Mykhael: Sleeping
((Dyna and Thoran give Myk -all the things- to muse about. Also all the potential baws))
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17M_pWtRsew
Another morning, and a fine one. My sister in law's leaving for Moonglade soon, so she'll be safe fer a few weeks at least. Fanny told her, due to size, that shifting to a cat or a bear are things she can try now, way the bones move shouldn't hurt th' wee ones. Gave Leanan some new goals, even if the bird form is flat out. Takes proper Druids a long time to learn that one anyhow. I am losing my go-to babysitter though, when I'm at work. Wonder if Arwain'd be all right with taking Thoran that often, gotta see.
Other things pressing harder on my mind, though. Three weeks. Dyna, Tremaine and them, maybe me, will be facing down the...thing, for hopefully the last time, in three weeks. Her vision of her fate aint changed, aint changed how she dies. Dyna puts far more faith in it than I do though, and I'm not sure which one of us is more right about that. Nothing's set in stone, though. Don't care what anyone, even a bronze has to say about that.
...I can't lose her. I don't know how to make it not happen, not for sure. But I told her tonight, and I'm gonna keep telling her, not to fight like she knows death is comin'. Just to fight like she wants to live. And that if she does....if we both do...she gets to go right on fighting. She gets to be Thoran's mum and see 'im grow up. We can be together 'til we're old and grey and scarred up beyond recognizing. She told me she needs me...need her too. Much as she drives me nuts, I'm too far gone by now. I love her and nothing gets to take her.
...Ma O'Donnelly always did joke, that iffin her sons didn't have the chase, they'd not know what to do with a lass. Think Dyna being the way she is...she's true to her word, mind, and loyal, all them good things. But I'll never know her whole mind. She might always run before talking, hit before crying, kick before kissin'. I'll always be trying to have a hold on her, close as she stays. Makes me work harder. Makes her all the more worth having. And now that I do have her, I aint gonna accept that all we have is three more weeks.
And on the same page, I know I have to face it like any fight. I could lose her. And I'd still have a son to keep on trudging for. I will, I will do that if I have to.
-IF- I have to. I'm not accepting it as my certainty, that I lose her, that she dies. And I won't let her accept it either.
She got me musing on my Pa tonight, my real one. Never much realized how his words have stuck with me over the years. S'Ironic really, I've spent so many years thinking he'd want nothing to do with me, were he alive now. Now lookin' down at myself, specially as the wolf...I became the kinda son he wanted, after he cast me out. Hell I'm living with a gal he'd have given his right leg to call his child. Being under-estimated drove me to be who I am.
...Hope I can give my own son drive without being an arse. But then, he's half-orc. World'll give him enough adversity. His family'll make up for it.
Rambling on and on. Had a purdy, scarred-up Paladin next to me in this bed a bit ago, but she had to be off to see to her friend. Dyna's looking after her young-like gal, Dianne, in my old flat in the city. I swear that gal collects nutty homeless urchins like other folk collect teddy bears. S'gotta good heart in her, though, can't jest leave 'em be, has to make sure they're taken care of. Wouldn't want her any other way.
...I got a baby pokin' at my tattoos. Think he likes the bright colors. I wonder, iffin he'll be a mage...something tells me no right off, though. He'll be strong, whatever his talents, aye. Still, slap some Highland ink on him when he's of age, be the fiercest defender of the homelands...
I like thinkin' on the future. Gotta get Dyna doing the same. Cause even if we....well. Least we'll have lived it in our heads, aye?
- Myk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17M_pWtRsew
Another morning, and a fine one. My sister in law's leaving for Moonglade soon, so she'll be safe fer a few weeks at least. Fanny told her, due to size, that shifting to a cat or a bear are things she can try now, way the bones move shouldn't hurt th' wee ones. Gave Leanan some new goals, even if the bird form is flat out. Takes proper Druids a long time to learn that one anyhow. I am losing my go-to babysitter though, when I'm at work. Wonder if Arwain'd be all right with taking Thoran that often, gotta see.
Other things pressing harder on my mind, though. Three weeks. Dyna, Tremaine and them, maybe me, will be facing down the...thing, for hopefully the last time, in three weeks. Her vision of her fate aint changed, aint changed how she dies. Dyna puts far more faith in it than I do though, and I'm not sure which one of us is more right about that. Nothing's set in stone, though. Don't care what anyone, even a bronze has to say about that.
...I can't lose her. I don't know how to make it not happen, not for sure. But I told her tonight, and I'm gonna keep telling her, not to fight like she knows death is comin'. Just to fight like she wants to live. And that if she does....if we both do...she gets to go right on fighting. She gets to be Thoran's mum and see 'im grow up. We can be together 'til we're old and grey and scarred up beyond recognizing. She told me she needs me...need her too. Much as she drives me nuts, I'm too far gone by now. I love her and nothing gets to take her.
...Ma O'Donnelly always did joke, that iffin her sons didn't have the chase, they'd not know what to do with a lass. Think Dyna being the way she is...she's true to her word, mind, and loyal, all them good things. But I'll never know her whole mind. She might always run before talking, hit before crying, kick before kissin'. I'll always be trying to have a hold on her, close as she stays. Makes me work harder. Makes her all the more worth having. And now that I do have her, I aint gonna accept that all we have is three more weeks.
And on the same page, I know I have to face it like any fight. I could lose her. And I'd still have a son to keep on trudging for. I will, I will do that if I have to.
-IF- I have to. I'm not accepting it as my certainty, that I lose her, that she dies. And I won't let her accept it either.
She got me musing on my Pa tonight, my real one. Never much realized how his words have stuck with me over the years. S'Ironic really, I've spent so many years thinking he'd want nothing to do with me, were he alive now. Now lookin' down at myself, specially as the wolf...I became the kinda son he wanted, after he cast me out. Hell I'm living with a gal he'd have given his right leg to call his child. Being under-estimated drove me to be who I am.
...Hope I can give my own son drive without being an arse. But then, he's half-orc. World'll give him enough adversity. His family'll make up for it.
Rambling on and on. Had a purdy, scarred-up Paladin next to me in this bed a bit ago, but she had to be off to see to her friend. Dyna's looking after her young-like gal, Dianne, in my old flat in the city. I swear that gal collects nutty homeless urchins like other folk collect teddy bears. S'gotta good heart in her, though, can't jest leave 'em be, has to make sure they're taken care of. Wouldn't want her any other way.
...I got a baby pokin' at my tattoos. Think he likes the bright colors. I wonder, iffin he'll be a mage...something tells me no right off, though. He'll be strong, whatever his talents, aye. Still, slap some Highland ink on him when he's of age, be the fiercest defender of the homelands...
I like thinkin' on the future. Gotta get Dyna doing the same. Cause even if we....well. Least we'll have lived it in our heads, aye?
- Myk