History my Dear Benjamin (Part Two)

[gimmeaspinbaby]

Part one can be found here:




They're up bright and early- Ben doubts that Leslie's ever not been up bright and early- and on the way to the hospital at half past five.

"Stop for coffee?" She asks him as they near a dinner.

He replies yes in a sort of groan.

"I'll be back in a second. No, a minute. No, a few minutes." She corrects herself again, slamming the door on Ben and the stereo that's playing sweet old sixties songs.

Ben leans his head back against the back of the passenger seat and watches the empty road in front of him.

There are still a few street lights on; it's that dark.

Suddenly (did he fall asleep?) the song has changed and Leslie's opening the door with two drinks in hand.

Be my, be my- be my little baby. Say you'll be my darling. Be my baby now.

"It's got milk and one sugar."

"Perfect," Ben smiles, taking the takeaway cups out of Leslie's hand as she starts the car again.

Since the day I saw you, I have been waiting for you.

"I love this song." Leslie says, as if in a daze of chocolate coffee and the lyrics that are being played.

"It's a classic," Ben agrees, watching as Leslie hits repeat on her CD player.

The night we met I knew I, needed you so.

In no time at all they're at the hospital, and as they walk through the big double doors ("You can come early, but only because he's going into theatre at 6.30."), he can't help but hear Be My Baby over and over in his head.

God it's annoying.

"Ben Wyatt!" Chris says as soon as they walk in.

"Hi, Ch-" Ben stops midsentence. Because Chris' head is completely free of hair.

"...They shaved your whole head?" He whispers.

"Oh no," Chris says, equally as quiet. "I asked them to."

Ben takes in a deep breath.

"Well I think you look good, Chris." Leslie says, walking further into the room beside Ben. "Very Vin Diesel. No, Brad Pitt. No! David Be-"

"Thank-you, Leslie Knope!" Chris says, somewhat more happily. But he's still quiet, Ben can't help but note.

He sighs and walks right up to Chris' bed, placing his hand on the guard rail by his pillow.

"...I..." Leslie slips out of the room while Ben finds his words. "...I know that this isn't a big deal- I mean it is, but it's not like- you'll be fine, I know that, but..."

"I know what you mean, Ben." Chris says quietly, placing his left hand over Ben's.

Ben lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"I honestly think that I would feel better about this if I was the one going into surgery." Ben laughs. "How stupid is that?"

"It's not stupid, Ben. I know how you think. You're always trying to help me. You're my best friend, and I'm positive that standing here helplessly while I fight myself is very hard for you."

Ben's breathing shudders and he falters.

"...I... That's got to be hard for you too, Chris." He says slowly- cautiously. "Please. Just... Tell me the truth."

Chris smiles sort of sadly. "You, out of everybody, already knows."

Ben does. He knows, he knows, that Chris is scared. Leslie doesn't see it and Ann probably doesn't either, but Ben... For him it's written all over Chris' face.

("I was sick as a child, Ben. I nearly died. And if I'm there again I want to be sure that I've lived my life fully." "Four kids. No five. No four. Yes, I want four kids, Ben Wyatt." "I haven't been to South America yet. That's definitely on my list." "I would very, very much like to be married. To someone I can enter marathons with." "And you, Ben Wyatt! You can never be too healthy!")

"If you promise to come out of here fine, I'll go jogging with you." Ben says, laughing hollowly to try and pull his words off as a joke.

They sound more like a plea.

"When I get out of here fine." Chris corrects him, and just like that, they're back to normal.

Ben's worrying and no one suspects that Chris is too.

When they wheel Chris into one of Pawnee Central's operating theatres, Ben smiles.

And when Chris has gone through the doors, he turns to Leslie and slumps against her, his head falling onto her shoulder as he deflates. Ann managed to pull some strings for herself and is watching from the side. But Ben and Leslie have to wait out in the hall.

It's going to be a long day.

"Your best memory of Chris," Leslie prompts him.

Ben pauses, thinking. "There's a wealth of things." He says with a fond sort of smile.

"Well, mine would have to be when he approved our harvest festival idea. When the parks department presented it he actually cried."

"I can imagine," Ben smiles.

"Can you?" Leslie asks him. "Because I'm talking full on sobs here. Tears fell onto the floor that the janitor had to clean up."

Ben grins. "Ok, well when I graduated, the rest of my family stayed in Minnesota because my sister was having her baby-"

Leslie makes a scandalized sort of sound.

"Which was fair enough- but anyway. Chris- my degree took a year longer than his- sat in the middle of the three seats that my parents had reserved and played instrumental clapping tapes on two different tape decks so that when I walked across the stage it sounded like I had family cheering for me."

"That is brilliant." Leslie says, looking like she's going to remember this idea for her own use.

"It was certainly something." Ben agrees.

"I would have just hired lookalikes of your parents-" Just? "-But he actually went out and bought tapes with clapping on them!"

"He recorded tapes with clapping on them." Ben corrects her. "Which really, is the best part of the whole thing, I think."

"Oh that is good," Leslie says, leaning her head back against the chair she's sitting in. They're in the cafeteria, an untouched chicken sandwich sitting in front of Ben.

"Yeah. Chris has just... Always been like that."

"He wouldn't record tapes of himself clapping for just anybody, Ben."

Ben wrinkles his nose. "Yeah, but I never quite understood why he made them for me. I mean, I never do anything extraordinary for him."

"...You're kidding me, right?"

"...No."

"Ben," Leslie says in a sort of breathless, disbelieving laugh, "Ben, he talks about you all the time. Have you not ever thought that maybe just being Chris' friend is the extraordinary thing that you do for him?"

"...I mean, I guess, but he's always made friends easily. Everywhere he goes, in fact."

"And how many of those people is he still close with?"

"...I..."

"You're his constant." Leslie tells him with absolutely certainty. (Although, to be fair, that's how she sounds even when she's wrong). "You're his best friend, Ben. And that's the only reason he needs to do things for you."

There's a pause as Ben ponders this, looking off out into the rest of the hospital as a teenage girl opens the double doors that separate the cafeteria from the hallways outside.

"You should really eat that," Leslie tells him, pointing at his sandwich.

He smiles wearily at her and pulls open the plastic wrappings, giving her half.

"It would do better with some whipped cream, but I suppose-"

Ben rolls his eyes and without much thought, grabs Leslie's half of the sandwich and stuffs it in her open mouth.

She squawks before swallowing and then, because honestly he just can't help it, he bursts into laughter.

She tries to glare at him, but soon Leslie's laughing too. And as they sit, waiting for news, Ben wishes somehow simultaneously that this was and wasn't happening.

An hour and a half later, Ann finds them.

"He's fine." She smiles. "They removed the tumour, and now all he has to do is recover. Chris is totally fine."

"No tumour?" Ben asks, just to be totally sure that he's not imagining this.

"No tumour."

He shuts his eyes and whispers "Thank God," even though he doesn't believe in that.

"Now, you won't be able to see him for a couple more hours while he's in a surgical recovery room, but when he moves into the intensive care unit, I'll come and get you, alright? You should be able to visit, Ben, since you're his emergency contact and because he hasn't got any immediate family."

"...Would then be a good time for me to dress up in some of your scrubs?" Leslie asks Ann.

"You're not sneaking into Chris' room, so stop thinking about it." Ann glares.

"You're as big of a killjoy as Ben," Leslie mutters under her breath, purposely loud enough so that both Ben and Ann can hear her insult.

"...And depending on how well Chris responds, he should be in a normal hospital room in 2-3 days, and you'll be able to visit him then too, Leslie."

"...If I had your scrubs-"

"And he'll be able to leave at the end of the week?" Ben interrupts.

"If everything is on track, then yes." Ann smiles. "But," She says with a more sober tone, "There may be some partial paralysis or some other complication. I just want you to be prepared."

"Is that likely?"

"Not highly, but it is a possibility. But even if it does happen, it'll most likely be a short term effect."

Ok, Ben thinks, ok. Chris is fine. Chris is fine.

"So two more hours? Then I can go and see him?"

Ann nods. "I'll come and get you."

Ben leans his head back against his chair and just breathes. There's been tension underlying everything for the past few days, and now, now Ben can just about let it go.

"Ben Wyatt." Chris slurs lazily, his eyes halfway open. "How are you, Benjamin? Because I'm rather swell," He says with the same slow drawl that makes him sound anything but.

"I'm- doesn't matter." Ben says, shaking his head. "How are you?"

Chris holds up two fingers a little way apart. "I'm a bit- jus' a bit- woozy. And my face doesn't feel quite right." He says, snuggling down into his pillow, looking like he's going to fall asleep on Ben any minute now.

"Yeah," Ben says, smiling at the sight of little-boy-Chris despite himself. "Ann said that you might have some short term effects like that."

"Hmm mmm mmm," Chris murmurs, closing his eyes.

"I'm really glad you're alright." Ben tells him quietly, touching Chris' arm before being escorted back out of the icu.

And Chris, Chris really is alright. A week passes and he leaves the hospital, staying at Ann's house while Ben takes over his flat in Pawnee. (Although he feels like that would have happened even if he wasn't there.)

Another week passes, and Ben's still there, tentatively going for runs with Chris in the morning and nearly passing out on Ann's couch when they're done as she sneaks him biscuits that she's hidden around the house.

And then, just as he's thinking that maybe he should start to think about going back home, Chris asks him something.

"Will you stay in Pawnee for a little bit longer?"

Sure, he'd said to Chris with a faint hint of surprise. It'll be nice to hang out, and it's not as if I've got anything to do at home-

No, Chris had told him, I want you to take over for me. I want to take Ann Perkins to South America. I nearly died Ben, and although I live my life to the fullest, it occurred to me that I haven't actually lived my life to the fullest.

...You want me to be the assistant city manager?

Just for a month.

Am I even qualified-

I trust you, Ben.

...Ok.

And that's how he ends up staying in Pawnee, living, well, Chris' life for a little bit.

He tails Chris around the Pawnee government for the week before he goes to Lima, and somehow, he ends up spending most of his time in the Parks department.

"Why don't you spend the money on the empty lot behind my house?" Ann suggests one day as she drops in for lunch.

"Yeah, but you wouldn't be creating any revenue from that," Ben tells her as he picks at a salad. "That's why something like the observatory at Ramset Park would be a good idea to use the cash from the harvest festival for."

"How do you know about my observatory?" Leslie asks him, dropping her fork.

"I read the file on the harvest festival," Ben shrugs, "And I thought it was a great idea."

Leslie beams, and that's the moment where they really begin, he thinks.

Chris and Ann leave on a Tuesday. He and Leslie drive them to the airport, Ben awkwardly patting Chris on the back as he cries a little bit.

"You'll see me in a month, Chris."

"I know, Ben Wyatt, and I'm sure that you will literally be the greatest interim assistant city manager in Pawnee while I am gone, but-"

Ben just stops him with a hug.

"Have a great trip, Chris."

He pretends that he doesn't see Leslie crying on the car ride back, but when she really starts to go for it- "I know it's just a month, but it's Ann!"- he turns around and heads over to J.J's.

They eat waffles and drink hot chocolates, and Leslie tells him more about the pit/park behind Ann's house.

And just like that, they're friends.

It's weird, but since he's been staying in Pawnee, his memories have started to become split into two categories: Before Leslie and After Leslie.

But they're just friends. Friends who do lots of stuff together, and who are both reasonably attractive (Leslie certainly is, he thinks) and who are both single.

Like he said- just friends.

Before he knows it, Ben's been living in Pawnee for two months. And it's time, he knows it's time. He has to make lesson plans, and go to teacher only meetings and jump through bureaucratic hurdles for a couple of weeks before school restarts. And all of this has to take place in Indianapolis. Not in Pawnee where he sits in Chris' office and pretends to have his job.

And it's not- it's not the job that he'll miss. Sure, managing Pawnee's council is fun and different and a nice switch, but it's not something that compels him to change his life. It's... It's his life in Pawnee that he'll miss. He's happy and he doesn't really even know why, because nothing's even changed that much. Chris has been on holiday with Ann for a month, so it's not as if he's been here, and Ben's not in a relationship and hasn't been forming any majorly close friendships...

But then again, there is that unfortunate distraction whose name is Leslie Knope to consider. And as Chris will later tell him, she's a little bit more than a distraction.

"Ben Wyatt! You're just the person that I wanted to talk to! How's Pawnee? I'm sure it's great with you running it, but Tuscany is simply- amazing."

"Hi, Chris." He says, amused.

"What can I do for you, Ben?"

"...Well... I was thinking about maybe... Staying in Pawnee. What do you think?"

"Why are you staying?" Chris asks, and the phone goes tensely silent.

"Well you're here, and there are good schools to work at-"

"Please don't lie to yourself, Ben."

"...I don't know what you mean."

"I think you do, Ben. I think you know why you don't want to leave."

"...Leslie said-"

"Leslie." Chris says. And then for the first time in Ben's life, Chris hangs up on him.

It certainly makes him think.

Almost guiltily- he can't help but look back over his shoulder in his office with about ten other tabs open when he does it- he begins to look at Pawnee's high schools and potential jobs there. He sends some emails and gets some back.

...And nothing. Pawnee doesn't need any new history teachers. And really, really, Ben knew this.

He just wanted them to.

And so, with no other feasible option that he can see, he begins to pack. Chris comes back about a week later with Ann (my fiancée Ann, Ben, she said yes!) in tow.

And that's it. It really, actually is. He goes back to Indianapolis. He plans his classes, meets with the head of the department, and just...

He mopes.

He mopes, and looks at the Lil' Sebastian toy that Leslie gave him when he left- were those tears in her eyes? - For the month until school starts.

And then he takes him to class with him.

"Right," Ben says, walking into his first class of the year- it's nine o'clock on a Monday and he's actually happy to be here- happy to have something to do. "Welcome to sophomore history. Especially to those of you that have been here before," He quips, smiling a little bit at Miles, who's been in this class for three years now. ("I got the unionists and the colonialists confused, Mr. Wyatt!" "Well I wouldn't have taken it again if I knew you were going to change the years we studied, Mr. Wyatt!")

"I'm totally going to pass this year, Mr. Wyatt." He says, and Ben is suddenly struck by how much Miles reminds him of Andy, and by extension, Pawnee.

Oof.

He shakes himself. "Well I hope you all had a good break-"

"What did you do?" A girl asks him in the front, and he falters.

"I- I spent the summer in a town called Pawnee." He says, making his way around the room as he hands course outlines out.

"That's near Eagleton, right?"

"Hmm."

"Eagleton's cool."

"Pawnee's better," he says without thinking about it, and it must be sort of vicious, because the class stares.

"...Force of habit." He explains awkwardly. "Pawnee and Eagleton have a sort of... rivalry going on."

The class doesn't say a word, and Ben thinks to himself that he wouldn't need to explain this if he were teaching Pawnee kids.

The day passes, and then a week's gone, and then a month. He's been here in Indianapolis for a month.

Chris calls him to say that he and Ann are staying in Pawnee for the foreseeable future- "They need a full time City Manager in Pawnee, Ben, and I've been offered the job permanently,"- but no one else calls.

Well no one else would except for Leslie, anyway.

But Leslie doesn't.

(But then again, it's not like he calls her, either. He just sits and stares at the Lil Sebastian that's on his desk.)

"Fuck," He mutters to himself late after school as he's marking some essays. He puts his head in his hands and sinks down low into his desk chair. Because this is the moment that he thinks that he might love her.

...And what the hell is he supposed to do about that, huh?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

He continues with his routine. Back and forth and back and forth and back and forth he goes.

And then it happens.

Halfway into the semester, he gets an email. One of Pawnee Central's history teachers is taking an early retirement after a heart attack, and there's a position open on their staff if he'd like to come down for an interview.

But Ben just sags, because he can't leave. He's under contract for the year in Indianapolis. And it's not just that, either. He has an obligation here. He can't leave his students in the lurch like that so he can run off with a girl who might not even like him.

So he emails back sombrely.

Thank you for the email. I am interested in the position, but unfortunately I'm under contract for the rest of the year here in Indianapolis. Thanks again, Ben Wyatt.

He hovers over the send button for a long, long time.

The thing that Ben doesn't ever consider in his plan- and it's a matter composed of self-doubt and being away from her for so long- is that Leslie might be feeling the same way that he is.

That she might too be looking at maps that show the commute between their workplaces and later their homes. And that she might've also been keeping an eye on job opportunities here for him.

He certainly doesn't consider the fact that she might ever see his email.

Don't underestimate your enemies, they say. Well, sometimes Ben is his own worst enemy.

And he grossly underestimates himself.

Which is how Ben ends up being utterly surprised on Monday morning when he walks into class.

"Hi," He throws the greeting at his first period sophomores as he walks into his second-floor classroom, a coffee in one hand, laptop in the other. "Has anyone found the remote for the projector yet?" He asks.

The class ignore him.

"Who's the chick sitting at your desk?" One of the boys- George- asks instead.

"What?" He says, flicking his head around to look in the left corner of the room that he hasn't reached yet.

"Hi," She says, a smile clearly trying to break through her pursed lips, her eyes wide and bright, just like they always are.

He shakes his head, his mouth open a little bit. "I...Leslie," He says breathlessly. "What- What are you..."

"You." She tells him simply, staring at him in the same way that he's staring at her, he's sure. "I missed you," She tells him with a shrug and a little nervous laugh.

A smile breaks over his face, and he closes his eyes for a second, taking all of this in, letting the feeling of happiness settle into his bones.

"I-" And then he remembers that there are 28 teenager staring at him and Leslie.

"I should probably send you outside for disturbing my class," He says.

"Alright then, Mean Ben," She sighs jokingly, standing up to walk out of the room. "I'll be outside."

"Right," He says breathlessly. "Right." He says again, this time quietly, to himself.

He stumbles, frantically putting down his things before rushing towards the door that Leslie's just closed.

"Uh... Chapter five in your text book," he says. "Read that." He tells his class as he grasps the door knob and pulls.

She's waiting for him across the hallway, and he feels like he's sixteen again, awkward and desperate and ridiculously nervous.

"It's weird being back at school," She tells him, sliding down a row of lockers so she's sitting on the floor.

He joins her. "Well, I'm here every day, so..."

She laughs a little bit.

He opens his mouth to talk, and they're so close that she can hear him inhale sharply, and then falter because he's nervous.

"...You're here." He finally says, settling on words.

"I am," she murmurs, the both of them turning slightly so they're angled towards each other.

"...Not that I'm not the happiest I've been for a month," He says, "But... why are you her?"

At this, Leslie's face grows a little bit guarded. "Well," She says in a happy sort of tone, "I just... I just..."

She stops. She stops talking and simply looks at him, her mask falling and tears forming in her eyes.

"You applied for a job at Central Pawnee?" She asks him quietly.

"I asked around before I left," He desperately tries to explain, "But there was nothing there, Leslie. I didn't- I didn't want to leave, I didn't want to leave you, but-"

He doesn't get to finish, because instead, Leslie slams into him, her arms snaking around his neck, her lips finding his.

He gasps a little bit before kissing her back, his hands finding her waist, his lips pressing harder and harder against hers, until-

"...Oh my god!"

Frantically Leslie and Ben snap apart, standing up guiltily.

"Kate," He says, coughing and running his hand through his mused up hair. "Um... What..."

"...I slept through my alarm this morning." She whispers at her teacher, holding out a late slip with a very red face.

Ben imagines he looks rather the same.

"Right," He says, taking it from her awkwardly. "Inside we're just... reading." Ben tells her, and Kate scuttles off, grateful to have an excuse to leave.

As soon as she's inside, Ben groans, hitting his head against the back of the lockers. But then he looks at Leslie and they both start to laugh.

"This is your fault." He tells her.

"How do you figure that, Benji?" She asks him with a smirk.

"Who kissed who here?"

She just scoffs. "Like you weren't going to go there if I didn't."

"Maybe I wouldn't have," He breathes, stepping closer so that their foreheads are nearly touching.

"Yeah?" She murmurs.

"No." He admits, before kissing her again.

The smile on her face when they break apart makes him feel invincible. Like together they can work out anything.

...And maybe they can.