i need to be high
i want to kick amanda vance. i hate tim. im resentful toward my parents about tim. i miss bret so much. one month has seemed like a fucking eternity without him and everyone else from school around. i miss all of them. i hate sleeping alone. i hate that i cant talk to any of my friends (with the exception of 1) about my "secrets" because theyll judge me. they would freak out hardcore. im mad at my dentist for doing a shitty job fixing my bonding. but im happy, because tomorrow i will get high. sort of a "wake and bake", but with 30 minutes of driving between waking and baking. i <3 nitrous oxide. it almost makes the cavity worth it. almost. and yes, i really DO get high on it. im not fucking around. i wish i could just get fucking wasted and pass out so i dont have to think about all this shit anymore. i dont want to think about missing bret, hating my job, hating my ex, being angry at my parents, not being able to save enough money for next year, not being able to afford to go to warped tour, about my friends, about anything. maybe mom will be nice and let me have some drinks. or not. it's worth a shot, right?