nervous stomach
I have so much homework to do but i cant concentrate, somthing that is happening much too often now. My stomach hurts as if i anticipate something, and the nausea tells me that it cant be good. I hate this feeling, im dreading something unknown and i have no clue what there is to fear. It is this feeling that is keeping me from writing an essay. No random blow could phase me too much at this point as i am already full to the brim and have in fact overflowed. so i honestly dont know what it is that could be coming that is causing such discomfort. and love? what is love? if its what i have known, then fuck it. why is it that when love is standing right in front of you, you cant feel it...no, more like why is that what happens to me repeatedly. The man of my dreams is never available or is just an illusion. Dont tell me im too young to care because there are many younger than me that are 100x luckier. ahh it is soo impossible to live with all these secrets. Secrets that should be told but my weak ass mouth just cant form the words. Why am i such a pussy? Maybe im not a pussy at all but just put i others in front of myself, in order to protect them before protecting me. Why do i have to give up one or the other to get what i want?? Why cant we just live in a Utopian society where everything is perfect and everyone is happy.