A great day for baseball.
This week has been killer. I worked everyday.. and it's been great and all, but today was a much needed break. Yesterday, I made $330 and me and Chelsea pretty much split the section, so I tried to give her half of it but she handed some back. She's cute, I love working with her. I went out for a beer with Max last nite when I was driving him home at Korona's I think it's called and I realized that I haven't been dancing in so long and I wanted to go real bad. So today me and Chivon and Michelle went down to the Irish fest in Long Beach and drank and danced for almost 8 hours. There's nothing like watching the Yanks make the playoffs in a bar full of fans on a bright, sunny day by the beach. It was so much fun and when we left at like, 10 it felt like 1am.. I dropped them off after a pit stop at her brother's bar and called up Julia, picked her up and headed to my job for some booze and food.. We caught up, talked about her last year in Iraq and what not.. and the more I think and talk about everything.. the more excited and anxious about starting everything I get.
I don't really know what else to talk about. I've been pretty bummed out the past couple of days and being here just makes things harder.. but I figured that if I don't move out, I can save up and get a car or something.. which I probably don't need right now, but I don't know how much longer she's gonna last for, ya know? I'm trying to tough it out and each day is something new. What're you gonna do, right? Me and Sue really wanna join an indoor soccer league for the winter.. I'm dying to start working out again and I know it only lasts so long if I do it on my own.. so if I had somewhere to go where I was paying to be or something, it would work itself out on it's own. We're playing an alumni game on the 17th.. so I should probably do some stuff on my own before that anyway. I miss soccer.. America has no idea what a great sport it really is.
I've been thinking about a lot of things lately, and one of them is how I view myself. Not what I think of me.. but I'm beginning to see what kind of person I am, or have been, or want to be.. and I'm putting together pieces of why I've never seen it before. And the more I think about it, the more it bothers me I think. Because a lot of the reason that I've shut out who I enjoy being, or hid who I was.. or acted a certain way was based on a lot of other people and I'm disappointed with myself that I let it happen for so long. I'm glad I'm finally doing things on my own and making my own decisions and everything I do is based on me, not anyone else.. and it's really helping me grow. It's a really slow process, and it's just a small step, but I'm accomplishing things and getting close with friends I've closed off and I couldn't be happier with that. I should always be me based on me, unfortunately up until now I've been me depending on what other people want me to be. I'm reading a book by Andy Rooney and there's a lot of good quotes in it about character, but it's in my car so I can't put 'em in.
I do need to go to bed, though. Work alllllll day tomorrow.
I don't really know what else to talk about. I've been pretty bummed out the past couple of days and being here just makes things harder.. but I figured that if I don't move out, I can save up and get a car or something.. which I probably don't need right now, but I don't know how much longer she's gonna last for, ya know? I'm trying to tough it out and each day is something new. What're you gonna do, right? Me and Sue really wanna join an indoor soccer league for the winter.. I'm dying to start working out again and I know it only lasts so long if I do it on my own.. so if I had somewhere to go where I was paying to be or something, it would work itself out on it's own. We're playing an alumni game on the 17th.. so I should probably do some stuff on my own before that anyway. I miss soccer.. America has no idea what a great sport it really is.
I've been thinking about a lot of things lately, and one of them is how I view myself. Not what I think of me.. but I'm beginning to see what kind of person I am, or have been, or want to be.. and I'm putting together pieces of why I've never seen it before. And the more I think about it, the more it bothers me I think. Because a lot of the reason that I've shut out who I enjoy being, or hid who I was.. or acted a certain way was based on a lot of other people and I'm disappointed with myself that I let it happen for so long. I'm glad I'm finally doing things on my own and making my own decisions and everything I do is based on me, not anyone else.. and it's really helping me grow. It's a really slow process, and it's just a small step, but I'm accomplishing things and getting close with friends I've closed off and I couldn't be happier with that. I should always be me based on me, unfortunately up until now I've been me depending on what other people want me to be. I'm reading a book by Andy Rooney and there's a lot of good quotes in it about character, but it's in my car so I can't put 'em in.
I do need to go to bed, though. Work alllllll day tomorrow.