JUST SKIP THIS ONE...it's not very good reading.
I am going to try writing today in order to help myself get out of this slump I have been in for the past few weeks. Now on the surface, things seem to be O.K. I am very happy with Jen and the new place. I am scheduled to go to some really cool concerts over the next few months (The Doors, Warped Tour, BBVD, Violent Femmes, Social Distortion, Mest, Mary Prankster). Yet I still feel like my life has reached a plateau from which I must break away. There is nothing new and exciting to report in my world. Work is lame and boring. I feel like I get no sense of reward for all of my efforts. The lack of mental stimulation hurts my brain and makes me restless. I can only read so much CNN, livejournal, and craigslist in one day before I start to crack. I have also fallen off my workout routine. After losing almost 20 pounds, I have somehow lost my personal motivation to continue. I still admit that from time to time, I think about the way things use to be....Friday nights, the phone ringing off the hook w/ friends looking to hang out and have a good time. All the parties at 412. Spending quality time with quality friends wishing the night would never end. Now a days, it seems like I have to beg some people just to come and hang out. I suppose I only have myself to blame. Things got pretty out of control for a while back there and I may have caused a few of my "good friends" to distance themselves from me. The phone calls have stopped. The parties are no more. And now, I spend many nights wishing that I wasn't so lame and going to bed at 11:30. I hold no grudges though. I accept full responsibility for my actions as well as the consequences that followed. I know that all of this seems like I am just throwing a pity party for myself and, well, I guess, at least in some respect, it's true. Maybe I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Maybe I am just being stupid for writing this. Maybe I need to just shake up my life and find something new and exciting to do with my time. But what?
There's a time and place, for everything.
There's a reason why, certain people meet.
There's a destination, for everyone.
What's the explanation, when we're done?
All the summer nights spent wondering;
So many questions asked, but no one's answering.
Would it be okay if I left today?
Took my chances on what you said was wrong?
I'm jaded, stupid, and wreckless.
Not sorry, and I'll never regret.
These years spent, so faded and wreckless.
Not sorry, and I'll never regret these years.
I'll never regret these years.
Now here i sit, so far away.
Remembering all our memories.
Its times like these that I miss you most,
Remembering when we were so close.
I'm jaded, stupid, and wreckless.
Not sorry, we'll never regret.
These years spent, so faded and wreckless.
Not sorry, and I'll never regret these years.
If I could pick one word to describe how I'm feeling right about life right now, it would definitely be Jaded.
There's a time and place, for everything.
There's a reason why, certain people meet.
There's a destination, for everyone.
What's the explanation, when we're done?
All the summer nights spent wondering;
So many questions asked, but no one's answering.
Would it be okay if I left today?
Took my chances on what you said was wrong?
I'm jaded, stupid, and wreckless.
Not sorry, and I'll never regret.
These years spent, so faded and wreckless.
Not sorry, and I'll never regret these years.
I'll never regret these years.
Now here i sit, so far away.
Remembering all our memories.
Its times like these that I miss you most,
Remembering when we were so close.
I'm jaded, stupid, and wreckless.
Not sorry, we'll never regret.
These years spent, so faded and wreckless.
Not sorry, and I'll never regret these years.
If I could pick one word to describe how I'm feeling right about life right now, it would definitely be Jaded.