21 in September
I'm going to be 21 next month. I still live at home, and I haven't worked in a couple months, although I'm still technically employed. My car died last night, which prompted another serious talk with my mom about how I have no direction in life. I want to move out right this second, but I don't know how. I don't have any money, or a car to go job hunting with. Plus the idea scares me. The idea of having to pay for insurance and medical and all that shit. I don't even know how to go about these grown-up things. I want to know, and I want to be able to do it myself. But I'm still shitting my pants at the thought. I just want to make these films and be on my way, but it's taking so long. People are unreliable, and what I want to do depends so much on others. Time is burning away before my eyes. I have 274 dollars saved up. I don't know what I can do with that. I might be working on a music video with Myron Ward--a paying gig, possibly. The band is supposed to front the money, and if there isn't much, we're really not going to bother with it. But where will I go?