Fic: 12 Drinking Drabbles
This was just a challenge for myself, and isn't so much a fic as... Well, drabbles. 12 drabbles, to be exact, all from different fandoms. I just thought I'd write it to see if I could.
Author: Gildedmuse/Stephanie
Title: 12 Drinking Drabbles
Fandoms: Across The Universe, Hitchhiker's Guide, Rent, Chess, Star Wars, Firefly, Dr. Horrible, Angel, Good Omens, Last Five Years, Harry Potter, Dorian Gray
Characters/Pariings: Max/Jude, Ford/Arthur, Mark/Roger, Freddie/Florence, Han/Luke, Simon & Zoe, Captain Hammer, Doyle & Angel, Azirphale/Crowley, Jamie, Sirius & James, Basil/Dorian
Rating/Warning: Between G and PG-13, and hardly even that.
Word Count: Exactly 1200
Summary: 12 drabbles about 12 different fandoms and all of them drunk out of their minds. I managed to write each one in less than two minutes, too. Eat it, world.
Twelve Drinking Drabbles
1. All You Need (Across The Universe)
“All you need is love…”
Max is drunk. So drunk he’s singing right in Jude’s ear and it should be annoying but it‘s Max, so it‘s not.
“All you need is love!”
Instead he laughs and tries singing along, but only Max knows the words and, besides, Jude likes listening.
“All you need is love,” Max crones against his neck, all hot and soft words that make him shiver. Jude knows what Max wants, and Max knows who Jude wants, but that never stops him. So why should Jude when it feels so good?
Besides.. “Love is all you need.”
2. The Guide Suggests… (Hitchhiker’s Guide)
It’s a well known fact that alcohol is wonderful for solving certain problems.
Oh, it might not be the solution offered up by psychiatrists, doctors, or the snotty Encyclopedia Galaxia, but let us tell you, for certain things there is nothing that works quicker than a drink. The only question is of what.
For instance, if you are attempting to convincing a particular ape-based life form that seeing as his planet has been recently demolished he need not worry about social constructs such as, for example, pants than personally this guide researcher suggests whiskey. It worked well for him, anyway.
3. Take A Drink (Rent)
Take a drink every time you can’t finish a chord.
Using this method, Roger could have ended up in the hospital. Mostly, he just ends up drunk.
Take a drink when your film won’t sell.
If Mark did this he’d need a new liver in a week. As is, he just needs a refill.
Take a drink every time you think of kissing him.
If either one of them just stopped thinking, maybe they’d both stop drinking and save some money. Instead, they just end up cuddled together, drunk out of their minds and no kiss to show for it.
4. And When You Can’t Stand (Chess)
“No.”
“What do you mean, no?”
Leave it to Freddie to make her explain basic English. “I mean, no. You’re not playing when drunk!”
“I’m not drunk!” Only he can’t seem to open the door, even once she’s stepped back. Sober indeed! “Sides, this is an easy match! I could beat him blindfolded!”
“They call out positions, of course you could, but not drunk!” Sometimes, it’s more like babysitting than marriage.
“You’re my wife, not my fucking mother!” Oh, God, why does Florence even try?
“Quit acting like a pitiful child or I won’t be!” And she finally walks away.
5. Guilt (Star Wars)
He’s just a kid, and Han almost feels guilty.
Should have known the kid had never had a proper drink before and maybe Han should have stopped him but, hell, he never claimed to be a good guy. Luke can’t blame him for this.
Well, he could, but somehow Han doubts he’ll remember it.
“Time to get you to bed, kid.”
“Mmnottired.” Han is trying to pick him up from the floor. Kid can be stubborn, though. Doesn’t know what’s best for him. “Mmnot.”
He pouts all blue eyes and soft lips and Han should feel guilty, but he doesn’t.
6. Fix Me (Firefly)
“I could give you some medicine. Help you sleep.”
“No thanks, doc. Got my own.” He’s saluted with the half empty glasses of bitter looking drink. Well, he supposes that would be the natural reaction.
“Actually, alcohol only-”
“Don‘t rightly care.”
Simon nods. He’d always been useless at this part. With bodies he’s brilliant, but with people… When things couldn’t be touched how is a doctor meant to heal them? Broken brainpans, as River says.
“Goodnight, then.”
He leaves Zoe to her drink, thinking he’d give up any amount of genius if he could help heal these types of wounds.
7. But I Was Huge In Japan! (Dr. Horrible)
“I knew him!”
Kyle slides away from the drunk bum. He can smell alcohol, but then he is in a bar. It could just be the general smell.
Doesn’t matter, because the guy is definitely drunk. He keeps waving his hand at the picture hanging above the bar and saying nonsense like “I threw a car at his head.”
“I slept with his girlfriend! Well, my girlfriend but he - oh, fuck.” Then the sound of vomiting, which was actually better than the talking.
“Yeah, sure.” Because you can just go throwing cars at the ruler of freaking Australia, right?
8. Just A Typically Night (Angel)
“I’m only drunk to help you.”
Angel raises an eyebrow, but not much else about his expression changes. Still looks pretty broody, like always. “How is this helping?”
Doyle pats Angel’s chest. “Well, you see - Ah… I’ll explain it later.” When he comes up with something.
“Cordelia say no again?”
“Girl has spirit,” Doyle agrees and, wow, Angel really does have plenty of strength. When did he start carrying him? “But I’m stubborn as all hell.”
“I’ve noticed.”
This is the best way to travel, Doyle decides, he’s never walking again. “She’ll break, eventually.”
“Well, one of you will.”
9. How To Seduce An Angel Without Even Trying (Good Omens)
Technically speaking, Angels couldn’t get drunk. This has never stopped Crowley.
“Can I tempt you with some wine, Angel?” Can he tempt him with anything. If Aziraphale would just name his price, Crowley would offer. Put up with whatever Aziraphale wanted if Crowley had a chance to see him fall.
Hiccupping, Aziraphale takes the drink, but he’s still wearing that prim little smile. “I won’t be tempted, Demon,” he says, but he isn’t so convincing that Crowley will give up. After all, he’s a demon, he’s suppose to being doing evil.
And a drunk Angel is just so damn tempting.
10. You Never Knew (Last Five Years)
“She never…” Jamie waves his hands about, as if words couldn’t explain. Or he couldn’t, not after another drink. “You know?”
The blonde girl he’s been chatting up, she gives a nod and keeps up her plastered on little smile. Such a pretty girl, such an airhead but Jamie didn’t mind. He’d long learned that who they were didn’t matter, just so long as they loved him.
And they all loved him. Unconditionally. Without question, never doubting him. It’s all Jamie asks for.
“She never,” he explains, but the girl doesn’t care and since she’s not Cathy, neither does Jamie.
11. The Puppy & The Wolfhead (Harry Potter)
“We have to do something. We can’t just let him go all wolfy alone.”
“No.. No, alone is bad. Bad. Baaa-aaaddd.”
“Sirius, my friend, you are drunk.”
“James, my friend, you are, too.”
“But I’m a clever drunk! I have… ideas.”
“Ideas? What sort of ideas.”
“Clever ones.”
“Ahh, ‘course.”
“We can’t let him know we know, not until we know what we need to know.”
“… Right. Am I that drunk?”
“No, I just don’t make sense.”
“Thank goodness for that.”
“But… I have ideas. He needs a pack.”
“He needs us.”
“Exactly. We‘re his pack… He needs us.”
12. Wants (Dorian Gray)
Basil wants to say “love me”.
He wants to grab onto Dorian, to hold the boy in these precious moments and not let time corrupt him. He wants what every man in love wants, forever and unchanging and out of the reach of any other. He wants Lord Henry to stop feeding him wine and fawning over him as though he were a temporarily amusing object. He wants Dorian to know he is better than all of them, every last gentlemen that touches him when Basil cannot as drinks himself further from perfection.
He wants everything, but he gets nothing.
Author: Gildedmuse/Stephanie
Title: 12 Drinking Drabbles
Fandoms: Across The Universe, Hitchhiker's Guide, Rent, Chess, Star Wars, Firefly, Dr. Horrible, Angel, Good Omens, Last Five Years, Harry Potter, Dorian Gray
Characters/Pariings: Max/Jude, Ford/Arthur, Mark/Roger, Freddie/Florence, Han/Luke, Simon & Zoe, Captain Hammer, Doyle & Angel, Azirphale/Crowley, Jamie, Sirius & James, Basil/Dorian
Rating/Warning: Between G and PG-13, and hardly even that.
Word Count: Exactly 1200
Summary: 12 drabbles about 12 different fandoms and all of them drunk out of their minds. I managed to write each one in less than two minutes, too. Eat it, world.
Twelve Drinking Drabbles
1. All You Need (Across The Universe)
“All you need is love…”
Max is drunk. So drunk he’s singing right in Jude’s ear and it should be annoying but it‘s Max, so it‘s not.
“All you need is love!”
Instead he laughs and tries singing along, but only Max knows the words and, besides, Jude likes listening.
“All you need is love,” Max crones against his neck, all hot and soft words that make him shiver. Jude knows what Max wants, and Max knows who Jude wants, but that never stops him. So why should Jude when it feels so good?
Besides.. “Love is all you need.”
2. The Guide Suggests… (Hitchhiker’s Guide)
It’s a well known fact that alcohol is wonderful for solving certain problems.
Oh, it might not be the solution offered up by psychiatrists, doctors, or the snotty Encyclopedia Galaxia, but let us tell you, for certain things there is nothing that works quicker than a drink. The only question is of what.
For instance, if you are attempting to convincing a particular ape-based life form that seeing as his planet has been recently demolished he need not worry about social constructs such as, for example, pants than personally this guide researcher suggests whiskey. It worked well for him, anyway.
3. Take A Drink (Rent)
Take a drink every time you can’t finish a chord.
Using this method, Roger could have ended up in the hospital. Mostly, he just ends up drunk.
Take a drink when your film won’t sell.
If Mark did this he’d need a new liver in a week. As is, he just needs a refill.
Take a drink every time you think of kissing him.
If either one of them just stopped thinking, maybe they’d both stop drinking and save some money. Instead, they just end up cuddled together, drunk out of their minds and no kiss to show for it.
4. And When You Can’t Stand (Chess)
“No.”
“What do you mean, no?”
Leave it to Freddie to make her explain basic English. “I mean, no. You’re not playing when drunk!”
“I’m not drunk!” Only he can’t seem to open the door, even once she’s stepped back. Sober indeed! “Sides, this is an easy match! I could beat him blindfolded!”
“They call out positions, of course you could, but not drunk!” Sometimes, it’s more like babysitting than marriage.
“You’re my wife, not my fucking mother!” Oh, God, why does Florence even try?
“Quit acting like a pitiful child or I won’t be!” And she finally walks away.
5. Guilt (Star Wars)
He’s just a kid, and Han almost feels guilty.
Should have known the kid had never had a proper drink before and maybe Han should have stopped him but, hell, he never claimed to be a good guy. Luke can’t blame him for this.
Well, he could, but somehow Han doubts he’ll remember it.
“Time to get you to bed, kid.”
“Mmnottired.” Han is trying to pick him up from the floor. Kid can be stubborn, though. Doesn’t know what’s best for him. “Mmnot.”
He pouts all blue eyes and soft lips and Han should feel guilty, but he doesn’t.
6. Fix Me (Firefly)
“I could give you some medicine. Help you sleep.”
“No thanks, doc. Got my own.” He’s saluted with the half empty glasses of bitter looking drink. Well, he supposes that would be the natural reaction.
“Actually, alcohol only-”
“Don‘t rightly care.”
Simon nods. He’d always been useless at this part. With bodies he’s brilliant, but with people… When things couldn’t be touched how is a doctor meant to heal them? Broken brainpans, as River says.
“Goodnight, then.”
He leaves Zoe to her drink, thinking he’d give up any amount of genius if he could help heal these types of wounds.
7. But I Was Huge In Japan! (Dr. Horrible)
“I knew him!”
Kyle slides away from the drunk bum. He can smell alcohol, but then he is in a bar. It could just be the general smell.
Doesn’t matter, because the guy is definitely drunk. He keeps waving his hand at the picture hanging above the bar and saying nonsense like “I threw a car at his head.”
“I slept with his girlfriend! Well, my girlfriend but he - oh, fuck.” Then the sound of vomiting, which was actually better than the talking.
“Yeah, sure.” Because you can just go throwing cars at the ruler of freaking Australia, right?
8. Just A Typically Night (Angel)
“I’m only drunk to help you.”
Angel raises an eyebrow, but not much else about his expression changes. Still looks pretty broody, like always. “How is this helping?”
Doyle pats Angel’s chest. “Well, you see - Ah… I’ll explain it later.” When he comes up with something.
“Cordelia say no again?”
“Girl has spirit,” Doyle agrees and, wow, Angel really does have plenty of strength. When did he start carrying him? “But I’m stubborn as all hell.”
“I’ve noticed.”
This is the best way to travel, Doyle decides, he’s never walking again. “She’ll break, eventually.”
“Well, one of you will.”
9. How To Seduce An Angel Without Even Trying (Good Omens)
Technically speaking, Angels couldn’t get drunk. This has never stopped Crowley.
“Can I tempt you with some wine, Angel?” Can he tempt him with anything. If Aziraphale would just name his price, Crowley would offer. Put up with whatever Aziraphale wanted if Crowley had a chance to see him fall.
Hiccupping, Aziraphale takes the drink, but he’s still wearing that prim little smile. “I won’t be tempted, Demon,” he says, but he isn’t so convincing that Crowley will give up. After all, he’s a demon, he’s suppose to being doing evil.
And a drunk Angel is just so damn tempting.
10. You Never Knew (Last Five Years)
“She never…” Jamie waves his hands about, as if words couldn’t explain. Or he couldn’t, not after another drink. “You know?”
The blonde girl he’s been chatting up, she gives a nod and keeps up her plastered on little smile. Such a pretty girl, such an airhead but Jamie didn’t mind. He’d long learned that who they were didn’t matter, just so long as they loved him.
And they all loved him. Unconditionally. Without question, never doubting him. It’s all Jamie asks for.
“She never,” he explains, but the girl doesn’t care and since she’s not Cathy, neither does Jamie.
11. The Puppy & The Wolfhead (Harry Potter)
“We have to do something. We can’t just let him go all wolfy alone.”
“No.. No, alone is bad. Bad. Baaa-aaaddd.”
“Sirius, my friend, you are drunk.”
“James, my friend, you are, too.”
“But I’m a clever drunk! I have… ideas.”
“Ideas? What sort of ideas.”
“Clever ones.”
“Ahh, ‘course.”
“We can’t let him know we know, not until we know what we need to know.”
“… Right. Am I that drunk?”
“No, I just don’t make sense.”
“Thank goodness for that.”
“But… I have ideas. He needs a pack.”
“He needs us.”
“Exactly. We‘re his pack… He needs us.”
12. Wants (Dorian Gray)
Basil wants to say “love me”.
He wants to grab onto Dorian, to hold the boy in these precious moments and not let time corrupt him. He wants what every man in love wants, forever and unchanging and out of the reach of any other. He wants Lord Henry to stop feeding him wine and fawning over him as though he were a temporarily amusing object. He wants Dorian to know he is better than all of them, every last gentlemen that touches him when Basil cannot as drinks himself further from perfection.
He wants everything, but he gets nothing.