Man Laws:
Man Laws:
1) When toasting, touch bottles, not tops
2) Crunching beer cans on forehead is lame
3) High-5 stays until a replacement is found
4) Girl breaks up with your best friend she is breaking up with you, unless she is drop-dead gorgeous, then 6-months until you are allowed to date her
5) Tuck Rule: Take one beer home if it will fit in your pocket
6) You poke it, you own it
7) It takes a real man to cry, unless that man is crying like a sissy
8) There are no "bad hair" days, only "baseball cap" days
9) There is a 15 minute maximum for a man to prepare himself to go out at night
10) A man shall never ask another man if the shirt that he is wearing makes him look fat
11) A man must pour one ounce of his beer into coals while grilling
12) If a snake catches a man off guard, it is totally acceptable for the man to scream once
13) A man shall never give up on his team until they are officially eliminated
14) Remember that looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun, quick glances
15) There are no leftovers when eating steak
16) It is completely acceptable for a man to use his dog as a wingman
17) The wearing of socks with sandals is henceforth forbidden
18) Your house, Your rules
19) When there is a tornado or hurricane coming, grab a beer and run outside and watch it
20) Saturday + Sunday are for Football
21) No man is to wear a beret unless it is required for their services
22) A man has bragging rights if his teams defeats the team of another until the next meeting of the two teams
23) When lifting weights it is ok for a man to wear compression shorts under his gym shorts. However, a man shall never wear compression shorts alone
24) Men don't listen to Sammy Hagar songs
25) It is okay to cry when a song is played, but only if you are drunk, and the song is a country tune by Cash, Haggerd and the like. It is not okay if you are drunk and start crying because the song playing was "your and her's special song"
26) Bros before hoes
27) No man shall eat anything smaller than his pinky, unless it is candy, beans, peas, or popcorn
28) The only exceptable food is carb-heavy, cholestorol heavy protien, when eating with other men
29) No man shall ride in a yellow car, unless it is a taxi
30) A man is allowed to own and operate a garden, but he must refer to it as farming
31) No man should ask another man to help him move unless he has known him for over a year. A case of beer will we required as payment upon the sucessful move.
32) Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question
33) Come to a man with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for
34) Anything that needs to be said can wait for commercials
35) Christopher Columbus did not read directions, and neither will you
36) If it itches, it will be scratched
37) Foreign films are best left to foreigners (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway)
38) Standard Shotgun Rules apply at all times
39) No guest is permitted to sit in host's Lay-z-boy
40) No man shall bring his female counterpart to a poker game
1) When toasting, touch bottles, not tops
2) Crunching beer cans on forehead is lame
3) High-5 stays until a replacement is found
4) Girl breaks up with your best friend she is breaking up with you, unless she is drop-dead gorgeous, then 6-months until you are allowed to date her
5) Tuck Rule: Take one beer home if it will fit in your pocket
6) You poke it, you own it
7) It takes a real man to cry, unless that man is crying like a sissy
8) There are no "bad hair" days, only "baseball cap" days
9) There is a 15 minute maximum for a man to prepare himself to go out at night
10) A man shall never ask another man if the shirt that he is wearing makes him look fat
11) A man must pour one ounce of his beer into coals while grilling
12) If a snake catches a man off guard, it is totally acceptable for the man to scream once
13) A man shall never give up on his team until they are officially eliminated
14) Remember that looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun, quick glances
15) There are no leftovers when eating steak
16) It is completely acceptable for a man to use his dog as a wingman
17) The wearing of socks with sandals is henceforth forbidden
18) Your house, Your rules
19) When there is a tornado or hurricane coming, grab a beer and run outside and watch it
20) Saturday + Sunday are for Football
21) No man is to wear a beret unless it is required for their services
22) A man has bragging rights if his teams defeats the team of another until the next meeting of the two teams
23) When lifting weights it is ok for a man to wear compression shorts under his gym shorts. However, a man shall never wear compression shorts alone
24) Men don't listen to Sammy Hagar songs
25) It is okay to cry when a song is played, but only if you are drunk, and the song is a country tune by Cash, Haggerd and the like. It is not okay if you are drunk and start crying because the song playing was "your and her's special song"
26) Bros before hoes
27) No man shall eat anything smaller than his pinky, unless it is candy, beans, peas, or popcorn
28) The only exceptable food is carb-heavy, cholestorol heavy protien, when eating with other men
29) No man shall ride in a yellow car, unless it is a taxi
30) A man is allowed to own and operate a garden, but he must refer to it as farming
31) No man should ask another man to help him move unless he has known him for over a year. A case of beer will we required as payment upon the sucessful move.
32) Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question
33) Come to a man with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for
34) Anything that needs to be said can wait for commercials
35) Christopher Columbus did not read directions, and neither will you
36) If it itches, it will be scratched
37) Foreign films are best left to foreigners (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway)
38) Standard Shotgun Rules apply at all times
39) No guest is permitted to sit in host's Lay-z-boy
40) No man shall bring his female counterpart to a poker game