Too jumpy and self-referencing to go on the website...
I write about love quite often, because it does make up a lot of what I think and feel. I've even tried to understand love. Lately, I've come to realise that I will never understand it.
Ever since it I made my decision to return to college, I've had the feeling that I would end up in a relationship with one of the incoming CSH members. Well, I was right. Her name is Sarah, and it was something about her that captured me the moment I met her. We match so well it's almost frightening sometimes. Like I'm in a good dream that will soon end. I don't want this to end. I want it to be forever.
She has things in her past that might bother most people, or at least leave them confused. I've got things like that in my past. She has told me what she's done, and I've told her of my past. We know about each other's history, and neither one of us could care less. It's not yesterday that matters, it's today.
Even enjoying life as much as I do now, I still think about the future. Not about what would happen if we ever broke up, but how the rest of time will play out with us together. I never think about an ending. Even when Elizabeth and I were together, I didn't think about an ending. I go into this thinking it's forever. Because if you go on always keeping one foot out of the door, you'll never get anywhere. To quote High Fidelity, "It's suicide, in tiny, tiny increments."
A few days ago, I drove her to her home in Buffalo. I spent several hours there, where I met her parents, and they were informed of the fact that we are dating. I spent several hours there, and when it came time to leave, she walked to my car with me. It was a hard thing to say goodbye, even if it was only for two days. I never wanted to let her go. Even tonight, when she went to bed, I didn't want to remove my arms from around her. She didn't want to let go either.
Right now, I don't think I could be happier. My life is almost perfect at this point. The 'almost' is of my own doing, and I'm working on that.
Ever since it I made my decision to return to college, I've had the feeling that I would end up in a relationship with one of the incoming CSH members. Well, I was right. Her name is Sarah, and it was something about her that captured me the moment I met her. We match so well it's almost frightening sometimes. Like I'm in a good dream that will soon end. I don't want this to end. I want it to be forever.
She has things in her past that might bother most people, or at least leave them confused. I've got things like that in my past. She has told me what she's done, and I've told her of my past. We know about each other's history, and neither one of us could care less. It's not yesterday that matters, it's today.
Even enjoying life as much as I do now, I still think about the future. Not about what would happen if we ever broke up, but how the rest of time will play out with us together. I never think about an ending. Even when Elizabeth and I were together, I didn't think about an ending. I go into this thinking it's forever. Because if you go on always keeping one foot out of the door, you'll never get anywhere. To quote High Fidelity, "It's suicide, in tiny, tiny increments."
A few days ago, I drove her to her home in Buffalo. I spent several hours there, where I met her parents, and they were informed of the fact that we are dating. I spent several hours there, and when it came time to leave, she walked to my car with me. It was a hard thing to say goodbye, even if it was only for two days. I never wanted to let her go. Even tonight, when she went to bed, I didn't want to remove my arms from around her. She didn't want to let go either.
Right now, I don't think I could be happier. My life is almost perfect at this point. The 'almost' is of my own doing, and I'm working on that.