Ok so I need your advice...... (venting ahead)
What would you do if you thought someone you cared about was making a really fucking stupid decision? And you couldn't or didn't know how to tell them that? I'll start with the more serious one first:
Kenida is my shift supervisor at Starbucks. She's a year older than me and has a 2 (?) year old daughter, Bella. And she's living with her high school boyfriend,Jimmy. They have an apartment. And a puppy. And they've been together for about 6-7 years. You may have an idea of where this is going. Last year was when it all started. There's a guy who works at Starbucks with us who's been with us for nearly two years. And he's an epic, epic flirt. He flirts with every single woman who comes into the store and I think you know where this is going. Jimmy and Kenida were having problems and Jorge being the flirt that he is decided be a concerned friend and shoulder to cry on for Kenida....and then they hooked up ,I mean that's the feeling I get anyway, it might be the other way round, I admit that it might be that Kenida and Jimmy were having problems because Jorge and Kenida hooked up and Jimmy found out about it.
Kenida swears that she and Jorge did nothing more than kiss... but....Kenida and Jorge are still talking. And I don't mean talking at work. But talking. On their half-hour lunch breaks. About how he's going to look after Kenida if she leaves Jimmy, and they can live together. And about how he loves her. It's kinda obvious they have been sleeping together, if not now, then in the past year quite often. Because she wants to leave Jimmy for Jorge.
And you know? If she really wants that's fine it's her own business, after all you grow as a person, and sometimes you do grow away from people. (I'm not going to say you fall out of love, because despite never having been in love myself, everything I'ver read online says it not as simple just falling out of love with someone, loving someone is a choice or maybe that's too simplistic).
It's just....Jorge? All of the girls he's talked to (myself included) know he has a way with words, and know he's quite charming, and is a ladies man....he's not only gone on dates with quite a few of the women who come into the store. And slept with them. And you know there's nothing wrong with that, but bear in mind while he's doing that he's talking about how much he loves Kenida and wants to take care of her. Now Jorge? Lives with his parents. He doesn't have a car and earns just above minimum wage. It's not even the money either. As he supposedly told someone just this week he "Doesn't know what he wants". I get she might feel young again when she's with him.I mean we were talking about her and how they were talking about sending their daughter to daycare and how expensive it is, and how Bella's being a normal 2 year old. and asking a lot of questions. Not mention that Jimmy is working two jobs so they (Kenida and Jimmy) don't see each other much at all. And according to someone else, Kenida claims that she and Jimmy are arguing a lot. Which yeah couples argue. And if you've admitted that you and a coworker hooked up then maybe that's the reason you are arguing. Or maybe you're arguing because you've hit the 6-7 year mark in your relationship and statistically then when problems occur. Either way the adult thing to do is talk about them surely to your significant other and not emotionally cheat on them?
Or maybe I'm just a judgemental bitch. The thing is Jorge has been known to hook up with fellow employees in the past. He's done with two one of whom has a boyfriend, and one who was feeling vulnerable because she had just broken up with her boyfriend of 5 years. It's a pattern. The girls and I have talked, about it and he clearly likes a challenge, Kenida's been known to worry about his flirting asking if he does flirt with other women and it's just like "Girl if you're worried about why in god's name are you considering Jimmy?
But...Kenida is here illegally. She got a student visa and what have you, but it expired? and for what ever reason (even though we're all convinced just by looking at him, that he loves her) Jimmy won't marry her. And Jorge says that *he*will. Is that what Jorge's got to offer her? People do get married for a variety of reasons, and sometimes it isn't love.
All in all I'm pissed off at Kenida for even contemplating leaving her partner for someone she's known just under a year and a half. And I'm doubly pissed at Jorge. He fucking knew she was in a serious relationship and still choose to get involved, or try to, with her. He should know better as he's my age.
It's creating a toxic environment in store, where Jorge still tries to hook up with girls and Kenida can't do her job. She fucks up. A lot. Still she's leaving in 10 days which....we'll see if that helps any. At least then they have no way to be in physical contact with each other.