Browsing Fictionpress
I haven't been active on Fictionpress for years now. Occasionally I'll log on and check my stats, but that's pretty much it. The last story I posted was in 2007. And the only person I've reviewed since then is a certain breakdancing ninja we all know and love. But I plan on returning to the site within the next few weeks, and lately I've been browsing the various genres and new features just to see if anything has changed. It hasn't, mostly. The site still appears to be dominated by 13-year-old girls (or at least people who write like 13-year-old girls). There's still an abundance of clichés, worthless reviews, poorly-written stories, and everything else we've come to expect from the good ol' world of FP. But I did notice a few recurring trends and updated features that I wanted to express my annoyance with.
--- A limit of 10,000 Characters for Reviews: At some point within the last couple of years FP has added a limit of 10,000 characters for reviews. Now, that sounds like a lot, and usually it's more than enough to get the job done. But I've always been one to give really long reviews, and a few times already I've had to delete parts of my review just to keep within the limit. I like to review as I'm reading along, copying and pasting sentences from the story that I wish to comment on, maybe because they contain a mistake or just because they're particularly well-written; and then at the end of the review I sum up my overall thoughts. If a story/chapter is several thousand words long, however, I quickly reach the character limit before I'm even halfway through. And this annoys me greatly.
--- Profanity Filters: I've also noticed that FP has added a profanity filter to the reviews. Now, if I want to say "This story is shit" it shows up as "This story is **". Seriously, FP, what the **? And not only do they filter the obvious words, but words that aren't even profane, like "porn" and "sex." I enjoy dropping the occasional f-bomb or GD to get my point across, but now I can't because it probably won't show up in the review. I've been trying to get around it by writing "f.uck" or "sh.it" instead, but that's just wasting an unnecessary character, which then helps me go over the limit. It's a lose-lose situation. At least FP allows each user to disable the profanity filter, but it's enabled by default, and most people never bother to turn it off.
--- M-Rated Stories No Longer Show Up By Default: I've never liked that FP forces users to rate their stories. (You don't walk into Barnes & Noble and see PG-13 slapped across the cover of a book.) And now M-rated stories no longer show up by default, which cuts down on their exposure. It makes me want to rate every story 'T', regardless of their content.
--- Beta Readers: I guess this is one new feature that's actually a positive--- although there's something about people bragging about how great they are at editing and grammar and dialogue that really irks me. I went through and read several profiles for beta readers, and the majority of them come across like, "So, I'm like, a really, really fantastic, amazing writer, and if you want, I'll be glad to bestow my greatness and knowledge upon thee. All you have to do is ask. (Oh, and uh, review my story first, or course.)" I also got a kick out of the ones that were like, "my greatest strengthes is probly speling and grammer." Personally, I believe the best way to find a "beta reader" is to browse reviews for other stories, and when you come across someone who gives well-written, thought-out reviews that don't just suck the author's dick, leave a few quality reviews for that person and most likely he/she will return the favor. And if they don't, so be it. Maybe someone will come along later, read your reviews, realize that you put thought and care into your feedback, and then leave you a few reviews of similar quality, hoping you'll do the same for them.
---Reviewers Too Afraid To Criticize: A lot of people don't bother to review at all; and, if they do, it's usually completely worthless. ("I like ur story," or "Update soon!") But even when you come across occasional users who actually attempt to give constructive criticism, they're always too damn nice about it. They'll spend time pointing out the strengths of the story, but, when it comes to the weaknesses, they suddenly tip-toe around their remarks, as if they're afraid of hurting the writer's feelings. I'm not saying be a jackass, but at least be stern and straightforward; maintain eye contact with the person. If you're gonna devote four paragraphs praising the story, you should also spend more than one sentence pointing out the areas in which the writer could improve. And I think a lot of people are just afraid to possibly offend or upset the writer they're reviewing because they want to be reviewed in return. But you can't worry about that. My favorite reviews, the ones that still stand out in my mind, are the ones that basically said, "WTF is this?" and proceeded to point out all the things they found wrong with my story. Just one review like that is worth more to me than a hundred reviews telling me how much they liked my story. I seek feedback on FP because I want to be the best writer that I can be. If everyone makes out that I'm doing everything perfectly, I'll never improve. I'll just become complacent. So, when reviewing, I always do so with that same mindset (and proceed to receive hateful e-mails in return).
SLASH SLASH SLASH: Several years ago, back when FP was just a sub-section of FanFiction.com, I posted a continuing "story" called The Slash Show. Basically it was just a rip-off of Space Ghost: Coast to Coast. It was even written in screenplay format. It was the first thing I ever posted on the site, and it was mostly just for the enjoyment of my friends and I. Slash, to me, is the legendary (former) guitarist for Guns N' Roses; and back then I often used the name when playing any online games. At the time I had no idea that "slash" was also a term for something else. (Innocently enough, when I used to see that term listed in a summary, I immediately thought it was just referring to a bit of good ol' swashbuckling, a la Captain Jack Sparrow and Davey Jones. I had no idea the swords in these slash stories weren't made of steal, but thick, veiny man-meat instead.) There's no telling how many people clicked on my story thinking, "Oooh! A whole show dedicated to gay ass sex!" But still, I don't think I ever truly realized just how goddamn popular these stories are until recently when I was exploring the romance section on FP. Seemingly one out of every ten stories had "SLASH" written in the summary. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with these stories. People can write whatever the hell they want. I'm just amazed at the sheer popularity of them. Do people really fantasize that often about dudes pumping each other in the ass?
Profiles Longer Than War and Peace: Why do people feel it necessary to list their physical traits--- height, weight, eye color, hair color--- along with a list of their favorite movies, books, bands, albums, food, porn, television shows, websites, relatives, etc., etc., etc. Seriously. FP isn't a dating site (I don't think). I've stumbled across numerous profiles where it took me fifteen minutes just to scroll down to the actual stories/poems. Keep it simple. You don't have to give me your entire auto-biography.
Don't Post Your Story Unless the First Draft is Completely Finished: Finishing a story always provides a bit of a rush, that end-all period flooding your veins like a mini-shot of adrenaline. And often in the past I was guilty of succumbing to that initial excitement of finishing a story, and I just couldn't wait to share it with the rest of the world. I wanted immediate feedback. So I'd try to quickly edit the story, forgetting that it's nearly impossible to see the mistakes when a story is still fresh out of the oven. As a result, my stories were usually ridden with careless mistakes. I think it's best if every story is put aside for at least two weeks before a writer tries to go through and edit/re-write. But if you're writing a novel or something that consists of several chapters, I don't think the first chapter should be posted until the last chapter is written. But very few people seem to share that belief. Instead, they'll post the story as they go along, which, imo, creates a whole slew of potential problems. What if, in chapter ten, you realize you left out a key bit of information that you should've revealed in chapter three? Sure, you can go back and add it, but the people who have already read chapter three aren't ever going to know about it. So there's an automatic detachment and continuity errors abound. What if you make a bad decision in chapter fifteen that forces you into a corner a few chapters later? If you haven't posted the story yet, you can simply go back and re-write the last few chapters and correct the error. But if it's already posted online then you can't do really do that, can you? At least, not without confusing people. And by posting a story that's still being written, I also believe that exposes the writer to the possiblity of being influenced negatively by reviewers. Instead of writing the story the way it was originally planned, you may find yourself being swayed, consciously or subconsciously, by the opinions of the reviewers in an effort to please them. And what about all the people who start a novel, get halfway through, and then never finish? Personally, I find it highly disrespectful to abandon a project that people have taken the time to read, especially if you're thirty, forty, fifty-thousand words into it. You owe it yourself and to your readers to finish writing the story. Otherwise you've just wasted everybody's time. (Like I've just wasted yours if you read this entire rant.)
--- A limit of 10,000 Characters for Reviews: At some point within the last couple of years FP has added a limit of 10,000 characters for reviews. Now, that sounds like a lot, and usually it's more than enough to get the job done. But I've always been one to give really long reviews, and a few times already I've had to delete parts of my review just to keep within the limit. I like to review as I'm reading along, copying and pasting sentences from the story that I wish to comment on, maybe because they contain a mistake or just because they're particularly well-written; and then at the end of the review I sum up my overall thoughts. If a story/chapter is several thousand words long, however, I quickly reach the character limit before I'm even halfway through. And this annoys me greatly.
--- Profanity Filters: I've also noticed that FP has added a profanity filter to the reviews. Now, if I want to say "This story is shit" it shows up as "This story is **". Seriously, FP, what the **? And not only do they filter the obvious words, but words that aren't even profane, like "porn" and "sex." I enjoy dropping the occasional f-bomb or GD to get my point across, but now I can't because it probably won't show up in the review. I've been trying to get around it by writing "f.uck" or "sh.it" instead, but that's just wasting an unnecessary character, which then helps me go over the limit. It's a lose-lose situation. At least FP allows each user to disable the profanity filter, but it's enabled by default, and most people never bother to turn it off.
--- M-Rated Stories No Longer Show Up By Default: I've never liked that FP forces users to rate their stories. (You don't walk into Barnes & Noble and see PG-13 slapped across the cover of a book.) And now M-rated stories no longer show up by default, which cuts down on their exposure. It makes me want to rate every story 'T', regardless of their content.
--- Beta Readers: I guess this is one new feature that's actually a positive--- although there's something about people bragging about how great they are at editing and grammar and dialogue that really irks me. I went through and read several profiles for beta readers, and the majority of them come across like, "So, I'm like, a really, really fantastic, amazing writer, and if you want, I'll be glad to bestow my greatness and knowledge upon thee. All you have to do is ask. (Oh, and uh, review my story first, or course.)" I also got a kick out of the ones that were like, "my greatest strengthes is probly speling and grammer." Personally, I believe the best way to find a "beta reader" is to browse reviews for other stories, and when you come across someone who gives well-written, thought-out reviews that don't just suck the author's dick, leave a few quality reviews for that person and most likely he/she will return the favor. And if they don't, so be it. Maybe someone will come along later, read your reviews, realize that you put thought and care into your feedback, and then leave you a few reviews of similar quality, hoping you'll do the same for them.
---Reviewers Too Afraid To Criticize: A lot of people don't bother to review at all; and, if they do, it's usually completely worthless. ("I like ur story," or "Update soon!") But even when you come across occasional users who actually attempt to give constructive criticism, they're always too damn nice about it. They'll spend time pointing out the strengths of the story, but, when it comes to the weaknesses, they suddenly tip-toe around their remarks, as if they're afraid of hurting the writer's feelings. I'm not saying be a jackass, but at least be stern and straightforward; maintain eye contact with the person. If you're gonna devote four paragraphs praising the story, you should also spend more than one sentence pointing out the areas in which the writer could improve. And I think a lot of people are just afraid to possibly offend or upset the writer they're reviewing because they want to be reviewed in return. But you can't worry about that. My favorite reviews, the ones that still stand out in my mind, are the ones that basically said, "WTF is this?" and proceeded to point out all the things they found wrong with my story. Just one review like that is worth more to me than a hundred reviews telling me how much they liked my story. I seek feedback on FP because I want to be the best writer that I can be. If everyone makes out that I'm doing everything perfectly, I'll never improve. I'll just become complacent. So, when reviewing, I always do so with that same mindset (and proceed to receive hateful e-mails in return).
SLASH SLASH SLASH: Several years ago, back when FP was just a sub-section of FanFiction.com, I posted a continuing "story" called The Slash Show. Basically it was just a rip-off of Space Ghost: Coast to Coast. It was even written in screenplay format. It was the first thing I ever posted on the site, and it was mostly just for the enjoyment of my friends and I. Slash, to me, is the legendary (former) guitarist for Guns N' Roses; and back then I often used the name when playing any online games. At the time I had no idea that "slash" was also a term for something else. (Innocently enough, when I used to see that term listed in a summary, I immediately thought it was just referring to a bit of good ol' swashbuckling, a la Captain Jack Sparrow and Davey Jones. I had no idea the swords in these slash stories weren't made of steal, but thick, veiny man-meat instead.) There's no telling how many people clicked on my story thinking, "Oooh! A whole show dedicated to gay ass sex!" But still, I don't think I ever truly realized just how goddamn popular these stories are until recently when I was exploring the romance section on FP. Seemingly one out of every ten stories had "SLASH" written in the summary. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with these stories. People can write whatever the hell they want. I'm just amazed at the sheer popularity of them. Do people really fantasize that often about dudes pumping each other in the ass?
Profiles Longer Than War and Peace: Why do people feel it necessary to list their physical traits--- height, weight, eye color, hair color--- along with a list of their favorite movies, books, bands, albums, food, porn, television shows, websites, relatives, etc., etc., etc. Seriously. FP isn't a dating site (I don't think). I've stumbled across numerous profiles where it took me fifteen minutes just to scroll down to the actual stories/poems. Keep it simple. You don't have to give me your entire auto-biography.
Don't Post Your Story Unless the First Draft is Completely Finished: Finishing a story always provides a bit of a rush, that end-all period flooding your veins like a mini-shot of adrenaline. And often in the past I was guilty of succumbing to that initial excitement of finishing a story, and I just couldn't wait to share it with the rest of the world. I wanted immediate feedback. So I'd try to quickly edit the story, forgetting that it's nearly impossible to see the mistakes when a story is still fresh out of the oven. As a result, my stories were usually ridden with careless mistakes. I think it's best if every story is put aside for at least two weeks before a writer tries to go through and edit/re-write. But if you're writing a novel or something that consists of several chapters, I don't think the first chapter should be posted until the last chapter is written. But very few people seem to share that belief. Instead, they'll post the story as they go along, which, imo, creates a whole slew of potential problems. What if, in chapter ten, you realize you left out a key bit of information that you should've revealed in chapter three? Sure, you can go back and add it, but the people who have already read chapter three aren't ever going to know about it. So there's an automatic detachment and continuity errors abound. What if you make a bad decision in chapter fifteen that forces you into a corner a few chapters later? If you haven't posted the story yet, you can simply go back and re-write the last few chapters and correct the error. But if it's already posted online then you can't do really do that, can you? At least, not without confusing people. And by posting a story that's still being written, I also believe that exposes the writer to the possiblity of being influenced negatively by reviewers. Instead of writing the story the way it was originally planned, you may find yourself being swayed, consciously or subconsciously, by the opinions of the reviewers in an effort to please them. And what about all the people who start a novel, get halfway through, and then never finish? Personally, I find it highly disrespectful to abandon a project that people have taken the time to read, especially if you're thirty, forty, fifty-thousand words into it. You owe it yourself and to your readers to finish writing the story. Otherwise you've just wasted everybody's time. (Like I've just wasted yours if you read this entire rant.)