aaarrrgggggghhhhh!@#!%$!@^!
i got a fuckin subpoena today! in high school i didn't even know what a subpoena was! i came home asking my parents what a SUB-PO-ENA was. ugh! i just wanna scream till it goes away! aaaaaaarrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! fuckin stupid lady fuckin stupid lawyer fuckin stupid state people! this lady who used to be one of my tutors tried to put in hours for tutoring a kid that was off island. i didn't find out about it till after i already paid her for it and my boss said to keep paying her cause we didn't have any proof as of yet. so this guy from the school that the kid went to told me that she was on the mainland and that if this tutor puts in hours for her then to let him know. well she did so i did. this was all 2 YEARS AGO! a detective called me asking me to make him copies of her timesheets, the tutor called to ask me the same thing. i didn't know that i would actually have to get involved. if i did i would of just kept my mouth shut about the whole thing! i have to call that lady's lawyer and find out what exactly is going on. i really don't wanna do this. i don't know what to say i don't know what to do! i can yap yap yap my mouth off all day long but when it comes to things like this i panic! during jury duty there wasn't enough seats so some of us had to sit in "the box" and i was one of em. i could stop shaking, my mouth was dry, i seriously felt like i was gonna puke right there on the person in front of me. THANK GOD i didn't get choosen. lord knows what would of happened if i did. sitting there and listening to a case isn't as bad as actually having to go up and testify! OMIGOD WHAT AM I GONNA DO?! i feel like crying. i feel like screaming. i feel like hiding under my covers and not coming out till the whole thing is over. i'm a dreamer when it comes to people talking to me seriously. i look straight at the person and nod at all the right times but i'm thinking about what i'll do when i get home, what time it is, thinking if i paid my bills yet. i'm so terrible at these things. i can't concentrate for shit when it comes to these things. i tell myself to stop but i can't. maybe i have a mild case of ADD or something? well anyway...does anyone know what goes on with these things? i have no way to calm my nerves and i may be overreacting but i don't give a damn! i don't even drive! how the hell am i gonna get there?! hell if i'm asking paka to drive me there. you know how pissed he would be having to drive through traffic in town! ugh. i'm gonna crawl away now. :(