I'm not even out of bed and I'm falling apart
Do you ever just feel blank? It’s a terrible way to feel, just floating along with no direction. You don’t know how you are supposed to feel, or even how you would want to feel. It’s a cloud that darkens everything and leaves you gasping for air. You try to occupy your mind with art and books and writing and friends, but nothing seems to contain the same excitement that it once did. It is as if the volume to everything has suddenly been turned down. You are left with that sickening ringing in your ears, and you wonder where the music went. Life seems pointless, despite all the things that tell you its not. You feel apathetic and empty, and nothing can change that. Cigarette after cigarette, this feeling-or lack of feeling-remains. It’s just one of those things that nothing can help. You are forced to wait it out, although there is no way of telling how long it will last.