. But not enough to override the screaming pleasure that being with Jack brings.
10.) Dave Matthews Band - Grace is Gone (Lillywhite Sessions) (Jack, Jo)
“Another, Vincent.” Vincent frowns at him, sadness tinging his expression before he shuffles away and Jack expects that Vincent’s going to cut him off in some sort of misguided gesture of kindness. Normally he’d appreciate it, but not today. Today, he wants to get drunk. Some twisted part of him is convinced that things will be back to normal tomorrow if he does.
If all was right in the world, Nathan won’t be dead. There won’t be a town in shambles, left for him to lead, to fix, while trying to find the pieces of his own shattered heart. He slumps further against the counter. He doesn’t know if he can even care anymore, he’s just so numb.
It took Nathan’s impending death for both of them to face it, and as he looked into Nathan’s eyes, he knew in those final moments that Nathan had felt it too, that he wasn’t the only one, wasn’t crazy. There was something there, that in their stupidity and stubbornness they denied to their core. They cheated themselves out of a chance at happiness, and that hurt even more.
One drink to remember, one drink to forget. Another and another, because he doesn’t want to remember the pain and emptiness in his chest, but at the same time, doesn’t want to forget him. Doesn’t want anyone to forget him, what they did for him all. They can all think of him as an evil asshole, but he’ll know the truth. So will Henry and Ali and Kevin and maybe even Fargo. The people that count.
He barely notices when Jo comes up and sits next to him, placing a comforting hand on his back, rubbing back and forth softly. Better than his own sister.
“Hey Chief,” she says softly. They’ve all been treating him with kid gloves. Waiting for him to break. Why’d they all know and not him? Why was he the last to know?
“Think it’s about time I took you home.”
“Zoe,” is the only coherent thing he manage-not only is he well enough drunk, he’s afraid if he opens his mouth for too long, the grief twisting his soul will come pouring out.
“Lexi’s got her, they’ll be fine. They know I’ve got you. Come on, let’s go home.” She’s speaking to him softly, gently. Gentler than he’s ever seen her with anyone, and he knows he must be completely pickled, crazy, or both. They’ve all been waiting for him to break.
He’s torn, but finally gets up, slightly unsteady, and heads toward the door, her hand on his back steadily guiding him home. He tries to turn to her.
“Don’t ever leave me, Jo,” he tells her, unable to keep his voice steady.
“Don’t intend to Chief, don’t intend to.”
Fin
10/08
Feedback always welcome.
Link to all of my stories
The Rules:
1. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like.
2. Turn on your music player and put it on random/shuffle.
3. Write a drabble/ficlet related to each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble; you start when the song starts, and stop when it's over. No lingering afterwards!
4. Do ten of these, then post them.
My modifications-- I lingered a while after. I can't just... stop. It's not how I work. I let the image play out in my mind. But in return for this being off the cuff, I did not do my normal editing, just basics like spelling and grammar. (Anyone that knows my writing construction stages can tell you that it's a REALLY BIG DEAL for me to let something out and seen without anywhere from 3-15+ drafts/edits.)
Fandom: EUReKA
Rating: NC-17 overall
Pairing/Characters: Jack Carter/Nathan Stark; Jo Lupo/Zane Donovan; Jack Carter, Jo Lupo
Spoilers: Spoilers for at least 3x04 - "I Do Over", possibly other parts of S3
Size range: 194 to 463 words each
1.) Dave Matthews Band - Angel (Jo/Zane)
He never imagined a beautiful creature like her could bring him to his knees literally and figuratively. He’s always been the fringe guy, the punk on the outside too cool, too fast and too busy to worry about matters of the heart. A fling here and there - after all, he *is* human, and knows how to work the charm - but nothing ever worth sticking around for. The mysteries of the universe and particle physics were always ultimately more seductive than human interaction, although he did enjoy messing around with some theories in that too.
Until he met her. His hands can nearly span her delicate waist, yet she probably knows over 100 ways to easily kill him and wouldn’t hesitate to use them. Bright and beautiful with an edge of danger more seductive than any problem ever created, he loved lavishing hours of attention on her, black hair spread out on the pillow like a darkened veil. His fallen angel.
His hubris has always kept him going before, kept him from getting hurt by the realities of the world. Science is his haven, his mistress that would always be at his side. Particle physics could puzzle him his whole life, but it wouldn’t be able to cut his heart out so easily like she could.
It took him a week of a wounded ego, broken heart and assistants afraid of a premature death before he went back and apologized. By then he would have gone back on his knees, dying to feel her touch again.
2.) Papa Roach - Getting Away with Murder (Jack/Nathan)
They shouldn’t be doing this. Everything in his brain screams at him that this is a very, very bad idea. But then Jack’s hand slips farther down, into his pants -- not even wasting the time to take their pants off this time -- and he loses all rational thought.
Jack’s biting and sucking on his neck, almost frantic with need and he bares his neck to the other man, giving him open access. He moans when Jack scrapes his teeth all the way across, licking and biting harder, hands kneading as they move up and down his torso. Jack makes a pleased rumble in response, and Nathan nudges at Jack to capture his mouth again, dirty and all teeth and tongue.
When they have to break for air, Jack grunts out “Bed,” before pulling Nathan along by the shirt. Nathan wasn’t going to argue with that suggestion.
******
Later that night he leaves Jack almost reluctantly, pausing to take in the image of him laying tangled naked in the sheets in a completely unflattering pose. He lays a soft kiss on Jack’s pec and is simultaneously relieved and disappointed when Jack doesn’t wake up.
S.A.R.A.H. bids a him a quiet good morning as he leaves the bunker, and he lets the grin spread over his face that had been threatening to break through since he woke up tangled up with Jack on the bed.
Even though something should nag at him for ghosting away in the middle of the night - he’s never been the type to run from anything, a personal disaster or not -- he can’t help the grin that takes over his face at what the two of them are getting away with.
3.) Jimmy Eat World - The Middle (Jack)
He’s felt overwhelmed ever since he first set foot in this crazy town, outclassed by the geniuses and the crazy world they’ve created. He’s seen things he never even thought possible, met people more outlandish than the weirdest stand-up routine he’s ever seen, and despite the fact some look down on him for his ‘normalcy’, met a lot of kind people.
This town isn’t made for a ‘norm’ to help lead it, as Zoe calls it. They all expect him to solve their problems except he doesn’t know a damn thing about particle physics or anti-gravity machines or multisyllabic fields of study. It’s all the same foreign gobbledygook, and there are days where he misses being able to *understand* what’s going on around him. And those days where they’ve done something yet again to blow up the town, where he couldn’t even begin to understand it if he had the rest of his life instead of the next 5 minutes- he has to shut off the demon in the back of his mind reminding him that he doesn’t belong with these people, in this town.
But he’s got a job to do, a job he’s been given, and he’s never been one to back down from a challenge. Being Sheriff of a town of geniuses isn’t the most normal job out there, but if he buckles down and does what he knows how to do best-be himself, and genuinely try to help the people he’s been sent to protect.
4.) Dave Matthews Band - Busted Stuff (Lillywhite Sessions) (Jack)
What did he do to deserve this one? Tough and beautiful, and already off limits by getting in a jurisdictional pissing contest not 30 seconds after he met her. This does not bode well for his time in this damn town. Jack lags behind as she strides ahead with purpose, off to talk to the sheriff and that hairtrigger deputy of his. Her hips sway invitingly, and he pauses to watch her move. Damn, she’s but beautiful.
As she speaks to the sheriff, she looks pointedly over at him, and suddenly frowns at him. Maybe the lack of sleep is getting to him and he’s too obvious about the whole thing. It appears they’re arguing about him for some reason, but he doesn’t really care right now. The boy’s been found. Now he just wants to get his car fixed, pick up Zoe and get the hell out of Dodge.
When she drops him off at the town Inn and practically tells him off, his heart sinks. In that moment, he knew that it was never going to be as he hoped. Agent Blake would break his heart - whether he even got to have her or not.
He could wish, though.
5.) Saliva - Always (Jack/Nathan)
This is all wrong, wrong. WRONG. He’s in love with Allison. He practically raised Kevin, loves him probably more than he does Allison. They are his family, everything his personal life has known for the last 10 years beyond Henry’s mentorship. He. Loves. Allison.
Then why in the fuck is he drawn to Jack like a moth to a flame? Flinging sarcasm and whatever else he can at the sheriff just to get his attention, a reaction. Studying and watching him over time, the attraction growing stronger and stronger the longer he tries to deny it.
Jack’s behavior changes over time, from defensive and resentful to open and flirtatious, his dry wit and impressively upbeat attitude simultaneously attractive and annoying. His open pining for Allison just pisses him off, and he doesn’t know if the flare of jealousy is over Allison or Jack.
There is nothing that could be good with this - except maybe the sex - he expects that would be mind blowing. But the director of a top secret research facility and the town sheriff aren’t the type of jobs that just let people follow their desires. Especially Jack’s. They may be in a pretty open and accepting town, but that doesn’t mean the rest of the world is.
And they’ve got to get past themselves first.
6.) Hinder - Get Stoned (Jack/Nathan)
He slams Nathan against the wall, growling in frustration as he kisses Nathan hungrily. Nathan returns in kind and they’re a mess of tangling tongues and gnashing teeth, until he tastes someone’s blood. He’s not quite sure whose, but he’ll find out soon enough.
The copper tang must have hit Nathan at the same time, because he rumbles and shoves himself away from the wall, using his larger bulk as leverage to toss Jack down onto the couch and climb over him, pinning him down.
Jack tries to buck Nathan off, but weight, mass, gravity and leverage are all working against him. He can feel Nathan snort in amusement as he moves down to biting Jack’s neck while he makes quick work of Jack’s shirts, pushing them out of the way as he leaves a trail of angry red marks down Jack’s torso. He tries to fight back, squirm away, but Nathan’s hands go back to pinning his arms down and another wave of arousal tears through him at being forced down.
Fuck, this is so good, he thinks. It shouldn’t be this good, not when we’re practically destroying each other in the process.
7.) Josh Kelley - Home to Me (Jack/Nathan)
Nathan wakes up slowly, warm and content to stay where he is. Jack’s curled up against his chest, asleep and boneless against him. He’s heavy, but his weight is comforting, real. Jack shifts against him, burrowing closer, and the smile on Nathan’s face widens. Jack’s so vulnerable, so beautiful like this, and part of him wants to sit and stare and the other just wants to follow Jack back into slumber. Nothing’s pressing today, so he’s not going to force Jack to awaken before he feels like it. SARAH can make them a meal whenever, and Zoe is more than capable of fending for herself for a few hours.
Six months ago, he wouldn’t have imagined being content to laze about in bed instead of work. Or that he’d be holding Jack Carter in his arms, that they could ever come to a point enough to trust each other to relax in each other’s presence, much less sleep together. He definitely would never have guessed that he would find home and contentment in the arms of the man that constantly managed to put his world on its head, despite barely capable of higher level mathematics.
Jack makes a small whimper, shifting again, and he reaches up to stroke a hand through Jack’s hair and he settles down quickly. He doesn’t remove his hand, cradling Jack’s head close to his chest. Jack gives a heaving sigh, and goes even more boneless against him. Yeah Jack, he thinks. I’m here. Home.
He lets the ghost of a smile trail onto his lips as he closes his eyes to join Jack.
8.) Meredith Brooks - What Would Happen (Jack/Nathan)
He’s noticed lately that he’s let his mind wander too often, watching Jack as he moves. At the café, down below in the atrium, when they’re working in the same room-his eyes wander and his mind isn’t far behind. It’s not proper, not right. He’s not in the kind of position that he can lose focus and still be successful. Ali’s going to notice soon enough, and Henry’s already been shooting him concerned looks, although they could just Henry noticing the lack of sleep wearing him down.
He blames it all on the dreams. Ever since they started a few months ago they’ve become more and more frequent, disrupting what little sleep he gets and wreaking havoc on his subconscious. Fantasies, nightmares, nights of passion, waking up aching for the feel of Jack under him.
There are times that he’s afraid to even go to sleep, afraid of what he’ll see when he closes his eyes, and so he just keeps working to avoid it. Or sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night so turned on he has to jerk off to calm down enough to even attempt to go back to sleep. Sometimes those nights he just gets up and goes to work.
One night a couple weeks ago he watched Jack die in front of him, watching the light fade from his eyes like Callister. He woke up so cold, so empty that he stood for 20 minutes in a pure hot shower, burning his skin to try to warm up the chill that had taken firm root in his chest. When Jack walked into his office the next morning, he felt he could finally breathe again, but lashed out at Jack all day. How dare he affect him so much?
After that, the dreams started really getting even more vivid and frequent. Now he wonders what Jack would do if he kissed him. Kiss back? Punch him? Laugh it off as a cruel joke? He has a feeling the handsome sheriff isn’t as vanilla as he likes the world to think, but he can’t be sure without empirical evidence. And he’s not quite sure how he’s going to get it.
9.) Nine Inch Nails - Perfect Drug (Jack/Nathan)
Jack practically climbs into his lap, pressing more of them together even through their clothing. Their kisses are messy, hands roaming and clutching at angles and flesh. Jack’s fingers tangle in his hair now that’s he been letting it grow out, tugging and angling Nathan’s head to his liking. Part of him likes the little spikes of pain that melt into the pleasure. He starts to shove at Jack’s clothing, and Jack leans far enough away to strip off his shirt while never breaking the kiss. As soon as Jack’s chest hits the air, Nathan’s hands are roaming all over, tracing patterns as Jack goes to work on his shirt. He leans forward to let Jack strip it off him, and his skin practically vibrates when Jack’s heat comes to lean against his.
He craves the sensations, the endorphins. The smell and feel of Jack, the slide of their bare flesh together sends sparks down every nerve ending in his body. He’s found nothing better than wrapping himself around and burying himself in Jack, until nobody can tell where one of them ends and the other begins. He never thought he’d be like this with someone again, not after Ali. And this isn’t even remotely the same. It’s different, electric. Forbidden and perfect and volatile and more fascinating than the biggest big bang they could ever hope to recreate.
It had started out as something causal, almost ‘helping out a buddy’ of sorts. A quick handjob and no kissing wasn’t supposed to turn out like this - with both of them spiraling out of control and hooked on the taste of the other like a couple of junkies. He thought at first it was just him, craving the feel and taste of Jack more and more after those first few flings, but when Jack crossed the line and kissed him tentatively the first time, it didn’t take long for them to build momentum. Now it seems that he can’t keep anything else in his head besides Jack - his smell, his taste, the tiny keening noise he makes when he comes. Watching him, playing him like an instrument of pleasure under his fingertips that makes the most beautiful music, melodies and soundscapes that drive him wild.
They can’t, he can’t go back now. To make them stop would be like withdrawal, and honestly, there is part of him that doesn’t even know what he would do. And that scares him…. But not enough to override the screaming pleasure that being with Jack brings.
10.) Dave Matthews Band - Grace is Gone (Lillywhite Sessions) (Jack, Jo)
“Another, Vincent.” Vincent frowns at him, sadness tinging his expression before he shuffles away and Jack expects that Vincent’s going to cut him off in some sort of misguided gesture of kindness. Normally he’d appreciate it, but not today. Today, he wants to get drunk. Some twisted part of him is convinced that things will be back to normal tomorrow if he does.
If all was right in the world, Nathan won’t be dead. There won’t be a town in shambles, left for him to lead, to fix, while trying to find the pieces of his own shattered heart. He slumps further against the counter. He doesn’t know if he can even care anymore, he’s just so numb.
It took Nathan’s impending death for both of them to face it, and as he looked into Nathan’s eyes, he knew in those final moments that Nathan had felt it too, that he wasn’t the only one, wasn’t crazy. There was something there, that in their stupidity and stubbornness they denied to their core. They cheated themselves out of a chance at happiness, and that hurt even more.
One drink to remember, one drink to forget. Another and another, because he doesn’t want to remember the pain and emptiness in his chest, but at the same time, doesn’t want to forget him. Doesn’t want anyone to forget him, what they did for him all. They can all think of him as an evil asshole, but he’ll know the truth. So will Henry and Ali and Kevin and maybe even Fargo. The people that count.
He barely notices when Jo comes up and sits next to him, placing a comforting hand on his back, rubbing back and forth softly. Better than his own sister.
“Hey Chief,” she says softly. They’ve all been treating him with kid gloves. Waiting for him to break. Why’d they all know and not him? Why was he the last to know?
“Think it’s about time I took you home.”
“Zoe,” is the only coherent thing he manage-not only is he well enough drunk, he’s afraid if he opens his mouth for too long, the grief twisting his soul will come pouring out.
“Lexi’s got her, they’ll be fine. They know I’ve got you. Come on, let’s go home.” She’s speaking to him softly, gently. Gentler than he’s ever seen her with anyone, and he knows he must be completely pickled, crazy, or both. They’ve all been waiting for him to break.
He’s torn, but finally gets up, slightly unsteady, and heads toward the door, her hand on his back steadily guiding him home. He tries to turn to her.
“Don’t ever leave me, Jo,” he tells her, unable to keep his voice steady.
“Don’t intend to Chief, don’t intend to.”
Fin
10/08
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