(Untitled)

[gillpolack]

Right now, I spend between 30 minutes and 180 minute a day, every day, answering questions, listening, chatting about subjects of concern. Mostly from friends, but also from friends of friends. Sometimes it's work related, sometimes it's personal

Comments

[cmcmck]

Now why did I read infodump as hefalump?

I'm reading a book about an elephant called Hans atm so that may be it! :o)

[radiantfracture]

I'm sorry that the conversations are one-sided -- it sounds a bit lonely, even in the midst of all this increased contact.

{rf}

[negothick]

As the Gothic specialist, it's my job to be morbid, so apologies in advance.
You're describing what most people don't notice until they've lost a close relative--that most condolence calls (in person or virtual) are spent talking about the one doing the condoling rather than the one receiving them. I've listened in at a number of occasions of shiva, I've even led minyans at them, and people really do not know how to comfort mourners.

Guess the same holds for visiting and "comforting" the sick. . .it's all about the people doing the visiting.
Still, would you rather have the "Friends of Job," who give you unwanted advice and tell you that you deserve your suffering? Better to hear other peoples' troubles than that!

[watervole]

Indeed, it's either talking about the sick person's ailments (which you assume they would rather be distracted from) or finding another topic of conversation. Hence, people start talking about themselves and their lives. They ask for advice, partly because they need it and partly because they want you to feel valued.

[gillpolack]

I've had this whenever I've been in mourning - that's not the newness (it first happened to me when my grandfather died and I was under 10). The newness is the amount of advice (remember, I'm single and live alone and my family is not nearby) and that there's no mourning involved. I used the sickbed to illustrate.