(no subject)
I have a bad feeling.
I am not sure exactly why, or what for.
On saturday i went out, and it was nice. all my friends i enjoy going out with where there, Dave, Felicia, Laurelle, Matt. It was supposed to be a fun time. I cabbed it so i wouldnt have to worry about driving.
Yet something went wrong. I am far too perceptive, and as everyone knows i liked dave. for a long time, and now im done with that, but the fact that i did like him is still a factor in this. I like matt. quite a bit, but its retarded because he only likes skinny men who are bad for him. so i dont have a shot in hell.
dave met matt at lookout when he was dating... ryan i think his name was. although dave had a boyfriend he subtley hit on matt and was upset matt didnt respond. and he KNEW i liked matt. what a fucking asshole. and then him and ryan have broken up since then, and matt and dave disappear onto the dance floor when we were out for a cigarette, daves hands were all over matt, and then matt tells me the next day he has a crush on dave. THAT FUCKIGN DOESN HELP MY BAD FUCKING MOOD. argh.
(below is my attempt to take out names. but then the rant doesnt work. lol so i dont want to change it back to having names.)
and a friend has a date tonite. and i have a bad feeling. I believe it may be with another friend.. im not sure. as far as i know they dont talk. they dont have each others number but they have talked briefly on gay.com or gay411. so who knows.
i cant say dont. but most friends wouldnt just because. a) one knows my history with the other., and how badly he treated me, and everyone because of his "preferences" which are very superficial. and b) the other because he knows i have a crush on the first.. but why would that matter, it never has in the past when he goes after guys i liked just because he's superficial.
why cant people have their own passions, instead of seeing someone else have a passion for something and then try to co-opt that.
I am not sure exactly why, or what for.
On saturday i went out, and it was nice. all my friends i enjoy going out with where there, Dave, Felicia, Laurelle, Matt. It was supposed to be a fun time. I cabbed it so i wouldnt have to worry about driving.
Yet something went wrong. I am far too perceptive, and as everyone knows i liked dave. for a long time, and now im done with that, but the fact that i did like him is still a factor in this. I like matt. quite a bit, but its retarded because he only likes skinny men who are bad for him. so i dont have a shot in hell.
dave met matt at lookout when he was dating... ryan i think his name was. although dave had a boyfriend he subtley hit on matt and was upset matt didnt respond. and he KNEW i liked matt. what a fucking asshole. and then him and ryan have broken up since then, and matt and dave disappear onto the dance floor when we were out for a cigarette, daves hands were all over matt, and then matt tells me the next day he has a crush on dave. THAT FUCKIGN DOESN HELP MY BAD FUCKING MOOD. argh.
(below is my attempt to take out names. but then the rant doesnt work. lol so i dont want to change it back to having names.)
and a friend has a date tonite. and i have a bad feeling. I believe it may be with another friend.. im not sure. as far as i know they dont talk. they dont have each others number but they have talked briefly on gay.com or gay411. so who knows.
i cant say dont. but most friends wouldnt just because. a) one knows my history with the other., and how badly he treated me, and everyone because of his "preferences" which are very superficial. and b) the other because he knows i have a crush on the first.. but why would that matter, it never has in the past when he goes after guys i liked just because he's superficial.
why cant people have their own passions, instead of seeing someone else have a passion for something and then try to co-opt that.