UH THIS POST IS SO NOT WORTH THE BACKDATING MESS. FUCK YOU, LJ. FUCKING ROT.
it's about 9am on saturday and im in a good mood.
here is why.
i don't have the man i love, but i'll always have myself. and im far from perfect, but im not that bad. i've always known like a jolt of lightning that id never meet someone who could replace him in my heart but also in the stereotypical role society put him in; him being a man. me being a woman. when in actuality, im like a little female baby animal. my mom knows this as well. it doesnt bother me though b/c there's no point in wasting energy changing something that will never change......mainly b/c i dont want to be a Woman. so i never will be. it makes sense.
no one ever will replace him for the rest of my life. not that i like that. but if you're with yourself forever, are you ever really alone? i think it depends on the person. and i have so many ppl living inside me and so many personalities and ideas.....i'll never really be alone. i thank my acting training for that. once you realize that you can potentially get into the mind of someone who isnt you, you realize there are no limits. i think if ppl want to take that into consideration, they def should.
right now, im making ravioli from vermont. the pouches of the raviolis have black beans and habanero peppers inside of them. not to sound like a dooshy precious blogger but, that makes me happy.
anyway. i want to enjoy the day. i want to drive to the new whole foods in dupont circle. at jury duty a while back, one of the girls sitting by me told me she works there and that they have the most amazing layout of any of the dc branches. and i didnt even know there was one in dupont! i love visiting new grocery stores for the FIRST time, but mainly exoticy ones. it might sound pedestrian but it keeps my senses feeling fresh. and that lets me know im still alive. and im ok with that. in any case, i eat like a gluttonous pet dog and this place is constantly sucked dry of all the overpriced shit you have to buy if you live in a big city, and i am really bad at buying tons of food at a time. i buy like, a bag of groceries at a time. i just buy what interests me. i get so bored with most food in the stores. last nite i went to safeway in the hopes of stocking up on some REAL food and then as i was laying everything from my basket out on the moving belt at the register, i realized all i bought was diet coke, smoothie drinks, toilet paper and my supplements. i was like 'fuck. i didnt buy any food. fuck.' but yknow what? i didnt see any food id want to eat. and that is why it sucks to be me. jk. *praises god for whole foods and trader joes, i guess* ANYWAY. whatever. im just trying to be my best version of normal. which hopefully wont always involve babbling about mind numbing crap like this. xo
here is why.
i don't have the man i love, but i'll always have myself. and im far from perfect, but im not that bad. i've always known like a jolt of lightning that id never meet someone who could replace him in my heart but also in the stereotypical role society put him in; him being a man. me being a woman. when in actuality, im like a little female baby animal. my mom knows this as well. it doesnt bother me though b/c there's no point in wasting energy changing something that will never change......mainly b/c i dont want to be a Woman. so i never will be. it makes sense.
no one ever will replace him for the rest of my life. not that i like that. but if you're with yourself forever, are you ever really alone? i think it depends on the person. and i have so many ppl living inside me and so many personalities and ideas.....i'll never really be alone. i thank my acting training for that. once you realize that you can potentially get into the mind of someone who isnt you, you realize there are no limits. i think if ppl want to take that into consideration, they def should.
right now, im making ravioli from vermont. the pouches of the raviolis have black beans and habanero peppers inside of them. not to sound like a dooshy precious blogger but, that makes me happy.
anyway. i want to enjoy the day. i want to drive to the new whole foods in dupont circle. at jury duty a while back, one of the girls sitting by me told me she works there and that they have the most amazing layout of any of the dc branches. and i didnt even know there was one in dupont! i love visiting new grocery stores for the FIRST time, but mainly exoticy ones. it might sound pedestrian but it keeps my senses feeling fresh. and that lets me know im still alive. and im ok with that. in any case, i eat like a gluttonous pet dog and this place is constantly sucked dry of all the overpriced shit you have to buy if you live in a big city, and i am really bad at buying tons of food at a time. i buy like, a bag of groceries at a time. i just buy what interests me. i get so bored with most food in the stores. last nite i went to safeway in the hopes of stocking up on some REAL food and then as i was laying everything from my basket out on the moving belt at the register, i realized all i bought was diet coke, smoothie drinks, toilet paper and my supplements. i was like 'fuck. i didnt buy any food. fuck.' but yknow what? i didnt see any food id want to eat. and that is why it sucks to be me. jk. *praises god for whole foods and trader joes, i guess* ANYWAY. whatever. im just trying to be my best version of normal. which hopefully wont always involve babbling about mind numbing crap like this. xo