Nerd Rage
I don't have problems offending people or making them angry. This tends to happen with me in arguments (which I don't take personally and think of as debates) or on the very rare occasions I become less than mellow and go to pissed off. People get upset nonetheless though, as my mother once pointed out to me, because when I argue, I have a tendency to not only state that the other person is wrong, but imply they are stupid as well. This I don't do on purpose. I rarely think of anyone as stupid when having a meaningful conversation, though I have no problem heaping scorn on bullshit or stupid ideas.
The problem comes two fold. I don't have any problem distinguishing an idea from the person who spoke it, so I constantly have to remind myself that I can't tear someone a new one in an argument or something that they may enjoy, because they can't divorce criticism of the thing with criticism of themselves, even when it really isn't personal.
The second is that, when the occasion arises I've got the theory that I'm not really meaner than anyone else, I'm just significantly more eloquent. I've found this often amounts to the same thing, where people assume you are a bigger asshole than most because you are better at expressing contempt for something. That isn't really meanness, that's just an expansive vocabulary.
And I try to be groovy. But then again, there are times when, you know what? I am kind of a mean spirited person. Take this conversation from the Arathi Basin battleground in World of Warcraft (possibly a little paraphrased, I forgot to screenshot).
[Meatshield - Kirin Tor] tells you: go play D at GM
You tell [Meatshield - Kirin Tor]: How about you dudes go play D some instead of running around like chimps?
[Meatshield - Kirin Tor] tells you: eugh
You tell [Meatshield - Kirin Tor]: No, look, I'm sick to death of playing def in AB cause ADHD fuckwits cap nodes and zerg off leaving me the only person there.
You tell [Meatshield - Kirin Tor]: So I'm not watching a node cause a scrub in S1 welfare epics thinks def is beneath him, mmkay?
You tell [Meatshield - Kirin Tor]: Excuse me, hunter coming farm.
That there is random nerd rage, considering that frankly I was having a really decent game that time. In hindsight, I might have been a little harsh.
The problem comes two fold. I don't have any problem distinguishing an idea from the person who spoke it, so I constantly have to remind myself that I can't tear someone a new one in an argument or something that they may enjoy, because they can't divorce criticism of the thing with criticism of themselves, even when it really isn't personal.
The second is that, when the occasion arises I've got the theory that I'm not really meaner than anyone else, I'm just significantly more eloquent. I've found this often amounts to the same thing, where people assume you are a bigger asshole than most because you are better at expressing contempt for something. That isn't really meanness, that's just an expansive vocabulary.
And I try to be groovy. But then again, there are times when, you know what? I am kind of a mean spirited person. Take this conversation from the Arathi Basin battleground in World of Warcraft (possibly a little paraphrased, I forgot to screenshot).
[Meatshield - Kirin Tor] tells you: go play D at GM
You tell [Meatshield - Kirin Tor]: How about you dudes go play D some instead of running around like chimps?
[Meatshield - Kirin Tor] tells you: eugh
You tell [Meatshield - Kirin Tor]: No, look, I'm sick to death of playing def in AB cause ADHD fuckwits cap nodes and zerg off leaving me the only person there.
You tell [Meatshield - Kirin Tor]: So I'm not watching a node cause a scrub in S1 welfare epics thinks def is beneath him, mmkay?
You tell [Meatshield - Kirin Tor]: Excuse me, hunter coming farm.
That there is random nerd rage, considering that frankly I was having a really decent game that time. In hindsight, I might have been a little harsh.