The Wedding Journey: The Big Day
Hey people!
When I think back about my big day, my heart is filled with sheer gratitude - grateful for all the help that my loved ones have given me; grateful at how everything went according to plan and grateful that all my worries were uncalled for.
Although things were smooth, I will not attempt to paint a perfect, fairytale picture of my wedding.
Instead, I will share the ups and downs of wedding planning which all couples might face, as well as my feelings during my big day.
Waking up early, but with excitement and energy
I knew from the start that I wanted a fuss-free wedding and had kept the programme simple so that we need not bother ourselves with hassles and frills. Having a wedding lunch also meant that my day started as early as 5am, and it was packed with multiple but essential segments from then till 4pm. Tiring? You bet. But was it worth it? Oh yes.
I tried to get as much sleep as possible the night before, but my heart was too excited and I woke up feeling ready to charge.
Gatecrash turned out to be funny and memorable
We did not want a gatecrash at first but ironically, it was YX that suggested having a gatecrash so that the wedding highlights video would be interesting.
Wasabi toothpaste, anyone?
I got to hand it to my bridesmaids, Jessie, Meryl and Linda for planning and facilitating the gatecrash so creatively.
When I looked at the wedding highlights video, I was laughing my ass off.
My bridesmaids were certainly not lenient to the groomsmen at all, and their conversations were hilarious!
We had neither fancy themes nor expensive outfits for the gatecrash either.
We went for simple flower dresses and Hawaiian T-shirts to suit a beach theme, since YX confessed and also proposed to me on a beach.
Exchanging of rings during solemnization
Soleminization and Tea Ceremony did not overrun, so PHEW!
When we were planning the solemnization and tea ceremony, I was worried that they would overrun and affect the commencement of the banquet.
Serving tea to the eldest - YX's grandmother
'Receiving tea' from the youngest - my niece Astrid
Thankfully, both segments went according to plan, even when there were latecomers for the tea ceremony (we had no choice but to skip them).
I wrote my own vows for my solemnization and willed myself not to cry while reading them to YX.
March-ins felt more magical than I expected
Only my bridesmaids and my husband would know how worried I was to march in during my banquet.
I had trouble walking in my gowns prior to the big day because I was constantly stepping on the can-can skirt and tripping over. I was very convinced that I would stumble during my march-ins. YX tried to help me by holding my gown, but he was constantly holding it too stiffly and too high. Gotta thank my bridesmaids for adjusting our hands around my gowns so that we would look good when we march in.
Standing outside the door waiting for it to open was nerve-wracking because I knew that all eyes would be on the bride. As it turned out, the experience was more magical than I thought.
When the door opened and I stepped into the ballroom, I saw the faces of the people who are important to me. They come from all walks of my life, and was a reminder of my life journey from youth to adulthood. Besides my relatives, my friends from secondary school, junior college and university were there; and so were my colleagues and ex-colleagues. My family of influencers took up two tables, forming the largest group of friends that I have known for as long as 10 years. I even have friends who came alone despite not knowing anyone at all, just because they wanted to be there to celebrate this special occasion with me.
As I marched on to a meaningful wedding song that YX and I chose together, I watched my guests cheer and clap loudly as they threw flower petals at us. These are the people who are supportive of YX and my relationship for the past years, and they were there to celebrate for us as we step into the next life stage together. I could not help but smile genuinely as my heart lifted and I forgot what I was worried about. Wait, but what about tripping over my wedding gowns? Interestingly, that did not happen and when I looked at all the videos and photos I was tagged in, damn, I actually looked pretty good and calm walking down the aisle!
Be Prepared for Arguments with Each Other
Happy things aside, let us move on to the 'not so good' things.
I may not be a bridezilla, but I am no perfect bride either. Having years of experience planning events also meant that I held the reins automatically when it comes to planning this wedding.
YX is an amazing help throughout the process and I am fortunate that my husband is NOT the kind of the guy who sits back, shakes his legs and leaves me to do everything on my own. Nonetheless, we were not spared from arguments either. There were times when I was frustrated that we were not in sync, and other times, I pissed him off unintentionally by being bossy, instructional and a worrywart.
The thing is, couples will argue when planning a wedding because it involves big decisions that you have to make together. It may also involve other people, and sometimes money. You might not see it but planning a wedding is actually just a first step of planning more important things together in the future.
When YX and I quarrel, we typically give each other a peace of our mind, but we also take a time out before talking again. When we make up, we apologize, accommodate and compromise.
Parents sheltering me with a red umbrella to ward off negative elements
Be Prepared for Quarrels with Parents
Another group of people you will quarrel with are your parents. I have not seen any couple that did not quarrel with their parents before their big day.
That is very common because your parents are the co-hosts of the wedding. Even if they are not paying for the wedding, they are involved in the decision-making process. I had a traditional Chinese wedding, but I know little about traditional Chinese customs, so my parents do get annoyed with me when I miss out essential details that are important to them.
Throwing a fan out of the bridal car window to symbolise leaving behind my past and moving on to a fresh start
Likewise, I was mad with my parents for not bothering to send out my 'Save the Date' electronic direct mailer over Whatsapp to book my relatives' time early, but later realized that it was because they were used to another method of invitations: writing and personally delivering their invitation cards to my relatives.
Quarrels are inevitable, so to ease things up, it helps to think from the other party's perspective. My parents had my interest at heart, but they just had a different way of reaching the same goal.
My largest group of friends at my wedding - my influencer fam!
Be Prepared for Last Minute Attrition
There will be guests who would not turn up at your wedding at the last minute, despite prior reminders and confirmations. It could be because they fell ill; got held up at work or had to attend to a family emergency.
If you are not prepared for such things to happen, you will be HOPPING MAD at every person who turns you down. What YX and I did was to prepare ourselves early for last minute attrition. This includes preparing ourselves mentally to be 'okay' with people dropping out. We also catered less food for the number of guests per table, so that there will not be an overabundance of food when people drop out. Say no to food waste!
General Thoughts
In general, are there other things that I was grateful for?
Well, not crying while reading my speech, which I spent a good amount of hours writing and practising it.
It was my first time public-speaking in front of my loved ones even though I was used to being an emcee at work events, and also my first time thanking my parents on stage in Mandarin. I hope they are proud of me.
My bestie, Bev was my emcee and words cannot describe how much it meant to me for her to play such a big role in my wedding.
This was the girl who had watched me go in and out of failed relationships; who had pulled me up from my break-up and depression; and who had dedicated her time to listen to me cry like a baby over the phone during my down times. When I was prepared to embrace singlehood forever, she reminded me that I have hope to find a partner. That day, she not only witnessed me walk down the aisle; she also announced my march-ins. I have never been more happy in my life.
My big day went by more quickly than I expected, and before I knew it, I was bidding farewells, hugging guests and taking last minute pictures at the door by 4pm. Your wedding is the only day that all the people who are important to you are celebrating your joy so relish in this moment as long as it lasts.
My parents may complain about being tired and stressed, but they were honestly 'low-key' happy to see me married, even if their faces do not show it. For these reasons, despite the stress, quarrels and money pumped into this wedding, it was still worth it. Although I could finally take a breather from my wedding, I will remember this wonderful day for as long as I live. :)
When I think back about my big day, my heart is filled with sheer gratitude - grateful for all the help that my loved ones have given me; grateful at how everything went according to plan and grateful that all my worries were uncalled for.
Although things were smooth, I will not attempt to paint a perfect, fairytale picture of my wedding.
Instead, I will share the ups and downs of wedding planning which all couples might face, as well as my feelings during my big day.
Waking up early, but with excitement and energy
I knew from the start that I wanted a fuss-free wedding and had kept the programme simple so that we need not bother ourselves with hassles and frills. Having a wedding lunch also meant that my day started as early as 5am, and it was packed with multiple but essential segments from then till 4pm. Tiring? You bet. But was it worth it? Oh yes.
I tried to get as much sleep as possible the night before, but my heart was too excited and I woke up feeling ready to charge.
Gatecrash turned out to be funny and memorable
We did not want a gatecrash at first but ironically, it was YX that suggested having a gatecrash so that the wedding highlights video would be interesting.
Wasabi toothpaste, anyone?
I got to hand it to my bridesmaids, Jessie, Meryl and Linda for planning and facilitating the gatecrash so creatively.
When I looked at the wedding highlights video, I was laughing my ass off.
My bridesmaids were certainly not lenient to the groomsmen at all, and their conversations were hilarious!
We had neither fancy themes nor expensive outfits for the gatecrash either.
We went for simple flower dresses and Hawaiian T-shirts to suit a beach theme, since YX confessed and also proposed to me on a beach.
Exchanging of rings during solemnization
Soleminization and Tea Ceremony did not overrun, so PHEW!
When we were planning the solemnization and tea ceremony, I was worried that they would overrun and affect the commencement of the banquet.
Serving tea to the eldest - YX's grandmother
'Receiving tea' from the youngest - my niece Astrid
Thankfully, both segments went according to plan, even when there were latecomers for the tea ceremony (we had no choice but to skip them).
I wrote my own vows for my solemnization and willed myself not to cry while reading them to YX.
March-ins felt more magical than I expected
Only my bridesmaids and my husband would know how worried I was to march in during my banquet.
I had trouble walking in my gowns prior to the big day because I was constantly stepping on the can-can skirt and tripping over. I was very convinced that I would stumble during my march-ins. YX tried to help me by holding my gown, but he was constantly holding it too stiffly and too high. Gotta thank my bridesmaids for adjusting our hands around my gowns so that we would look good when we march in.
Standing outside the door waiting for it to open was nerve-wracking because I knew that all eyes would be on the bride. As it turned out, the experience was more magical than I thought.
When the door opened and I stepped into the ballroom, I saw the faces of the people who are important to me. They come from all walks of my life, and was a reminder of my life journey from youth to adulthood. Besides my relatives, my friends from secondary school, junior college and university were there; and so were my colleagues and ex-colleagues. My family of influencers took up two tables, forming the largest group of friends that I have known for as long as 10 years. I even have friends who came alone despite not knowing anyone at all, just because they wanted to be there to celebrate this special occasion with me.
As I marched on to a meaningful wedding song that YX and I chose together, I watched my guests cheer and clap loudly as they threw flower petals at us. These are the people who are supportive of YX and my relationship for the past years, and they were there to celebrate for us as we step into the next life stage together. I could not help but smile genuinely as my heart lifted and I forgot what I was worried about. Wait, but what about tripping over my wedding gowns? Interestingly, that did not happen and when I looked at all the videos and photos I was tagged in, damn, I actually looked pretty good and calm walking down the aisle!
Be Prepared for Arguments with Each Other
Happy things aside, let us move on to the 'not so good' things.
I may not be a bridezilla, but I am no perfect bride either. Having years of experience planning events also meant that I held the reins automatically when it comes to planning this wedding.
YX is an amazing help throughout the process and I am fortunate that my husband is NOT the kind of the guy who sits back, shakes his legs and leaves me to do everything on my own. Nonetheless, we were not spared from arguments either. There were times when I was frustrated that we were not in sync, and other times, I pissed him off unintentionally by being bossy, instructional and a worrywart.
The thing is, couples will argue when planning a wedding because it involves big decisions that you have to make together. It may also involve other people, and sometimes money. You might not see it but planning a wedding is actually just a first step of planning more important things together in the future.
When YX and I quarrel, we typically give each other a peace of our mind, but we also take a time out before talking again. When we make up, we apologize, accommodate and compromise.
Parents sheltering me with a red umbrella to ward off negative elements
Be Prepared for Quarrels with Parents
Another group of people you will quarrel with are your parents. I have not seen any couple that did not quarrel with their parents before their big day.
That is very common because your parents are the co-hosts of the wedding. Even if they are not paying for the wedding, they are involved in the decision-making process. I had a traditional Chinese wedding, but I know little about traditional Chinese customs, so my parents do get annoyed with me when I miss out essential details that are important to them.
Throwing a fan out of the bridal car window to symbolise leaving behind my past and moving on to a fresh start
Likewise, I was mad with my parents for not bothering to send out my 'Save the Date' electronic direct mailer over Whatsapp to book my relatives' time early, but later realized that it was because they were used to another method of invitations: writing and personally delivering their invitation cards to my relatives.
Quarrels are inevitable, so to ease things up, it helps to think from the other party's perspective. My parents had my interest at heart, but they just had a different way of reaching the same goal.
My largest group of friends at my wedding - my influencer fam!
Be Prepared for Last Minute Attrition
There will be guests who would not turn up at your wedding at the last minute, despite prior reminders and confirmations. It could be because they fell ill; got held up at work or had to attend to a family emergency.
If you are not prepared for such things to happen, you will be HOPPING MAD at every person who turns you down. What YX and I did was to prepare ourselves early for last minute attrition. This includes preparing ourselves mentally to be 'okay' with people dropping out. We also catered less food for the number of guests per table, so that there will not be an overabundance of food when people drop out. Say no to food waste!
General Thoughts
In general, are there other things that I was grateful for?
Well, not crying while reading my speech, which I spent a good amount of hours writing and practising it.
It was my first time public-speaking in front of my loved ones even though I was used to being an emcee at work events, and also my first time thanking my parents on stage in Mandarin. I hope they are proud of me.
My bestie, Bev was my emcee and words cannot describe how much it meant to me for her to play such a big role in my wedding.
This was the girl who had watched me go in and out of failed relationships; who had pulled me up from my break-up and depression; and who had dedicated her time to listen to me cry like a baby over the phone during my down times. When I was prepared to embrace singlehood forever, she reminded me that I have hope to find a partner. That day, she not only witnessed me walk down the aisle; she also announced my march-ins. I have never been more happy in my life.
My big day went by more quickly than I expected, and before I knew it, I was bidding farewells, hugging guests and taking last minute pictures at the door by 4pm. Your wedding is the only day that all the people who are important to you are celebrating your joy so relish in this moment as long as it lasts.
My parents may complain about being tired and stressed, but they were honestly 'low-key' happy to see me married, even if their faces do not show it. For these reasons, despite the stress, quarrels and money pumped into this wedding, it was still worth it. Although I could finally take a breather from my wedding, I will remember this wonderful day for as long as I live. :)